Reach Out So I Can Hold Your Hand

Hate Us, Love You

Trigger Warnings : crying, arguments, threats of murder, talks of suicide and implying they wouldn't mind doing it, mental breakdown.

It's early in the morning when Felix stirs awake from a noise.

They shift on their elbow to look behind and almost screech in surprise when they find Changbin standing at the door, head hanging low, "Binie ?"

It's alarming when he doesn't answer.

They sit quickly, and shake Hyunjin to wake him up before they're standing up, "Hyung, what's wrong ?"

Everyone is in the room except Jeongin. They've decided if he's the next one to swap, he should be sleeping somewhere else to not overwhelm Chan when he'll wake up in his body.

Changbin tilts his head up and sighs shakily. "We're fucked."

Felix's heart drops.

They quickly hug their boyfriend, rub his back soothingly while Hyunjin finally shifts and notices them, "Hey, what's going on ?" His voice is hoarse from crying after last night and a bit louder, which wakes some of the others.

Felix brings Changbin to the bed and makes him sit before they go to close the door and turn on the light.

Jisung huffs with a whine while Seungmin sits abruptly and blinks.

Changbin chews on his lower lip and Felix finally sees how glassy his eyes are.

"We've lost."

Minho frowns from where he's sitting but his fatigue disappears fast enough, just like the rest of them, "What ? Binie, what's up ? What happened ?" He asks quickly and crouches closer to put his hands on his knees.

Changbin shakes his head, "We've lost, that fucking bastard knew since the beginning."

Jisung looks worriedly at him, "What- what do you mean ?" They're all scared of what he'll say next.

Felix can feel the nausea bubbling up their chest with how hard their heart is hammering.

"He knew since the beginning we were swapping," he explains with a shaky voice, and presses his palms on his face, "he took me off guard, I- I tried to leave the place, everything was going great but then he-" he swallows thickly, "- he was there, waiting for me."

Minho curses and Felix wants to throw up.

"Fuck," Seungmin utters angrily.

Jisung is speechless, just like Hyunjin, both wide eyed.

"And then he- he told me, they're going to leave the country."

"What ?" Hyunjin can't help but utter in shock, "They're leaving ?"

"When ?" Felix asks, so pale.

They can't be leaving.

They'll lose any contact with Chan and they'll never find him, without having been able to open his eyes.

They can't tear apart their only hope.

They just can't.

Changbin shrugs, "He told me after Jeongin, but maybe he's lying, I don't fucking know," his voice cracks and Felix quickly hugs him on the side, brings his face in the crook of their neck just as sniffles start to leave his lips.

"It's okay, you did your best hyung," they whisper gently, but their eyes are equally glassy.

"So that's it ? We've lost ?" Jisung can't help but shake the knife in the wound, not believing it. He's bitter with the outcome.