Drowning Beneath The Waves

Chapter 1

The memory plays over and over in my nightmares, to the point where I memorize even the tiniest details. The glint of sunlight on Mica's auburn hair; the tear streaks on Isla's, Jacob's, and Mom's faces; the love and pride on Jacob's face as he looks at me, then Drew.

His voice is forever implanted in my mind, in my heart. "'Faye, Drew, I love you more than I can say. I couldn't save your mother, but at least now I can atone for my sins.'"

The absolute grief on my face as I glance helplessly at Mom and Dad, pleading with them. Mom's voice is quiet as she shakes her head. "I'm so sorry, honey. But this is the only way."

Drew swims up beside me, gently taking my hand. His expression is a mirror image of Dad's. Mica exchanges a glance with Isla, who in turn glances at Wyatt. Jacob again glances at Drew and me. "I love you both so much."

Wyatt trains his gaze on me, face solemn. "I'm truly sorry, Faye." His eyes shine with what I swear is true sympathy. When Mica glances at me, the message in her eyes is like a dagger in my chest.

Instead of letting the horror, the shock of what she's asking overwhelm me, I take a deep, steadying breath. When I exhale, I push all of my emotions to the very back of my heart where they can't touch me. My eyes are blank, hands steady at my sides as I swim up to Jacob. Bending down, I let my lips linger inches from his ear.

Without letting myself overthink or talk myself out of it, I begin to sing. Squeezing my eyes shut, I never let my voice falter, even as I feel hands gently grip mine. All I know is the music. A tune only I can hear.

Sister Siren, we gather together
From lakes and ponds and seas and oceans
Ready to put our plan into motion
Come one, come all, to the place where it all began
Listen to my voice, heed my call
Come one, come all
Sing our song, sing along

A loud knock on my suite door jolted me from sleep, a scream pushing past my lips. My eyes flew open as I sat up in bed, fear and anxiety smothering me, choking me. I dragged a shaking hand down my face, trying to steady my racing heart. I flinched when the voice spoke up from the other side. "Faye? Are you okay?"

Drew. My heartbeat calmed fractionally as I heard my older brother's voice. Tears filled my eyes, but I hurriedly swiped them away. The last thing I needed was my parents or brother learning about the nightmares. I had enough unwanted attention from the various mermaids and mermen that approached me at least once every day, wanting to hear the 'Siren with the beautiful voice.'

I pushed the covers off and rose from the bed, swimming into the bathing room. I didn't even have the energy to cringe at my reflection. The dark circles under my eyes that even concealer couldn't cover; the blank, lifeless eyes that stared back at me; the overall haggard appearance brought on by reoccurring nightmares and sleepless nights.

When I finally opened the suite door, Drew scanned my face, eyes darkening. "Are you okay? I heard a scream." Concern shone in his eyes, enough that I felt the words forming on my tongue before I'd even opened my mouth.

"I'm fine," I said, trying hard to keep my voice level. Even as I internally groaned at the thought of having to get through the day. At least I had Waverly. My friend had stuck to me like glue since the news had gotten out.

Never mind that I hadn't sung in years, hadn't so much as entertained the thought. Since Jacob's unfortunate death, actually. My heart still hurt when I thought of my birth father, how he had sacrificed his life for me and my brother.

The mere thought of even trying to use my voice again, opening a wound that had just begun to heal, sent me perilously close to a panic attack. Drew noticed, gently taking my hands.

I quickly shook my head, breathing unevenly. The familiar, crushing panic threatened to overwhelm me, consume me. Along with the voices that filled my ears, my heart, my mind. Jacob. "'I love you both so much.'"

Wyatt. "I'm truly sorry, Faye." It was the latter's voice that sucked me under, my vision blurring as I started to fall. A black void swallowed me up, until there was nothing but black and the sensation of falling. I bit down on the urge to scream, forcing myself to remain calm.

It seemed like an eternity had passed when the sensation ceased and the void vanished. I didn't slam into the seafloor, but I had the distinct feeling of gasping, trying to get water into my lungs. I warily looked around, attempting to get my bearings. My bedroom had disappeared. In its place was a large swath of seafloor—one I quickly recognized. This was right outside the Bronze Mermaid.

I whirled around, but I was alone. The front door to the restaurant suddenly opened, a grown mermaid swimming outside. Three other mermaids trailed her. My heart leaped into my throat as I opened my mouth to shout, realizing belatedly that she couldn't hear me. They were all laughing, chattering—until a sudden hush fell over the water.

A merman suddenly swam out in front of them, halting when he noticed the first mermaid. His eyes widened, mouth opening. "Carla?" His voice was barely a whisper.

The mermaid—my birth mother—swallowed hard and took a deep breath. When she exhaled, her face turned to stone, her eyes hard. "What are you doing here?" She asked, not bothering to lower or hide the bite in her voice.

Jacob flinched as if struck, eyes filled with pain. "Please. I—I've been looking for you everywhere. We need to talk." His voice cracked as the last word left his mouth.

Her face paled, but she didn't back down. "I have nothing to say to you."

His next words made her stop dead. "You're a Siren."

The other mermaids gasped, glancing at Carla. Her eyes were filled with quiet anger, hands clenched into fists at her sides. "You listen to me," she said softly, voice hard. "You will not call me that again. Stay out of my life."

He shook his head as she turned to leave, gently grasping her wrist. Her eyes widened as she looked down at his hand. When she met his own, they were wide, pleading. "Please, Carla. I—I know I've made some mistakes, and I'm truly sorry. Please."

Fear flashed across Carla's face, gone as quickly as it came. With that, my vision faded to black. When I opened my eyes again, the tears came before I could so much as open my mouth. Drew's worried eyes met mine, face pale and drawn.

Mom and Dad were on either side of him, identical expressions on their faces. "Faye? Honey, are you okay?"

A ringing noise filled my ears as the aforementioned panic attack returned with a vengeance. Clawing at my throat, I struggled to breathe. I was choking. I was drowning, unable to keep my head above water. Sweat ran down my face, poured into my eyes.

After what felt like an eternity, it finally ceased. I inhaled a lungful of water, gasping. Tears filled my eyes, blurring my vision. How did Jacob know that my birth mother had been a Siren? I would have assumed she'd have kept it a secret.

I let my head drop into my hands, pain shooting through it as I closed my eyes. Dimly, I felt hands on me. Lifting me off the ground, leading me back to the bed. Pulling the covers over me, smoothing the sweaty hair off my face. Featherlight kisses were placed on my forehead, one at a time. I felt a hand squeeze mine, another kiss be placed on my head.

When I finally heard the door shut, I cracked my eyes open. The tears began anew.

Conflicting emotions crashed over me like rogue waves, leaving me stunned when they faded. Anger; sadness; anxiety; pain; grief. As my eyes closed yet again, exhaustion slowly crept up on me. I let it swallow me whole, craving that oblivion. Even as one final thought lodged in my head, taunting me. Why had she kept that from us?

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