JUST A LITTLE LOVE

Four

FOUR

______

•

I sat in between Tig, who sat at the head of the table, and my cousin who kept sharing stories of back home. We were joking and laughing. I wasn't nervous anymore.

"Could you pass the green beans, Alexis?", Colleen asked clearing her throat after she interrupted our conversation.

I stopped before I rolled my eyes and gave her a strained smile as I lifted the green beans and handed them over to her.

"We see you have amazing taste in women," my father spoke up after a few seconds of awkward silence.

Colleen blushed but I quirked a brow in my dad's direction. He was such an asshole for comparing me to my husband's ex. Especially when he knew my marriage was a soft spot for me.

"Thank you, Mr. Addams. You're very sweet."

I felt Tig squeeze my leg as it started to shake like crazy. He knew my mind and the feeling of someone trying to push your buttons because my mother tried to push his buttons most of the time. I took a bite of my food and ignored the burning feeling in my chest.

"Kenny, please." My mom's soft voice broke through the conversation that Colleen and my dad begun. "Alexis, how is business?"

"It's perfectly fine, mama. Chrissie helped me a lot and I can see us stepping into some real profit within a few months."

"Auntie," Chrissie called out. "She has been a great boss and she makes working fun. Plus I get more time to be with my kids."

"Great...", Tanya joked quietly as she stabbed at her food.

I think I did a pretty good job gathering everything from the mashed potatoes, green beans, baked chicken, gravy, and butter rolls. My cooking has been getting better with time since I wanted to be a more present and traditional wife.

"Why would you go into business anywhere near here? The set up would have been better up North," my Dad inputted like he always felt the need to.

"Well, one, my husband and my kids are here. Two, I'm giving being a present person a real shot if you haven't noticed."

"You were supposed to be a nurse, Alexis. Not some hick's housewife at this age. You could have done so much better."

My heart dropped upon hearing how my dad really felt. He continued to kick me while I was down no matter how I honestly tried to show him that I was making the best out of my life.

"Kendrick! Hey, you don't speak to her like that!"

I ignored the silence that fell over the table and threw my fork down.

"I thought having her here would be the straw that broke the camel's back," I snapped in annoyance as I gestured to my ex's wife who smirked at the distress I was being put through. "But it's always going to be you throwing dirt on my life. Making me hate who I've become because you failed your kids. You failed me and you failed Kendrick."

My mother started to interject but I gave her a look that made her think twice.

"You wish it was me that died that night, Dad? You want him to be the innocent man you always thought he was. It would make you feel so much better for your shortcomings in life," I took a deep breath and stood up.

"Sit there on your high fucking horse and tell me I'm the problem child when I was there and you weren't. Just go straight to Hell."

When I left the room, I felt like a weight had lifted from my shoulders. My own father would rather make me feel less of a person than congratulate me for being a stand up person. I was there for my brother more than he ever was or could have been. I didn't need his approval anymore and he was no longer welcome in my life.

The fact that I wasn't crying made me feel just a little bit better.

"Babe, are you okay?", my husband asked quietly and from a distance.

I knew he was somewhat frightened by my emotional outbursts especially when they were towards him and he didn't want to set me off anymore. So to see him come after him totally took me off guard.

"You okay?", I laughed as I saw that he was standing far away.

He slowly came forward.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my nose into his shirt which smelled freshly washed and had just a tiny hint of his cologne.

"Don't beat yourself up. You want me to throw out your dad or anyone else? Cause I can do that for you, Sweetie."

He tried being a sweet husband sometimes and I loved that for him seeing as he started off more than hateful and a little crazy. The fact that he cared more about me than my own father just went to show how out of touch we were as a family.

I ran a hand over my face.

"No, Tiggy. It's fine. Nothing I can't handle," I spoke softly to him as he gazed down at me with his crystal blue eyes shining in the dim lighting. "Go eat and enjoy your daughter and her beautiful daughter. I'm going to be okay."

"She sure is..."

A voice interrupted our talk and I glanced over to see Colleen looking every bit like the cat that got the canary. She smirked at the both of us but I stood firm while Tig's arms tightened even more around me. I didn't know much about her except that my husband still had to pay her some alimony so she was able to keep her condo upstate.

"Tig, please give us a minute." I gestured for him to go back inside. He nodded and gave me one last kiss before walking around Colleen who pinned him with a stare.

"There's no need to be jealous. If I wanted him, he'd still be mine," Colleen antagonized me with her petty statement but I brushed it off.

She was beautiful in her own right but I clearly see why she still wasn't with him.

"Be my guest."

I gestured for her to go back inside and claim what she wished was still hers. She could do whatever she wanted but in the end I wasn't going anywhere and neither were our two beautiful babies sleeping peacefully in their beds. She could try to belittle me in my own home but I knew damn well that she knew that if she could go back, it still wouldn't have been her.

"Look, make all the jabs you want but there's no doubt in my mind that given the choice between you or me. I wouldn't be MY husband's choice. You couldn't keep him then what makes you think you can keep him now."

My laughter came unexpectedly for the both of us and it made Colleen frown. I stepped towards her and she stepped back.

"Enjoy the family time. I'm sure you'll be seeing a lot more of our family."

I walked around her, winking at the shocked expression that fell over her.

When I went back inside, the kids were watching TV and the grown ups were indulging in wine and the dessert my mom had picked out. I joined them taking a seat on my husband's lap and giving him another kiss.

He whispered in my ear as he tried to wiggle his fingers under my dress.

"I see you two love bugs are inseparable!", my mom pointed at us with a look of warning.

"Glad to see my daughter didn't maim you, Colleen," my father handed her a glass of wine and I smirked at the both of them.

She was hurt enough. No need to twist the knife.

The conversation continued quietly as everyone shared stories of their meeting of their significant other which I had to embellish just a little because ours wasn't too traditional. My dad would probably kill Tig if he knew what had happened for us to be together.

Fortunately the night turned better with wine and cake. I don't remember much after seeing everyone out but I know I ended up thrown over my couch by a very hungry, insatiable man.