Missing You

Tristian (Chapter 4)

"She should call soon. I hope. I don't want to board the plane and not have talked to her first," he muttered as he held the phone up, making sure he had a clear signal. There would be no FaceTime call and for the first time, he was grateful for that.

Facetime would give it away that he was up to something.

"You need to get those nerves in check before we board and before she calls. You're already a terrible liar and this will make things worse," Jay said as he took the phone from Tristian's hand and checked to be sure the sound was on.

"This isn't going to work."

Jay gave a pointed look at his best friend and signaled for another beer. They had taken over the bar at the USO while waiting on their international flight. "Drink."

Tristian scowled at his friend before taking the beer and swallowing most down. Right as the glass touched back down on the bar, his phone went off. Giving a look of death to Jay, who handed it over with a smile, he answered it before it could ring a second time. "Hello?"

"Hey," a feminine voice said, causing him to damn near collapse onto the ground. No news is always good news when it comes to the military. Though there is nothing more definite than hearing your loved one's voice, no matter how much time had passed.

"Hey," he said, suddenly tongue tied. He knew time on the phones would be short and yet all the words he wanted to say seemed to freeze in the back of his throat.

"So, I have little time. It's been a busy week here. And my Marines still need their time, but I needed to hear your voice. I needed to. . ." Jenny broke off and Tristian picked up where she stopped.

"I love you too. Are you safe?"

"As I can be, I guess. Nothing's been too close, just some desk rattling and we've resorted to hanging pictures on the walls made from paper and crayons."

That meant things were hitting closer than Tristian wanted to hear and closer than what Jenny would admit to. "I'm sure the Marines love their crayon pictures, don't they?" he said with a smirk. Anyone that knew a Marine, or is one, would understand the joke, even if it wasn't a very nice one.

"Ha ha," she laughed. "How are my babies doing?"

"Their good. Being spoiled by my parents and the kids. We will have to detox them when we get home, you know that, right?" Tristian was looking at Jay who was grinning and drinking his beer. Jay was one of the biggest culprits of dropping intentional table scraps.

"That seems to be the trend. How are you? I miss you."

"I'm good, don't worry. I miss you, too. So much. You know, I was looking through pictures back at mom's and she had some from when we were dating. Can you imagine? All those years ago and you know what?"

"What?"

"You're still just as beautiful as ever."

Her laugh sent a shiver down his spine, just like it always had. She had a way with her voice, a silken edge that could melt any man of steel. That edge of her voice and the memory of her laughing had him clearing his throat and adjusting how he was sitting.

"What are you thinking about?" she whispered, that voice slipping through his veins and causing things to tighten that didn't need to be while he was in a public place. He just had to remind himself that, god willing, he could hear that silken edge in person in less than 24 hours' time.

"Nothing decent," he groaned and looked away from Jay who was rolling his eyes so hard it was a wonder he hadn't fallen off the barstool yet.

Without warning, there was a noise in the background on her end and a shout of voices in the distance. His blood began to pump, the small trembles of fear taking the place of the lust he had been holding onto. "Are you there? Jenny?" he demanded, his voice shaking in fear.

"Hang on," she shouted. He could hear voices muffled, her hand over the receiver now. There were more shouts and another explosion. His blood turned to ice. "I'm sorry, I have to go. I love you. Okay. I love you. I'm sorry."

"I love you, too," he managed before the line went dead. An eerie silence engulfed the room as a low ringing began in his ears. His vision clouded, and he was positive that his heart would beat out of his chest.

This was how nightmares started. Last words spoken in a rush, things that needed to be said and no time to form the words. There was nothing now, just the ringing in his ears and the echo of her voice. I love you. Okay. I love you. I'm sorry.

"Tristian!" a voice shouted. It seemed so far away, as far away as Jenny's voice was. "Come on man, snap out of it. What the hell happened?"

"There was an explosion and shouting. She said, 'I love you, okay. I love you. I'm sorry'. Then she hung up." He knew it was his voice talking, his mind telling him to say the words, except the feeling behind them was numb.

"Shit," he heard Jay mutter. Something was taken out of his hand and he was up on both feet, moving without telling his body to do so. Blinking hard, was that tears in his eyes, he tried to focus on where they were going but all he saw were white walls.

"Hey." Jay snapped his fingers in front of Tristian's face, bringing his attention to the sound and the movement. "Hey. You cannot do this here. Not right now. Snap out of it."

"Snap out of it?" and he did, like a drawn rubber band holding back a water balloon in the summer. The line snapped and instead of a blissful numbness, he was raging mad and terrified. "Are you fucking kidding me telling me to snap out of this?"

"They will not let you board the plane if you look like a dead man walking. We're still going over there and everyone that's important knows that." Jay took hold of Tristian's shoulders and shook the echo of fear away.

I love you, okay. I love you. I'm sorry. Those could not be the last words of hers he would hear; he would not allow it to be. The explosions were terrifying, yes, but she'd been through worse. He just had to keep telling himself that it sounded worse on the phone.

It could have been nothing.

It could have been everything.

I love you, okay. I love you and I'm sorry.

"I can't lose her, Jay."

"You will not lose her, Tristian. The both of you are too stubborn for that. Plus, Mills is over there and has got her back. Come on, let's get on the plane."

All Tristian could do was nod his head and follow Jay from the USO suite towards the gate. They had an eighteen-hour flight ahead, and he had a feeling it would last month's according to his nerves.

Once they boarded and were sitting in their personal booth seats, Jay handed him a tiny pill and a bottle of water. "I knew this would come in handy. Stole your emergency sleep meds. Take one and rest, we'll be there before you know it."

Obliging his friend, he swallowed back the medicine and laid his head back. When he closed his eyes, he could see his wife's face, clear as day, looking towards him. Her crystal blue gaze reflected the sun, and he wished her hair was down and framing her face. Instead it was pulled back into a bun, her cover in place and her lips in a fine frustrated line. I love you, okay. I love you and I'm sorry. She mouthed words and was gone before he could reach out and touch her face.

I love you, too, he whispered into the darkness. I'm coming, just hang on a little longer.