Faster Car

001 - vent thoughts .

Silence. Cars rushing by. Wind blowing. Trees whistling.

Every evening you'd pass by the same tree that seemed as though it would break the exact moment you'd try to cross its path.

The heat, the rotten air, the putrid sun. All of it made you sick, this routine continued to feel tortuous to you as you'd make your journey towards home.

"Home"? What is the meaning of that word, you'd wondered for so long. It can slip off of anyone's tongue without hesitation but it doesn't automatically mean they have somewhere that can -without a doubt- be classified as a home. Maybe each time you claimed to head 'home', you were simply making an attempt to solidify this belief that you had somewhere to call home, when you knew damn well it wasn't home.

Your hands would continue to feel clammy. Forehead sweaty and back aching. Your supplies making walking more of a pain than ever.
Time seemed to slow as you made your way back home. "When would it end?" You'd wondered that each morning and each evening as you made these trips.

Is any of this worth it? You go through life thinking it's going to get better. But what if it doesn't, then what? Will you be able to laugh at those who brainwashed you into going through this "enjoyable" journey called life. Or would you simply give up and call it quits.

The thought of calling it quits is a strong thing to consider. Leaving everything behind and for what?
Peace? Rest? Silence? Oh boy did that sound tempting as you'd carry your aching feet across another sidewalk towards your goal.

The hope of getting greeted at the door rushes easily to your train of thought. What if my brother says hello, or my sister? Would I be able to muster up all remaining energy simply to say hello and plaster a smile to whoever might be there this time. Or will I simply nod and retreat to my room and collapse for the rest of the day until next time you have to drag your body out of bed.

As per usual, the dog's barked once you had passed their lawn. Oh how you wish for a pet. It'd bring such meaning to your pathetic life, instead of simply repeating this sad excuse of a routine you have had for years on end. Maybe it didn't have to be a dog.. a fish would make a difference despite it not being much... just please. Give me something. Something to look forward to each day, something to give me the courage to go on, or simply something to get me out of bed each day..