BILLIE-HALES

Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

While myself and the guys make our way down to York, I think about Zealie's words.
It would be good to have more help around the place, but could we do that? I mean, after the last time. You know, when we tried to be "just friends" it turned out he still hoped for more. Only I couldn't give him it. So I can't help thinking that he could be doing the same thing here he could just be doing this to get back with me. And then there's the issue of when he'll eventually find someone or if I find someone; what will it be like then? That's a bit of a messy one, isn't it? I mean, taking your new partner back to your place, knowing your ex is living with you. I doubt the new partner would be happy about that setup. I know I wouldn't like it.
I don't know. I guess it's something we definitely should discuss. To be honest, I've had no interest in anyone not since Zealie. Well, aside from that hunky Rugby player, I highly doubt that even he would fall for me. I mean, come on he'd watched me give birth to another man's kid.
Seeing all that gunk and blood. Well, it would be enough to turn anyone's stomach, especially someone who doesn't know me anyway. I guess it's different when it's friends and family, but for a "possible" suitor as they say; I highly doubt he'd look at me the way he did before I pushed her out.

"So, Billie, is Z-Man still out? Because I'm wondering if you've thought about giving me my chance yet?" Roddy says while sitting in the back of our minibus.
"In your dreams Rodney and no I'm not with him still. You know, I'm not and if you ask me out one more time, I'm going to mess about with your drums-sticks. Trust me, I'll hold them to ransom if you don't behave."

"Oh, sweetheart you don't need my sticks I can take care of business no worries."
Ugh, he's so weird.
"Rod, back off! Fucking take the hint; she's not interested. Jesus Christ. It's been months. Let it go." Bri our keyboard player says.
"It's okay Bri. He knows I'd never go out with him. I mean, Zealie, wouldn't allow him anywhere near me anyway. He'd probably wring his neck for even trying."

"Wait, you'd just said that you're not with him though, so how does that work?" Rodney asked and I end up grinning when I tell him that was my deal.
"I'd made him promise me to keep you away from me. If you so much as touch me he has my full permission to kick your ass."
Chris and Bri burst out laughing when I tell him this. Rod didn't look pleased about it, and I just carry on with practising our set songs.

When we make it to the venue, I sent Zealie a text. I told him I'd arrived safely while the boys set up for when the party arrives. Only Zealie called. He wanted to double-check the silly man can't relax unless he hears my voice. He told me anyone can send a text at least this way I know you're okay for sure. Of course, I'd pointed out the silliness of it telling him they could also force me to say I'm okay.

"Yeah, but at least I'd hear your voice. You know, if; God forbid, but if anything bad ever happened to you, and I couldn't get to you? At least, I'd get to hear you."

"Always with the sweet words, even though it's a bit morbid, but I'll take it."
He chuckled, which made me do the same, only I go silent knowing what I needed to tell him.

"Zealie, what you said about moving in..."
"Yeah, what about it?" He asked a little too eager.
"Well, I thought about it, but do you really think it would work? I mean, we're not together anymore. Well, what happens when we finally meet someone else? What do we do then? I mean, I hardly think that they'd like that setup never mind us seeing it too. I mean, not that I wouldn't be okay with you meeting anyone it's just I think it'll be weird. You know?"

He's silent and I know his brain is ticking over now. He's thinking in my words and once again he sighs.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right. I guess that would be kinda weird. Listen, I've got to go. I'm about to bathe Babie. I'll see you, tomorrow.
Laters, baby-B."