SOUNDTRACK SERIES vol 2 [oneshots compilation]

Retrograde - James Blake (aka The Songs That Guided Me To You parts 1-2)

Trigger warning: break ups lol

In 2020 I wrote a 9-chaptered piece that reminded me of my own break-up pains because I thought, well, maybe it's fun to write another angst.

It was not. I just finished A Love in 3 Chapters and everyone was essentially cursing me. It was not fun at all. Instead, I wrote To All The Girls I Loved Before thinking it won't be angst. Well, that didn't turn out as I hoped it would.

Anyway. I ran this by Nic (@rudesunyoung) recently to ask if it has the potential to be picked up again into a full-blown fic. And while she nearly changed my whole doc because of my horrible grammar and run-on sentences, it made me realise I was mostly in love with the first 4 chapters anyway and I don't have much energy for the rest.

So, here it is. Just showing you the first chapters because I thought maybe it could stand alone somehow. Everyone talks about pain and how it made them do crazy things just to move on, but now one really talks about the loneliness and the painful bits of vulnerability you go through. And finding solace in strangers in the middle of it.

(massive thank you to rudesunyoung for helping shape this up. Find her at https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudesunyoung/pseuds/rudesunyoung)

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The blare of the Saturday night traffic may have been somewhat muted, but it was still loud enough to surround Lisa's sprawled being on the floor of her living room apartment. She counts them, every single impatient honk and toot and road rage like numerous sheep struggling to jump over the fence.

The blonde has taken to staying and often sleeping in her living room since she moved in more than two months ago, trying to tune out the street noise to focus on the more subdued hum of the apartment complex tenants. When she was told this small, one-bedroom unit was cheaper because it's closer to the streets, Lisa didn't account for rush hour traffic that apparently extended till late; she only knew she needed a place to crash in. Sleep arguable.

She hasn't been sleeping much lately anyway, so.

The low-rise U-shaped apartment complex isn't much to look at from the outside, but it's starting to grow on Lisa. There are 8 units per floor designed as 4 for each side, with only the metal stairs and the elevators situated at the U end of the complex. Since the spaces between the two sides of the U complex aren't that far apart there's a disposition to easily hear the neighbours across, but it's still quiet enough for the blonde's liking.

She hears the television from beside her unit; they've been shifting channels for some time now. She continues staring at her ceiling absentmindedly, like what she has been doing for the past 30 minutes or maybe 2 hours, she's lost track.

Her phone buzzes, the only other source of light in the dimly lit living room. While the hallway light that comes through her kitchen windows is enough for Lisa to make out her surroundings, there really isn't much to see. There's that one chunky old sofa that she got off of Craigslist, one that needs a little vacuuming and smells incessantly of someone's grandma. The adjacent kitchen houses two of her mugs along with her personal cutlery set, a barely used set of non-matching plates, her coffee press, and a dollar store pot. She hasn't really taken to using her kitchen diligently, evident from all the take-out boxes inside her fridge and her garbage bin. Even her cupboards show nary a sign of ample nutrition with all the instant noodles, vodkas, and beers she has stocked in.