Unconditional Love

07

After a year

"It's been a year anak. I'm asking God why he didn't give me you. Why he didn't gave me the greatest gift. Lagi kitang iniisip. Lagi kang nasaisip ni Daddy. Sorry kasi nagkulang ako. Sorry kasi hindi mo man lang naramdaman ang pagmamahal ng isang ama habang nasa tummy ka palang. Mahal na mahal kita. Ikaw yung pinakamagandang nangyari sa buhay ko. Patuloy kitang mamahalin dahil sa konting panahon na nakita ko yung heartbeat mo. Nakita ko kung gaano ka kaliit sa tummy, minahal na kita. Sobrang minahal kita. Lagi ka lang sana nandito para kay daddy kasi ikaw lang yung lakas at pagmamahal na kailangan ko." Bright said while holding his necklace na may dugo ng anak niya. He then sang a song for his baby that ended up with him crying to bed again.

"Isang taon na pala. Ang bilis bilis anak. Ang bilis bilis mong nawala sakin, samin ng daddy mo. Sorry kasi sinabi ko pagkakamali ka sa daddy mo. Hindi hindi ka pagkakamali anak ikaw yung isa sa pinakamagandang nangyari saakin. I'm always keeping you here. Kayo ng daddy mo." Win said while touching his heart. He is crying again, nothing new.

"Light, it's been a year. Naptawad na kita Kaya kasama ko din si Victoria ngayon. She's inside the car I will let you talk to her later. I want to say thank you for everything. I want to say sorry kasi minahal ko si Bright. Alam ko hindi dapat ako humihingi ng tawad pero gusto ko padin. Sana mapatawad mo ako kasi matagal na kitang napatawad. I hope you're at peace." Win said while talking to Light's grave. He is not crying but smiling. He forgave everyone long ago. Ang hindi niya lang mapatawad ay ang sarili.

After 2 years

"It's almost your 2nd death anniversary. Nothing changed, Anak. Ikaw padin ang nagbibigay ng lakas at pagmamahal kay daddy. Wala ka man dito ramdam ko naman yung pagmamahal mo. I have always wished you're here kasi kahit sobrang sama ng mundong to nandito si daddy para protektahan ka sa lahat.
Ikaw lang yung kailangan ko. Wala ng iba Anak, Ikaw lang. Gagawin ni Daddy ang lahat para sayo, ibibigay ni daddy ang lahat ng gusto mo. Pero wala ka dito Anak ko, wala dito yung baby ko." Bright said while touching his necklace. He is crying.

"Mahal na mahal kita. Siguro naglalakad ka na ngayon at nagpapabili ng laruan. Siguro tinuturuan na kita kumain at maghugas ng kamay. Siguro niyayakap mo si daddy ngayon. Siguro masaya ako ngayon. I always say this to you but in another life please comeback to daddy." Bright said while crying. It's still not his child's 2nd death anniversary but for some reason may nararamdaman siya.  He always talks to his baby but times like this always felt different.

Bright's POV
It's been two year and I still feel nothing.
I'm now here sa US after everything that happened I just flew here with my angel. I'm bringing me and Win's child here. I'm wearing a necklace with the blood of my child. Thanks to today's technology we can do that. Mom and Dad knew everything of course they hate me.

I can't go home. It's my worse nightmare.
I don't plan to go home anytime sooner.
Not until Mom and Dad had a accident.

Bright is now at the hospital. It's the last place he would visit. All the memories of Win crying because of their baby keeps on coming back. Win is a doctor now.  He is the doctor of Bright's Parents. After a lot of close people to him dying, Win decided to be a doctor.

"Good Afternoon, Mr. Vachirawit. Mrs. Lianna Marie Chivaaree needs to stay for more than a month while  Mr. Vachire Chivaaree needs to stay for a month. We would strictly monitor them." Dr. Metawin said and Bright is listening.

