when i was your man // park sunghoon

일

"Same bed..."

"but it feels just a little bit bigger now"

Sunghoon stands frozen in shock, watching Haewon walking away from him.

He lets out a sigh, and fights his tears. 

He doesn't deserve to cry. He is the one who caused this, and deep down, he knew this very well.

He pauses and looks up to the night's sky, fighting back his tears, the stars barely visible through the fog.

Sunghoon turns the opposite direction Haewon is walking and let his feet carry him wherever they decide.

He walks for tens of minutes, mind blank, before reaching a familiar area.

His school yard stands just meters in front of him, and he stares at it, maybe a little too long.

Before he knew it, he was taken back to the time when he pranked Haewon while she slept during lunch. She chased him around the rest of break. 

Although this was before they dated, this is just a few of the series of moments that led up to them liking one another.

He snaps out of his memories and continues past the school toward the local convenience store. Once again he paused, caught by his reflection of the convenience store's glass door. He didn't fail to notice the sign that read "CLOSED PERMANENTLY"  in bright red, block letters. 

Finally, he felt a tear roll down his cheek, remembering the memories this store brought him. He quickly wipes the tear, not wanting to feel pity for himself.

He should feel bad, but not for himself.

He zones out into the dark, empty store, seeing the counter they'd always sit at.

He wondered if the "K.HW + P.SH Forever <3"  written in marker was still under the table.

He lets out a huff and smiles at the memory...

"Haewon!" Sunghoon whisper yells.

The girl startles awake, "Hm...what?" the girl groggily lets out while rubbing her eyes.

"Come here!" 

She looks around as to reference to what her newly declared boyfriend had just said to her.

She sighs, still half asleep, "There's nothing the- AH!"

That's all she could let out before her entire body being pulled under the counter by her wrist.

Sunghoon only smiles at her mischievously. 

Their proximity makes Haewon's heart race uncontrollably, her eyes wide, and all signs of sleep wiped off her face.

She flinches when instead of either of them closing the gap between them, Sunghoon quickly pulls a permanent marker from his pocke.

He takes Haewon's dominant hand into his, "Let's claim this counter," Sunghoon suggests, placing the marker in her hand.

"But no one will know it's ours,"  she interjects.

"That doesn't matter because we will," he smiles at her, his admiration for her clear in his eyes.

Sunghoon pulls his hand off from her's, his warmth leaving with it, "You write something, your handwriting is nicer," he smiles at her.

A loving smile, a treasuring smile, a trusting smile, the smile of someone who would never hurt the one they 'love'.

K.HW + P.SH Forever <3 

Haewon caps the marker and hands it back to her boyfriend, the feeling they have for each other mutual.

Sunghoon lets out a deep breath he didn't know he was holding, and continues walking.

He soon arrives home to an envelope addressed to him on the doorstep.

It was from a school internationally, his parents had been pressuring him for years to get a better education and strive for more. He always ignored, at first, he had Haewon, then his friends, now not much is holding him back.

Of course, he still has his friends, but they're the same friends that he neglected Haewon by spending all his time and energy with them. Now, every time he looks at them, the guilt will linger as well. The words Haewon said just a couple hours ago ring in Sunghoon's mind...

"Don't come near me, don't contact me or my friends, make it so that it's as if you don't exist."

"Don't come near me."

"Make it so that it's as if you don't exist."

"I don't want to see your face ever again."

He put 11 years of friendship and 2 of romantic love to waste. He treated her like shit for too long. Even if it's seen as a short amount of time by others, his neglect toward her shouldn't have ever started. 

Maybe it's best this way...I'm sorry Haewon...

Sunghoon's cheeks are now stained with tears as Haewon's were the moment she broke up with him. His tears fall onto the envelope, as he emails the sender about entrance exams.

Next Update: December 8, 2022 12:00 AM EST

I hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to vote and comment! Stay healthy and eat well! <3

A/N ~

Well! Happy Birthday Sunghoon!! Technically, when I'm releasing this it should be exactly 12:00 AM in Korea. Is enha even in Korea rn...? idk- i can't keep up.

but happy birthday to the person who's smiles light up the room, who is passionate in everything he loves. Anddddd this is also the first chapter of this fanfic!! 

I hope to be able to release the next chapter on time, i've been really stressed with school and dance. i have a showcase to do tomorrow, and i've been staying after school until 8 all week and going to sleep at 12-1...but i'm trying!!! 

Published: December 7, 2022 (EST)

Edited: July 4, 2023

Other works:

special - nishimura riki

diary - yang jungwon