How not to save the Earth

Ethan

Ethan is a normal introvent young man. Brown sort hair, dark brown eyes, a big nose, no will to live and the scratchy sensation that he needed to do something he hadn't done.
Still, he wasn't going to move his ass from the comfy chair he has gained in the kitchen. The one in front of the tv. Ethan keep eating his savory cereals, his mind floating absently in a void of mild depression. He was happy to be unhappy. Glad of misfotune.
He was pleased to be mediocre.

Ethan is an odd introvert guy with the passion for mistery cases and dragons. Dragons are majestic.
And they are not real, more bonus points in Ethan's perspective. No hot and wet tongue on him at 5 a.m. He wuold cheerfully living without the big stinking pet bought by her mother, thanks.

Some people, after the 22nd year of existence, would love some adventure. Or some stability.
But not Ethan. E just wanted his cereal and a lecture that dosen't start early in the morning.
Peace was a state of the mind, something you could reach while enojoying little pleasures.
So, while watching a crappy talk show and mixing the milk in the big red bowl, he achieved the nirvana. Or what he thought nirvana was.

The buzzing of the phone shatters the white noise in his mind, forcing him to aknowledge reality. A shame, indeed.
A message on Whatsapp.
Great, he dosen't have to interact directly with a person. He has the time to think.
The unkown number, though, unnerves him. How dare you, mysterious person, break a routine?

His favourite house program (as if he could afford one) was interrupted by a breaking new he doesn't care about. Time for zapping.

And another message. That's disruption of the public peace. An electric guitar in his ballade groove made of violins, cellos and desperation!
Ethan is quite melodramatic at times.
Still, he dosen't spare a glance at his smartphone and decide to fix his blank eyes on the delicious bowl. This much that he zoned out the screaming neighbours children, relieving his hapless ears.

Right on time to ignore the phone call. The buzzing of his second-hand Samsung created ripples on the milk surface.
Oh, watch! That cereal looks like the Australia! What a beautiful sight: the continent is drifting away from his cereal friends and it's sinking down like the Titanic. Ethan now want a series on cereals. On Netflix, maybe? Prime? He doesn't have money to pay for them thought.
Maybe his uncle wuold let him stay at his home to watch this subversive and mind blowing show.

<< The world is ending, young Ethan, you won't find your answer in that cup.>>

Who the hell is so bold to call him young?
Wait, who the hell is talking if he was alone at home?

Ethan look up. Across the white quadrangular table there's a fifty-something aged man, dressed in a long purple dress. A dress with long sleves, a hood and no trimmings. A beared man probably popped out from the most degraded and unhealthy pub in the city. O maybe even the country.

He didn't stik, though. Still better than Paul, then. Paul the dog. Stupid creature.
Just a second, shouldn't he be alarmed or something?

<< WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!>>

Not properly his, but the stranger doesn't really care, does he?

<< I'm here to guide you, young chosen one.>> answered the creepy man in a bathrobe with a smoker's voice.

<< Guide me... To university? That would be helpful, thanks. But mother didn't tell me you would come.>>  replied Ethan sarcastically.

It has never happened that his mother would give him a ride. And, especially, she never let a beared man roaming in her house. Her house, guarded by the most dumb animal.

<< No need to be skeptical. I'll make you see how you'll save the world.>>
<< The world need less humans, if you want a serial killer you'll need someone who can aim.>>
<< Non that kind of end of the world.>>

This guy was too calm and still in the kitchen, that really gave nerves to the sleepy young man.

<< Pollution?>>
<< Do you think you can defeat pollution all by yourself?>>
<< I don't know. Why don't you tell me?>>
<< Because deep in your heart you know what is your destiny.>>

Ethan swears he's a pacifist but he was tempted to throw the bowl at his face. Destiny? That was for adacious foolish men that believe in social redemption and utopian futures! Chosen one? He wasn't even chosen for the recital in middle school. He was the tree. In the second lane!

Rationally speaking he was in an impasse. This tall odd man was bigger and craziest than him. And he just have thirty minutes left before the start of the lesson. Better indulge him.

<< End of alcohol production?>>
<< No.>>
<< Mickey Mouse will conquer the world and make us his slave.>>
<< Out of my area of expertize.>>
<< You have an area of expertize that is not alcohol?>>
<< Indeed. I'm a mage, wise in the ancient scriptures.>>

Oh, great. The man was crazy. Time to call the police, then.

Ehtan finally takes the phone from the table, the one he has ignored all morning. The one he should have watched carefully when the irritating vibration made part of the Oceania collapse in lactose.
Because the unknown number now reclame his attention with: you are going to save the world.

Ah-ah. Funny jokes. Really.

<< How do you have my number?>>
<< I sought it in the stars.>>

The student began to have a severe headache. What a noisy morning.
And maybe his facial expression gave out how incredulous he was because the drunkard said some arsh and incomprehensible words, making Ethan jump. The breakfast bowl and the cereal box flew into the air and started dancing.
Now, really, he must not touch his source of livelihood. That's cruel.
The mage stares at him with a big smile plastered on his face.
He is satisfied with himself, the bastard!

<< Wow. Do you want an applause?>> spatted Ethan with the enthusiasm of a delivery boy stucked in the traffic.

<< You clearly don't understand.>>

The channel in tv shows a flashing red breaking news. Ethan hates the world.

<< You are in danger. Everyone is in the danger! Planets, star clusters, nebulae are conveying a signal! We must hurry, the magic is unbalanced, the evil is...>>

Ethan didn't ear the end of rumbling sentence of the insane man. He takes his school bag, the jacket, he puts on his shoes and leaves the house.
People are mad nowdays. Mad.

Ethan knows he is no-one. Ethan doesn't even like his everyday life.
The Erth could indeed explode, he doesn't really care.

He hasn't finished breakfast. That is totally more important.