Secrets Of Love

One ~

Mirabel ~

"Yessss mother  I know"........"What? Of course not, you don't have to worry, everything's good with Charlie and I. He's a very sweet guy, I'm pretty sure he's the one hehe"....... "Ugh really mother he's perfect! You don't have to worry... really "......."okay okay gotta go mother"....." love you too! Bye!" 

I end the eternity call I was having with my mother that I  taught was never gonna end, really prayed she would stop asking me about my relationship with Charlie, it's really annoying! Telling me if I think he's really the one for me and all that shit! 

I mean he's a sweet guy, kind, charming, trustworthy, like literally he's the person I trust the most in this world and I'm one hundred percent sure he will NEVER break my heart! Like really, I'm 19 and he's 20, soo we're literally perfect, he's only a year older.
Plus, he promised we'll be together forever!

Okay, I'm not trying to sound cliché and naïve at the same time but really, I know he's good for me...

I say to myself as I walk into our apartment we rented together in Texas. "Char!...Char I'm home!"....Where is he?  I checked the time it's 6:15pm. I mean, I did tell him I wasn't gonna be back from the school's library till 9pm but I changed plans, and he said he's gonna stay home all day......"CHAR!!"......"Charlie?!!".... Oh gosh did he go somewhere without telling me??!

Wait, I hear something.... "Ch..Char?" Okay I'm getting a little bit paranoid now, I'm hearing some muffled sounds coming from upstairs ...

I climb up the stairs kind of fidgeting , ugh curse my paranoid sense! I hear  the muffled sounds becoming much louder and...clearer, and it's seems like it's coming from our...bedroom? I walk closer hoping it's not what I'm thinking, I mean I do trust him fully, but.... I couldn't finish the sentence in my head because the universe just had to slap it right in my face. Those weren't muffled sounds, it was MOANING?!

Through my naked eyes I see Charlie and...oh. my. God. Khloe Riley?! Having sex on our fucking bed! Khloe's literally my best friend! I couldn't even feel anything or move any more that I accidentally drop my phone to the ground making a loud thud.

"Ahhhhhh! No! No! No! Stop! Stop! Stop!!!" I wake up with a scream from my own mouth. I began crying.

This is gonna be the one hundredth time I'm having that same dream! Why's life so cruel to me?  Why can't I just move on and forget about him?! Forget about them?! The pain is really unbearable! I need it to stop! I say to myself as I start my last day crying non stop.

Yes my last day, I need to leave this earth. I need to leave life and stay with dad. Yes, my dad that I lost ten years ago, It was really hard for me when he left the earth. Fuck I need to die.

I can't take it anymore, the painful memories, ugh the pain, the pain of a three years relationship, the image of my past relationship with Charlie Parker, he's so cruel, he's... he's... I don't even know what to call him anymore, also Khloe Riley, my ex-best friend who was one of my favourite person in the world, and it's really a big deal to have two of your favourite people in the world stab you right in the fucking back.

And my mother... my mother? I giggle. Can I still call her that? Even after not being there for me after my heart break since the past SIX MONTHS?!

Saying it's my problem to deal with, that I should have listened to her, that's it's my fault?! That she can't come see me not even once?! Because she's has more important things to do??! Fuck! I'm just tired.

I really need to stop thinking about them, those three people I loved so much. But for me to stop completely I need to go, I need to go away from the surface of this earth... So I can have peace and rest.

I check the time, it's 4:25pm, I purposely slept for half of the whole damn day so I can leave the world at dusk.

I haven't been to college since that incident happened because I couldn't just bear to see their faces again and even, I'm totally sure I'm not gonna concentrate on my studies anymore.

Besides, It's quite sad that not even my lecturers asked after me or contacted me to know why I'm not in class! Fuck, people really are cruel and heartless.

I put on flats and a plain white dress I planned on wearing and tied my hair into a messy bun cause I couldn't care less, I'm literally gonna leave this world very soon.

I turn on my phone for the last time to see, see if there's still an ounce of reason to live and enjoy this "beautiful life".... but still nothing, nothing from college, nothing from Charlie Parker, nothing from Khloe Riley, and last of all which is a very big deal to me, nothing from my own. fucking. mother.

After the scene of betrayal I saw that day, I ran from our  apartment and booked a hotel that night to stay because I couldn't just find the strength to talk or take any nonsense from both of them.

Me thinking they were gonna call me, come look for me to explain themselves, which I know I wasn't still gonna hear whatever the bullshit they were gonna say, they both surprised me and never came in contact with me anymore.

I rid the trashy memory from my mind and prepare to go and rest in peace for eternity. I plan on jumping off a bridge in a particular abandoned area in Texas with very less of a soul there.

I have to do it secretly so no one will fucking stop me.

It's not their life, their fucking lucky, bad things doesn't happen to them, they see the beautiful side of life, the side where they do not need to be anxious of having the same nightmare being repeated when they sleep, the side where they don't see their favourite people in the world stab them right in the back, the side where they don't get to be all alone in this fucked up world!

Gosh I really need to go, I need to end this never-ending pain.

I go out of the stupid hotel I've been living in since I couldn't go back to the apartment which I know... Charlie will be there, and maybe even...Khloe.

Now I need to get a fucking taxi to take me to the bridge cause it's literally far away, can't walk on it. This is gonna be hell for me.

Oh my gosh, not even one taxi is stopping for me!! "Umm Hello!!" I wave my hands to the road for a fucking taxi driver to see me. Am I invincible now?!!

After what seemed like one billion years, I finally see a taxi driver stopping towards me. Now I literally have to pretend I'm not depressed and suicidal at the moment. Okay, here I go.