Fading Echoes Of Us

day 3

How do you define anger?

They say 'anger' is a strong emotion in which you feel annoyance or displeasure in a person or things.

But the word  anger is not what I felt right now.

I think the word that fits on what I felt right now is 'hatred'.

All heartaches that I experienced before turned into a complete hatred.
To the point that this feeling drown me into the depths and completely no one would be able to help lift me up.

No one couldn't help me...

No one saw it...

Not even a single person saw it..

-Flashback-

I was busy with my school homework when my mom barged in my room. I rolled my eyes. I didn't mind he and still continued what I am doing.

" What the h*ll,  Alexa what did I heard from your sister?" She yelled

I bet his voice also can be heard outside.

I still stayed quiet even though I know she wants to eat me alive right now.

She roughly held my arms that's why
I harshly looked at her.

"What?!"I hissed

I am annoyed of her being so dramatic.

"What a insolent child! You don't talk to me like that!" She hissed

I scoffed.

" Don't you ever dare to hurt my daughter Alexa! Know your place here!" She yelled at me and harshly let go of my hands.

I stumble. But I didn't feel the physical pain that I felt right now.

I am deeply hurt on what she said to me.

I am her daughter too.

But I feel like I'm completely an outcast in this family.

I didn't notice the tears that running down in my eyes.

I am hurting emotionally.

_end_

I am sitting under the shade of the tree, listening to my favorite song.

I didn't even attend on my first class today. I think it's because of what I saw lately when I passed by the pre school.

A mother wiping her daughter's tears.

I silently watch the scene in front me. I wonder, did my mother did this thing to me when I was a child?

Or did she even carry me when I was a baby?

I couldn't help but ask myself. But I realized, all of my what if's are already answered.

I smiled bitterly.

My mom never showered me with love even when I was a kid.

All she love and care is my little sister and half brother. But whenever she see me... All I can see is pure hatred.

I'm always good at hiding my feelings, but sometimes it is always contrary to what I am doing.... Just like now.

I open my eyes, but the first thing that I see is a hand holding a handkerchief.

I frowned and looked up on the person standing in front of me.

My eyes darkened when I met his familiar face.

" Tsk. Wipe your tears, you looked stupid". he said rolling his eyeballs.

At this time of my life, all I want to do is to stabbed his d*mn eyeballs.

_____&_______
Unedited.