Emergent

Chapter 1

My name is called, and for a brief moment I consider what would happen if I just stay seated and don't move. That's silly, of course. My friends and family would jostle me up. I would eventually get to the front of the room; whether it is by choice or force is up to me. Shakily, I stand up. My stomach turns over and over, and even though I sense people looking at me with encouraging smiles I know if I made eye contact with any of them I will cry. I'm used to having lots of eyes on me. As one of the prettiest girls in Amity, I've always been courted by boys and had to get used to attention as a result. I just never thought that being watched could make someone feel so sick.

I somehow make it to the front, where the five bowls stand awaiting my choice. Each one represents a faction; earth for Amity, water for Erudite, coal for Dauntless, something for Candor, and something for Abnegation. Each one represents a future for me.

My heat yearns for Amity. Amity is what I know. My best friends will all choose Amity, and they'll spend the rest of their lives together working peacefully on their farms during the day and gathering to spend time together in the evenings. It sounds idealistic, and I am so, so tempted. But unfortunately, the factors affecting my choice are not so black and white. I look up for a brief moment and make eye contact with the reason for my indecision. Him. Blake. He sees me looking, and smiles. To everyone else it would be sweet; we've been dating for almost two years now, and in Amity that means you're probably going to be with someone for life. But I know that smile to be as cold as his heart.

In Amity I am a coward. I let myself be pushed around, and played with, and treated like property. See; Blake is important. His father holds a lot of sway in Amity, and to marry him would be a great honour for my family. To refuse him, and face the backlash I'm sure he would create, would not just ruin me, but everyone I care about. If I choose Amity I will either live miserably forever, or condemn my family. If I transfer, no one can blame me. You have to choose the faction you are most suited for; if my results were not Amity I cannot be expected to stay there, but I would be leaving my whole life behind. I wish there was someone I could have confided in to help me make this choice and weigh up my options, but there wasn't. Even my best friends, Julien and Emma, could not help me with this. There is one thing I am sure of, and I realise it as I stand up in front of everyone. I am tired of being afraid. Right now, in this moment, with Blake smiling at me as if everything is alright, I feel so sick at myself and how cowardly I've ben so far. I need to be brave.

The coals sizzle as my blood hits them.

The section of the room dressed in black jump up and cheer as the smile slips off Blake's face. Even as the shocked expressions of my friends and family come into focus, I can't help but feel a small lick of satisfaction.

I make my way over to Dauntless, not allowing myself to consider the magnitude of the decision I just made. Only once I'm seated next to another transfer from Candor do I allow myself to look back at my faction. No, my old faction.

Julien is trying to silently communicate with me. It unexpectedly brings tears to my eyes. I am leaving behind so much love. Emma just looks lost. I didn't think it would be this hard to leave without explaining my reasons, even if I know they can never find out the truth. The three of us were part of a larger group of tight-knit friends, who have stuck together since almost birth. That's how I know they were true friends; they didn't see a pretty face and want to get to know me; they knew me from the start. Everyone else who I knew is looking at me too. Miss perfect-Amity, a transfer. I don't think anyone saw it coming. I barely did myself.

Finally, I force myself to look at my parents. My mum is crying, and I can't look at her for too long without wanting to start sobbing properly myself. Even through her tears she still manages to smile at me in a way that says I trust you to do what's right for you. It's almost worse. My younger sister is tugging on her sleeve, asking what's going on. She's too young to properly understand. My dad looks worried. I don't know if it's worry about why I left, worry for his wife and other daughter, or worry about the faction I decided to join. I don't let myself think about it too much.

The rest of the names pass in a blur. The only interruption is the boy next to me introducing himself.

"I'm Silas," he says, extending a hand. I shake it, and smile a watery smile. It can't look good to appear weak before Dauntless initiation has even begun. A thrill of fear shoots through me. Did I choose the wrong faction?

I push it down as best I can. "My name is Clara. It's lovely to meet you." The greeting isn't very Dauntless, but to make myself feel better I resolve that no matter what comes next I will do my very best to be kind as well as brave. I may be leaving Amity behind, but I don't think Amity will ever really leave me.

Eventually, all the names have been called. I barely have time to process what's happening before everyone in Dauntless is up and running. Luckily I've spent many long days in wide open fields, so I'm fast. I race along Silas, adrenaline fuelling my movements. He catches my eye and grins, and I can't help but match it, despite the sadness that still holds me. I am determined not to think about what I'm running from, and instead focus on what I'm running towards.

We make it to the platform of a train station, and a train is pulling it's way through. Instead of it stopping for us, Dauntless members match it's speed, grabbing the bars on the sides of the bars and swinging themselves up.

"Oh god," I hear Silas pant, and I can't help letting a violent laugh escape my lips.

We share one last look before giving our all and rushing towards one of the doors. Luckily, a lifetime of apple picking means I don't struggle to swing myself in. I stumble a bit but manage to make it look like I'm intentionally sitting down. Silas also has some muscle on him, so we both make it with relative ease. However, we both gladly take a moment to catch our breath again.

There isn't much of a break, as an Erudite girl takes our silence as an opportunity to introduce herself.

She has a mischevious look about her that I automatically like. "Hi," she states. "My name's Amy. You're Clara, right? And Simon? Si... Si-something?"

"Silas," the poor boy interjects. He is still out of breath.

"Right, sorry," she says. "Bit of a shock, this whole train thing isn't it! Would never catch anyone doing this in Erudite. But then they always were a bit boring. Part of the reason why I transferred! I tell you, no one there can take a good joke..."

I listen to her talk. Even though some of the other carriage members start to look slightly irritated, I don't find it annoying at all. I need something to keep my mind occupied other than thoughts of Amity.

Amy's enthusiasm about our new lives in Dauntless eventually coaxes a small smile out of me.

"God, you're hot," she says suddenly, taking me my surprise. I blush. "No, sorry, don't be embarrassed! I just say it how I see it most of the time."

"Thanks," I reply. In Amity, beauty was a treasured thing. I've been raised to be proud of how I look, so the compliment in itself isn't unexpected. Just the delivery. "You're not so bad looking yourself. I really love your hair." It is gorgeous; long and deep chestnut.

"Many thanks to you, Amity," Amy grins. "Once I get out of these drab blue rags I'm sure I'll look way better as well. At least one can hope."

"Geez woman," Silas wheezes, evidently having recovered enough breath to contribute. "Are you sure you weren't Candor? I've never heard someone say so much in so little time."

Amy laughs at that, and they continue to chat. I chime in sometimes, but mostly opt to stare at the passing scenery. I know I should make an effort to connect with my fellow initiates, but the thought of moving on so quickly breaks my heart. Just this morning I woke up in my bed in Amity.

After a little while the Dauntless members of the carriage begin to stand. We follow suit quickly, not wanting to miss out on anything. Amy is brave enough to ask what's coming next. Someone replies, telling us to get ready to jump.

Silas, Amy, and I exchange a look. Jump? Off the train? I edge as close to the opening as I dare, and look down towards the front of the train. Sure enough, we're approaching a rooftop and people are jumping onto it, across a gap wider than I'd like. I turn back towards the others.

"Well, it's not like we can turn back now," Amy says with a matter of fact shrug.

In silent agreement, we turn. I go first, because if I don't then I probably won't at all.

When I jump, I don't think of Amity, or Emma, orJ ulien, or Blake, or my mum. I think of myself.