"Thank you, Dr. Metawin" Bright said while staring at Win. The way he said that unforgettable and prohibited name felt right. This is the first time he saw Win for the past year. Win is still in contact with Bright's Parents that's why he became their family doctor.

Ang sakit din pala na makita ka ulit. Parang bumabalik lahat ng sakit. Bakit kaya ganon? Do you want to know the truth? I'm still here loving you. Loving you without any conditions. I love you quietly.  I already let you go, That's the right thing to do. Kahit anong gawin natin the end will be the two of us letting each other go.

I'm sorry if I'm not Light. Sometimes I just want to be Light para ako yung favorite ni Mommy at Daddy. Para ako yung mahal ni Win. Para ako yung gusto ng lahat. Minsan pinangarap ko na ako nalang yung namatay. Minsan inisip ko na what if baliktad ako nalang yung nagkasakit. Siguro masaya si Mommy, Daddy at Win ngayon. They will stilll have Light even though they will lose me. Maybe that will be better. Maybe that's for the best.

Nandito ako sa rooftop ng hospital Nakatingin sa mga building. I don't know why I came running here alam ko naman na ayaw ako makita nila Mommy and Daddy. That's why I'm also leaving today. I will go back to America and act as if I'm ok. That's what I'm good at acting ok.

Nakahawak lang ako sa railings.
Not gonna lie this view is so nice.
Tumingin ako sa baba, medyo nakakalula.
Titingin sana ako ulit kaso may sumigaw

"wag ka tatalon, may nagmamahal sayo." Someone shouted worriedly.

Bright knows that voice. Bright can never forget that voice. Win surely don't know it's Bright kaya siya sumigaw.

"Are you ok?" Win asked na tumabi kay Bright ngayon.

"Uhm" Bright said at tinigan lang si Win.

"Oh it's you. Sorry, I thought isa ka sa mga tumatalon dito." Win said awkwardly

"It's fine." Bright said

"Don't worry Tito and Tita will be ok." Win said while looking at Bright. He changed so much. He looks more emotion less now.

"I know. By the way Don't tell them I visited" Bright said not looking at Win.

"Huh? Bakit naman? They will be happy to know you visit them." Win happily said

"They won't be happy. Just do me this favor.
I have to go now still have a flight to catch." Bright said at tatalikod na sana ng hawakan ni Win ang kamay niya.

"Don't distance yourself too much baka tuluyan ka ng mawala samin. Take care of yourself while I take care of tito and tita." Win said at bumitaw na kay Bright.

"I lost myself a long time ago." Bright said
seriously. "I lost myself, my parents and you a long time ago" Bright thoughts

"Thank you for taking care of my parents. Also take care of yourself." Bright said at tuluyan ng umalis.

Win's POV
Still the normal Bright. Eversince that day He distant himself from me. From everyone. He only has his self now.  I became a doctor kasi nawala na si Mama at Papa ng maaga dahil sa malubhang sakit.  Si Light dahil din sa sakit. Yung baby namin ni Bright nawala na din. A lot of people close to me keeps on dying kaya I decided to try being a doctor and I liked it.

It's been two years alam na din ng parents ni Bright ang totoo. Never sila nagalit saakin pero kay Bright alam ko galit sila.  I don't know why but hindi na ako nangialam. I always talk to them kaya I became their family doctor.

This is the first time I saw Bright after a very long time. Gusto ko man sabihin na mahal ko siya. Hindi pwede. I can just love him by taking care of the people that matters the most to him. I will never lose my love when he still wears that necklace. It was the blood of our baby.

Nagpatuloy kami sa sarisariling buhay namin but Bright is someone you will never understand. He will show you his cold side but deep inside is so warm. Believe me. I saw his warm side dati but now He keeps on showing me his cold side. Sino ba ako para magdemand? I'm happy that he talks to me kasi dati grabe iwas niya sakin akala mo virus ako.

I don't know why but everytime I see Bright there's this pinch in my heart. A hint of pain and a lot of happiness.