I get in my room and put on music as loud as I can over the screams. I get in my bed. The music is loud, the room is cold because no one cared enough to close the window, the lights are out and my Christmas lights are on. I just sit there. Thinking about the good and bad. About... how happy Will makes me. How I feel when I'm with him. Like no one else is there. And about how unsafe I feel in my own home. Suddenly I feel a cold tear run down my cheek. It's unusual. I've taught myself not to feel any type of emotion anymore. Emotion makes them think you're weak and they like it. I stopped crying when I was 10. That was when my parents were fighting of course and I thought I was tough and went to stop them. Of course, that didn't help and my dad slapped me. I started crying and the yelling kept going. I knew I could stop them. It was just too weak.
I let the music play and closed the lights. The tears kept going. I suddenly fell asleep but not for long. I get woken up by my fantastic mother yelling at me. Guess dad finally did one thing right in his whole life and decided to ignore her. She started blabbing about how my room is a mess and how the only thing I know to do in my miserable life is go anywhere but home and when I am home I put on loud music, ignore everyone, and read as if that is the worst thing happening in my life. I just look at her. Thankfully I'm back to normal and not crying anymore. At one point I don't even realize but she leaves seeing that she's not getting anything out of me. I go to sleep (again) but this time I actually fall asleep.
In the morning it's quiet. It's nice. I open my phone to see what's the hour. 10:22 am, 14 new messages. Weird. I open them. 6 new messages from William, 2 new messages from mom, 3 new messages from Eva, 3 new messages from Vera. I go to see what my mom texts me. It's pretty unusual. She only talks to me if she has to or if she wants to yell at me.
mom
Ivy. Your dad and I have decided to have a little vacation. This will determine if we're gonna divorce or not.
Please for the love of god try not to stay in your room all day.
Well, that was some message. I didn't even reply. I know they are gonna divorce. The bad thing is that I will have to stay with my mom and if she leaves I would have to stay with my dad which is also bad. I can't tell you how excited I am to finally turn 18 and escape this trash fire. One year to go. I go on to the next person who is William.
William
Good morning my love! I wanted to ask you if you would like to go to the bookstore cafe with me when you wake up. 8:56 am
We can hang out at my place after and go together to school. 8:56 am
Also, don't forget to bring your notebook, I wanna see what you're working on. 8:57 am
Hey darling. I don't know if you're mad at me. I'm sorry if I did anything but please respond. I'm worried. 9:34 am
Ivy, I know it's hard at home but I promise everything is gonna be ok. I promise. 9:40 am
Ok, I love you so much. I'm coming over. I have the key. I love you and I hope you're ok. See you soon xx 9:58 am
Seeing his texts makes my heart melt. I get up and go downstairs. The smell of cinnamon rolls and coffee hits me right when I get to the last step.
"You are the most amazing man," I say watching him washing the dishes.
"Morning sleepyhead. Made your favorite breakfast."
I kiss him and hug him tightly. You would think that if I'm dating the guy that every single girl wants would be bad. But he is different.
" I will take that as a *you didn't do anything wrong*," he says kissing my forehead.
We got the coffee and cinnamon rolls and went upstairs to my room. We sat on my bed. He was holding me in a way that felt so comforting and safe. He felt like...home. We started talking and laughing and I realized. Will is the only person I can show my emotions to. He's not gonna judge me or make me feel insecure.
The last time I checked my phone it was 11:42 am. We were watching a series. He was holding me once again so beautifully. My head on his chest, his arm around me. I was scrunching into him like a little ball. His beard on my head and his other hand holding mine. It was so comfortable that I fell asleep.
When I woke up it was like 1:35 pm. He was still watching the series. His hand was in my hair. I was somehow on top of him. His head was still resting on mine and it was so comfortable. When he saw I woke up he kissed my head.
"Well well sleeping beauty don't panic we still have 3 hours till we need to be at school," he says
I slowly get up and look at Will. He looked so gorgeous. His perfect almost touching his shoulder light brown hair and beautiful green eyes.
"Never seen me before?" he says jokingly
"Just admiring you."
"Oh...angel you don't even know how pretty you are when you sleep"
"The prettiest," I say joking
"So what are you gonna wear today?"
"Ugh I wish I could say sweats but I have to dress pretty. I'd rather have to dress up than everyone thinking that something happened. Honestly I hate the fact that I have to go with this stupid role."
"Aww, you don't even want to dress up to go to the ball with me?"
"The ball?? You mean the Roses ball? Like the high school ball?"
"Calm down party girl. Yes, the Roses ball. If you didn't catch it I was shooting my shot."
"Nahhh really? You know. Maybe I can dress up for one more day"
"Ahhh I love you. You know. Let's both dress up in sweats. Who cares?"
"But- you know what fine."
We dress up and go to school. Nothing happens there besides many stares. At the end of our classes, Will drives me home and sleeps at my house. It was the best sleep in a while. I felt so safe in his arms. It felt once again. Like home.
