the kids in the dark - stray kids

3: take your time

"he shot me."

everyone sat there in silence. no one knew what to do or say.
what are you supposed to do in that situation?
laugh? cry? stay silent? comfort?
you don't know.

"wh-what?" felix stuttered, staring at his boyfriend.
hyunjin took a deep breath and stood up, lifting up his shirt to show off the long scar on his stomach.
"you told us that was from a surgery.." jisung said quietly.
"it was from a surgery. a surgery to get the bullet out of my stomach.."
hyunjin explained, pulling his shirt back down and sitting.
"who took you to the hospital?" chan asked.
"my grandma. she always liked me more than my sister. no clue why, she just did. she still does." hyunjin smiled.
"why didn't your dad get arrested?" seungmin asked, confused.
"he's a cop, min. he can get away with anything."
everyone sat there in silence for a moment before jisung spoke up.
"im adopted." he said, catching everyone off guard.
"what?"
"im adopted. i was in an adoption center in malaysia for a good majority of my life. when i turned ten, i got adopted by my now parents. little did anyone know, they were drug dealers. when they picked me up they were high off every drug you could think of. they adopted me for the money. they never took care of me, or treated me well. they just.. i dunno." jisung explained.
he took a deep breath before continuing his words.
"if i didn't do what they said, or stayed quiet about what they did, they'd hit me. they'd throw me into walls, hit me over the head with things. he'd pull my hair until it came out, he'd drown me, choke me. you name it, he did it. it was hell. when i came out as gay, somehow, it only got worse from there. i thought it was normal. you know, i never had parents before, so i thought that it happened to everyone. but, i later realized, that's not true at all. so i fought back. so much, they kicked me out. but, dad never really wanted me to leave. i was his second punching bag. he used mom as the first. he never believed women deserved anything nice. he's highly sexist." jisung explained.
everyone was confused, because he explained it so nonchalantly.
changbin just hugged the younger, rubbing his back.
"we're sorry, ji." felix said.
"don't be. it's fine really. im fine now!" jisung smiled at everyone.
"let's change the subject onto someone else, shall we?" chan asked.
for the millionth time, the room went silent.
"i was a good kid. i had a really good life. i was smart, i was nice. i was on honor roll. i had scholarships left and right. but i never wanted any of them. i'd be tired out day after day because my aunt and uncle would pile school work onto me like my life depended on it. i was sent to korea for a scholarship and i barely spoke korean. and i wasn't too good at learning so the pressure became worse and worse. it was hell. one day, i met hyunjin and my aunt noticed my grades going down and my honor roll was revoked and i broke my perfect attendance. because he made me feel free, alive. like i wasn't a robot. she banned me from seeing him so i ran away. never looked back." felix said, smiling at his boyfriend.
"that's crazy that you guys are still together. after all these years." jisung said, smiling.
"i know. i dunno what i'd do without him." felix smiled.
"what about you, seungmin?" chan asked, looking at the younger.
seungmin sat still for a moment.
he didn't know what to say.
"uhm.. yknow i never had.. like.. the best life. but, it wasn't horrible either.. yknow like-"
"what're you saying, min?" minho asked, looking at his boyfriend.
"i-i grew up normal.. i don't know what you mean?" seungmin said, a nervous smile on his face.
everyone looked at him in a way that it made him feel small.
smaller than usual.
"my parents uhm.. they weren't home much. so, they left my brother in charge of me. all the time. he's an adult, he was always able to fend for us. my parents have always loved me, and they got me things i wanted, they got me into good schools because they knew i was smart.. but uhm.. they.." seungmin took a deep breath.
"it's okay, seungmin. no one's gonna say anything." felix assured.
seungmin nodded and closed his eyes for a moment.
"uhm, my brother. anytime i'd do something bad.. he'd.. uhm he'd touch me. he'd touch me in places i didn't want to be touched. and that went on until i was big enough to fuck. then he'd have sex with me. a-after a while i had just accepted it, but then when i didnt put up a fight... h-he'd.. he'd get more aggressive. more violent.. he'd be physical in bed.. and out. he'd force me to watch porn so that i'd be good at blow jobs." seungmin explained, eyes fixated on the ground.
"how old were you..?" minho asked, quietly.
seungmin stayed quiet for a long time.
he didn't know what to say.
"nine."
everyone cringed.
it was horrible to hear.
"then what happened?" jisung asked.
"i broke. i had enough. i tried to tell my parents, but they flipped. so i tried to kill myself. after i came home they flipped again.. so i ran away."
everyone stared at the boy in awe. they didn't expect something like that. it broke their hearts, to see seungmin so broken like that.
they had no clue that that was his story.
they never thought about something as serious as that.
"are you okay now?" chan asked.
"yeah! i'm fine. i've been clean for a few years and i'm happy now." seungmin said, smiling at everyone.
they were happy to hear that seungmin was better now.
they didn't want their best friend in such distress.
"what about you jeongin?"
jeongin looked up, seeing everyone staring at him.
"uhm, well you all already know i cut myself." jeongin said.
"aren't you clean?" chan asked.
"haven't touched a blade since the night you yelled at me for it."
the room stayed silent for a while.
no one said anything, until after a few minutes, jeongin decided to speak.
"i was beat by my dad. i think that was pretty obvious. but uhm one time i got kidnapped. by someone who didn't like my dad, and my dad didn't even try looking for me. i was kidnapped at age 7 and this man raised me to be who i am. i wouldve rather lived with him than my own dad. until i called him dad to see what happened and he..." jeongin didnt finish. he couldnt.
"it's okay, take your time."