Gertie

Chapter 20

John stood on Pier 29 watching the waves of the river hit the pilings as a barge went by. He hadn't realized how much he missed the smell of the river, and the sounds of the buoys, until he stood there soaking it all in. He and Sami had gone to look at the house for sale in the River District three days earlier, and John had offered to buy the place out right. He hadn't told Marlena yet, because he had a feeling she was going to be angry that she wasn't included in the decision; however including her, would have meant hours of Marlena trying to convince him that the house cost too much. The look on Sami's face when John had told the realtor that the house was perfect, that look was everything. If he bought it for anything, it would be the look on Sami's face.

    Footsteps sounded on the wooden steps, and John looked over to see Eric approaching, "You're a hard guy to track down."

    "Maybe I didn't want to be tracked down," Eric said. "But Grandma said, if I didn't meet with you and 'sort out my problems' then she would be 'very disappointed'."

    "Sami said you were upset with me, although she didn't give me specifics," John said. "I'm pretty sure I know why, but I'm willing to listen...I don't have any excuses, Eric."

    Eric looked at the man he considered to be his father, and a feeling of loss washed over him. "You left us," Eric said. "Roman came back, and the ISA said he was Roman Brady, but you—you still continued to argue that you were Roman. Sami and I, Carrie too, we depended on you. You were our Dad. You said you were our Dad. We believed you were going to fight for us, and after everyone came back from Mexico...you left. You left us, and you didn't even say goodbye. Do you know what that does to a kid?"

    "I'm sorry," John said softly. "I shouldn't have done that. I—"

    "—Sami said I should let you explain. I should let you tell me what was going on, and that maybe we don't know everything..."

    "I—" John sat on a nearby bench, running his hands through his hair. "Eric, I was so broken. I felt like I had lost everything, and if I stayed in Salem, I felt like I would be reminded of that loss every day...so I ran. I was a coward, and I ran from my pain. It was wrong. I know that now. Hell, I think on some level, I knew that then. At the time, I think Isabella was wanting a fresh start, and she was pregnant, and Roman...Roman was awful. He took everything."

    "But he didn't take us! We still loved you! You were our Dad, and you left us!" Eric yelled. "You left us with Roman! He changed everything! The rules were different, he worked constantly, Mom cried all the time, and tried to hide it from us...then she was—she was taken by Stella, and when she came back..." Eric sat down beside John, and said softly, "When you left, we were forced to try, and make it work with a mother we barely knew, and a father who was angry, and critical of everything. But we tried, we tried to adjust, but after after Mom was kidnapped, we couldn't do it anymore. So, Sami and I went to Colorado. The thing that gets me, though, the thing that makes me so angry, is that even after you left us, the two of you still had an affair, and tore it all to hell anyway!"

    John thought about what Eric was saying, and he was right. John had left, given it all up, only to have an affair with Marlena, which ultimately destroyed whatever precarious family they had created. He should have stayed and fought for them. He should have followed his heart. Looking at Eric, with tear filled eyes, John said, "You're right. I should have stayed. I should have fought for you, and I was so convinced I'd lost everything that I walked away. I didn't trust in your mother's love, and I didn't trust in your love...I'm sorry, Eric. I'm so sorry."

    Eric stared at John. He was so used to people who had excuses for everything. Having someone genuinely regret something, and apologize for it, was surprising to him. Looking at John, he said quietly, "I still love you. You're still my Dad."