Chapter 1 Tom

12 1 0
                                    

Authors note// trigger warning for self-harm and eating disorders



Before I even get into my current situation, let me tell you a little about myself.

My name is Tom and I am 17 years old. I have been in love with my best friend, Anna, since the sixth grade. Also, I should probably tell you that I have been self-harming since the eighth grade. That was the year that I realized I would never have a chance with Anna. How could Anna love someone that doesn't love themselves.

8th grade was the year Brian and Anna started dating. Brian is the all-star quarterback for our school's football team. Anna is the captain of the cheerleading squad. Stereotypical, I know right. They are the reason I must attend every home football game. It isn't that bad though. I get to see Anna jump around in a short skirt and a small crop top. Now into my current situation

I am stuck watching cheering and football practice. I'm only here for cheering practice but football practice is at the same time. I'm Anna's ride home since we are neighbors. Speak of the devil, here she comes.

"Hey, Tom," muttered Anna as she sat down.

"Are we staying to watch the rest of football practice?" I replied.

"Its up to you. You have the car," she retorted.

"I guess we can stay," I muttered

"Yay!" she squealed as she flung her arms around my neck to give me a hug.

I could feel Brian's cold stare drilling holes into my back. They must be on a water break because Brian started jogging over to where we are sitting.

"Hey babe!" Brian smirked as he leaned in to give Anna a kiss.

He made sure to jam his tongue down her throat because I was there.

"Well, your happy to see me today!" giggled Ann as she pushed him away.

"Do you want to come over tonight and watch Netflix?" Brian said as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"I was supposed to study with Tom tonight," she replied sadly.

"Its fine, go, have fun," I interrupted as I got up to leave.

"Thanks Tom, the test isn't for two days anyways," she remarked as she jogged to my car to get her bag out.

"Look back the fuck off of my girl!" Brian exclaimed as soon as she was out of earshot.

"Look man I have no idea what you are talking about!" I responded trying to sound surprised

"Anyone with a pair of eyes and some common sense could see that you are in love with her." he replied.

He suddenly stopped talking as quickly as he started. I could not figure out why and was ready to freak out on him until I realized why he stopped.

"Hey guys. What were you talking about?" Anna asked cheerfully as she skipped backed to us.

"I was telling him about m-m-m my party on Friday after the big game!" Brian stuttered out.

"Yeah, I was telling him that I was free Friday and could attend," I chuckled with a smirk plastered on my face.

"It is going to be great," Brian said through clenched teeth.

"I can't wait my boyfriend and my best friend!" she said happily as she slung her arms around us for a hug.

"Alright I gotta get back to practice before coach gets pissed." Brian said with a clearly fake smile.

"Bye, babe I'll be waiting right here when you are done." she said as she pecked him on the cheek.

"Ok well I have to go," I said while giving a little wave as I jogged to the car.

"Bye Tom see you tomorrow in class," she yelled back.

I got in my car and put it in drive as quickly as possible. I bit my lip to try to hold back the tears. As soon as I was out of the parking lot the tears started to freely flow down my face. I can't believe she would just ditch me to fuck her boy toy. I can't believe I just sit here and deal with this shit. As soon as I enter my house I head straight to where I keep my blades hidden. I keep them in a shoebox under my bed. I also keep a picture of me and Anna in there from when we were little. I leave it in there so I have a reminder that I will never have a chance with her. I ran down the hall towards my bathroom. I'm lucky my parents were at some stupid charity thing. They are like never home. As soon as my feet pass through the doorway my shirt and jeans were already being pulled off. My arms of thighs were already littered with cuts. Some were in a healing stage. Some were from no more than a few days ago. I was looking for a place I could cut that wouldn't open up the older cuts. I finally found a spot on the inside of my thigh. I ran the blade across my skin at least 12 times. It was such a relief to watch the blood run down my leg. I reached blindly for the handle on the cabinet. When I finally wretched it open I reached in for the box of bandages. I wrapped the bandage around my cuts and secured it down with medical tape. As I stood up my head started to spin. I realized all I've ate in the last 3 days was a small fry from McDonald's. I some how managed to get down the steps without falling. I stumbled my way into the kitchen and over to the fridge. I blindly reached in and grasped the first thing I felt. It happened to be leftover pasta. I grabbed a fork and started shoveling it into my mouth. I moaned at how good it tasted. It probably tasted really shitty but after not eating for 3 days it tasted like heaven. Although I'm just going to end up throwing up the pasta in a few hours. I forgot to tell you that I'm also a bulimic.


You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: May 31, 2015 ⏰

Add this story to your Library to get notified about new parts!

ChangedWhere stories live. Discover now