loves end

I'll figure this out later

Chapter 1

"I love you so much!" I said hugging him as tight as I could, his hands on my hips pulling me closer. God, I was already so close to him, but I wanted to be closer. he kissed my forehead, giving me butterflies. I smiled. A bang on his door killed the moment as we flung apart, acting as if we were just friends. his dad walked in "are you boys hungry?" He asked "no but thank you dad" Daren responded. I looked up at Mr Jackson "I'm good!" I said smiling at him. he gave a gentle nod, closing the door Mr Jackson is a very tough man, with the heart of a nurturing mother and the stare of a dead man one glance could send you into a spiral of panic to the world he was a man who never talked to anyone the town freak but within those walls he called home he was a proud man that loved his kids "I'm sorry…" Daren said quietly I wrapped my arms around him as he cried on my shoulder "for what?" I responded after a moment "not telling him about us" I lifted his head so his eyes met mine "there's no need to be sorry you'll tell him when your ready" I kissed him gently he nuzzled his head into my chest as we both lay back on the bed we lie there for awhile we must have fallen asleep since as I opened my eyes the room was dark I shook Darren's shoulder he didn't wake up he was a very heavy sleeper I pick him up just enough to slide out from underneath his head which was still Barried in my chest I lay him down covering him with the blanket I grab a notebook and leave a note "10:37 pm:I've got to head home now and didn't want to wake you, you seem so comfortable and I wish I could have stayed I love you lots I'll message you when I get home" i leave a little doodle heart in the bottom right corner the sound of the pencil scratching was oddly comforting reminds me of when me and my childhood best friend used to draw together drawing out fantacy world where nothing was wrong nobody died and everyone was happy sadly that was not the reality in fact it was almost the opposite I leave the room walking Into Darren's younger sister on my way out "sorry lara I didn't see you there" i say as I kneel down to look at her she was about 4'5 she was taller then most children Infact her whole family was taller then average unlike mine we were all quite short but Darren didn't seem to mind so thats all that mattered to me as long as he's happy I'm happy! "It's okay!" She replied in a cheerful voice as if she were happy to see me I stood up giving her a smile before walking towards the door griping the handle I had a feeling something was wrong shaking it off I walk out about 15 minutes into my walk home a stinging pain wiped over my body the ground plumaged closer untill there was nothing everything was black was I dead? No couldn't be I could hear the sounds of people running beside me louder then normal like it was being played over a base boosted speaker beside me pounding in my ears with a slight ring just loud enough so you knew it was there but not loud enough to hurt "SEBASTIAN" a fimillar voice calls out I couldn't make out who it was but the voice was calming all sounds ringing louder and louder the world spinning around me I guess I blacked out as I could no longer hear that voice keeping me sane as I lie there on the ground I wake to comfort of a nice cold room the smell of hand sanitizer stinging my nose tho I was no longer on the concrete underneath the feeling of a pool my own blood I was lying in vanished it felt like I was laying on a cloud the room was dark the door opens a beam of light interrupted by tall man's figure he had to be about 5'8 his shadow taking over most of the light in the room in a rush of adrenaline and fear I sit up quickly and spin around as I had been facing the wall while this shadow stands there it was darens father "your awake" "yea..?" He explained what had happened and it turns out I was caught in a cross fire and ended up getting shot and how I will have to go through a series of tests before I can leave Daren walks in from behind him and rushes to the side of the bed he hugged me tightly crying in my shoulder I pulled him closer whispering in his ear that I'm okay I'm surprised his father hasent realized were more then friends or Mabey he has and just dosent care? He sat up wiping his tears as his dad singled that it was time to go he stood up looking at me as he left

Chapter 2 (TW:sh)

I run up to my room dropping on to my bed thinking to myself how could I have been so careless and not walked sebastian home Mabey I whould have got shot instead he dosent deserve this, who the hell shot him, I pulled my knife out of my pocket and looked at it for a few minutes before placing it on my skin the slight sting of the tip pushing against my wrists not yet cutting through my skin I hesitated, what if my father finds out I promised him I wasn't going to harm myself again he'll be so disappointed when he finds out the sound of my inner demons yelling is getting so loud "just do it" "your worthless" "they wont care" "it's your fault he's hurt" silenced by the sounds of GreenDay I continue applying more and more pressure before the canvas that is my wrist is covered in little lines no specific way but still magnificent the outstanding shade of the red dripping with ever beat of my heart pooling at my feet the feeling of floating slowly starting to take over I take off my headphones the sound of the blood hitting the ground snaps me back into reality I look down panicking as I realize what I just did I hear foot steps coming down the hall I run to lock my door my heads spinning I sit down hoping to wake up and this whole thing be a dream "please for the love of fucking god let me wake up!" Pounds in my head quickly coming to the realization that this indeed wasn't a dream and that I had just broke the promise I've made to my father after my mother died I promised him I whoudnt do this and that I'd talk to him but I don't want him upset I've got to figure out how to deal with my emotions myself this is the only way I know how it's not healthy but it works the dripping sensation is the only thing keeping me sane when my demons are pulling me every way possible if loss of blood dosent kill me these thoughts will my door nob turns slowly giving me enough time to roll my sleeve down and kick a old shirt over the pool I stand up to meet the person at the door my sister stands there eyes red and puffy from crying "what's wrong Lara" trough the sniffles and tears she tells me her friend dosent want to play "I'll seeplay with you just give me a few minutes to finish up my homework why don't you go set up your trucks and I'll be there in a second okay?" She smiles running towards her room a smile from ear to ear beaming with happiness I close my door and quickly clean my floor and wrap my arm changing my hoodie opening my door I'm greeted by my sister handing me a truck and running down the hall her giggles slowly getting more distant I chace down the hall behind her and take a sharp turn into her room grabbing the corner to turn myself the feeling of the cool wooden frame brushes against my finger tips as I lunge into her room her giggling making me laugh as I run over and start tickling her I hear the frount door open and Lura looks at me in confusion "daddy shouldn't be home yet.." i tell her to stay quite and sit in the corner behind her bed, our dad won't be home for another 4 hours he's busy at work and I know he whould tell me if he's going to be home early my heart pounding as I pick up the biggest object I could find opening the door a crack to see who it was all I could see was someone in the frame of my bedroom door the steps coming closer and closer I brace myself to attack the intruder looking over at Lura I can see the fear in her eyes I do my best to hide that I'm afraid aswell a slight turn of door knobs beside me snaps my attention towards it only to see a hand pushing the door open nails coated in black paint I recognize the ring on the hand and tell laur to come out it was sabastian and she runs into his arms crying I put the toy down and hug sabastian as he opens the door "you scared us both dumbass" he looks up at me his eyes saying it all laur still crying in our arms I give sabastian a look of disappointment upset that he made her cry he sighs "I'm sorry I should have called before just coming over but my phone was left here"