Soul of Ice

3. The Draught of Peace

The rest of the term until Christmas passed rather quickly, Abbie's schedule being as full as it was. Snape had explained everything to her, how he and her mother had been friends until one night at a party, she'd fallen pregnant and cut him off, never telling him about the pregnancy. Snape had realised the truth when Abbie had arrived at Hogwarts and he'd noticed how she resembled them both and the timings matched; he had asked her mother, who had confirmed the truth but they had agreed nothing would change, he would only ever be her teacher.

Abbie had written many angry letters to her mother but they all ended up screwed up and thrown in the fire. She just couldn't find the right words to express her anger at her mother for keeping such a secret and lying for so long. She'd spent so much time on her own, Christmases and summers looking after herself while her mother was off doing whatever it was she did that was so important. It was lonely but Abbie understood that her mother's work was important and that there wasn't much choice. But there had been a choice, she now knew - and her mother had chosen to lie to her, to leave her alone for months at a time.

For the last two Christmases, Abbie had taken the Hogwarts Express and gone home for the holidays, her mother having promised to be home for Christmas. And each time, Abbie had been let down. So this year, she decided she was going to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas. Harry, Ron and Hermione were all staying, bringing the total number of students at Hogwarts for Christmas to seven, which was still six more people than Abbie had seen the last two Christmases.

Once the holidays came around, however, Harry, Ron and Hermione were engrossed in trying to save some creature or another, so Abbie found herself on her own anyway. She wandered the empty halls, which had been decorated despite the lack of students in the castle. Her feet carried her out into the grounds and Abbie decided to sit against a tree by the lake shore. She wished she'd brought a book with her. Instead she sat on her own, looking out at the icy water, wondering if she'd made the right decision in staying at school since she was on her own anyway. Maybe that was just her lot in life. Sure she had friends in her classes, but they always had other people to hang out with. Even when the school was bustling, she couldn't help but feel alone.

Abbie stayed out there until her fingers and toes began to grow numb and she figured she should go back into the castle to warm up. On her way back, she saw Hagrid, the gameskeeper, tending to his garden. He was always alone, she reflected, but he didn't seem too lonely. And her mother never had any friends either, but she was happy with that. It had surprised Abbie to learn her mother had once been friends with Snape, although if she was going to be friends with anyone, a similarly solitary person would make sense.

What do the teachers do here in the holidays? Abbie wondered. Maybe they had a Christmas party in the staff room. Drunk teachers - now that was something Abbie would pay to see. Maybe they all got together and bitched about their least favourite students. She could definitely see them complaining about all the drama Harry Potter brought. Try as he might, that boy definitely seemed to attract trouble.

By the time Christmas came around, Abbie had found a few ways to amuse herself. She had decided to spend the holidays working on her songwriting, and so most of her time had been spent in the choir room, occasionally accompanied by Professor Flitwick, who as it turned out liked to spend his Christmases planning songs for the choir to sing. As she was there - and as, Abbie suspected, he could tell she was lonely - the two of them worked together on the music, Flitwick coaching Abbie on techniques while she tried to convince him to use more contemporary music for the choir. She had told him about her mother not being around, and the fact she'd stayed at Hogwarts so she would be less lonely. Flitwick had suggested using the opportunity to spend time with her father, but Abbie was apprehensive. When the truth had come out, she'd agreed that the status quo was fine, she didn't need him as a father, and they should just stay teacher and student and nothing more.