Where Is The Freedom That I Yearned?(XiaoVen au)

Chapter 3:Fear

"Me? Scared? I don't get scared, what made you think that?"

"Well I think  that you do get scared, everyone does."

"Everyone? I don't... I don't think so."

"Ooo I do think so. Even if you don't feel them, they're right there, feelings are feelings, you can't suppress them or cancel them. Just like me, I can produce feelings, for example, I love you! I love you as a friend! We'll not really..."

"You love me... as a friend? A friend..."

"You haven't have a friend before?"

"I... I don't think I have one..."

"Well, still I believe you're afraid of something."

"I... I think so too, eversince your loud mouth is always talking, I, I don't wanna make you shut up. What are those feelings again?"

"Hmmmm, I think, pfft no way, you don't love me right?"

"Love? Hmm, love... that's a new word, I don't think I love you. When you said I love you as a friend, I felt..."

"Touched?"

"Yes, touched, I, I haven't felt that in a long time."

"Hehe, now you felt it! It feels good to have a caring slave here right?"

"Not really, oh, right I wanted to tell you."

"Hm?"

"Since I'm your owner now, you do anything I say."

"Back to the moody Alatus now? Hmph, that's fast."

"I don't care now go back to bed I don't wanna deal with you for today."

"You said you would tie me up just make me shut up where is the rope now?"

"Do you want to shut up or not, and is that what you want?"

"Nope, perhaps you go to bed aswell, you look tired and all."

"Fine, I'll sleep just for today. And just for you." I whispered the last so he couldn't hear it

"Awww thank you, now yu can sleep peacefully."

After I changed I went straight to bed next to Venti, we didn't have extra bed since I sleep by myself most of the time

Having Venti around gave me a calm sense, thinking this is making me sleep

"Goodnight Alatus, sweet dreams."

Sweet dreams... I haven't heard that in a long time

"Goodnight to you too Venti, sweet dreams too."

Dreams. Dreams are a curse, my friends, my family... They're gone... Where are they? Where are you?

They left me here alone in the dark until I met you, you were someone who might understand me, who'll love me who I am

But when will you love and understand me? Your eyes... They're pretty... just like the azure sky and the sea, they calm me

Whenever you talk to me, your voice is calm, it's addicting, I love your voice, they're like music

Music that can heal me from the past

Your hair... They're like your eyes... black and teal, just like mine

***** I'm scared

I'm scared I might lose you, where is the Wind God who saved an Adeptus in fairytales. Do they exist?

I believe not

They're just fairytales, the Wind God once said to a traveler about his dear friend

"Fly fly away, like a bird in the sky, see on my behalf and the heavens you may fly."

Will I soar in the sky? Will I have my Freedom?

No, I don't have my Freedom, I'm a bird but no wings, they're cut off, I can't soar in the sky like you, ***** or so called ********.
Do I deserve to be free like you?

"-Tus. Alatus!"

"What! You disturbed me!" I screamed when he woke me up

"I-i'm sorry but um." He said nervously

"Well you were frowning when I woke up and you were sweating and moving nonstop, so I just-um got worried..."

I was sweating and moving nonstop? Since when, Lord Rex doesn't even see me like that

"And you were starting to cry so I got even more worried and decided to wake you up..." he cut my thoughts off and continued

"Venti- I-" I tried apologizing but he cut me off again

"Don't worry about it, I might think that your dream is worse but um I'll try to help you with it." He said cutting my apology

"I'm sorry I screamed at you, I just- I just couldn't bring myself to care at that time, especially losing someone like you." I said whispering every last part about him

"Oh... it's fine really! I didn't mean to wake you up." He said giving me a sad looking smile face

I got quite feel bad about shouting at him

"Venti"

"Hm? What is it?"

"Can you come closer?"

"Huh? Why?"

"Just, do it."

"O-ok..."

When he came closer I hugged him, I hugged him so hard that he can't get away

He's warm, his warmth is what I seeked for a long time, the warmth full of love

I was scared I couldn't find this kind of warmth before... I was scared I might lose this again

"Um Alatus...? Are you okay? You're um hugging me so hard I can't breathe."

"O-oh uh, sorry." Taking my arms off him

"It's fine It's fine, you wanted a hug right?"

I nodded and he hugged me again

"You haven't felt this for a long time haven't you? You've been so lonely even Gods won't gaze upon that poor soul of yours. They don't care don't they?"

I nodded again getting what he mean't.

"Ehe, I get what your feeling right now. Whmy father ruled Mondstadt, he didn't like Morax at all, they're total opposites, my father, Barbatos loved me, until he disappeared. After he disappeared, my feelings were like his, the way I acted, the way I spoke, everything about me felt like his actions. My father was a serious man, he loved me, he loved my mother as much as he loved the city, until Morax attacked Mondstadt, my father was furious and went to face him by himself, until then, he was gone. My mother died due to her illness, I became like my father at that time, serious like a spy or an agent, I didn't now my ability, but I know my father manifested Anemo, I don't know mine and it went like this for many years. It was over 2000 years ago, and I didn't grow old, I got confused, and then I realized my father doesn't age also, I grew suspicious of him and took a peek at myself, it was the same, I didn't grow a single age, the same age as my father, everlasting youth. I came to the conclusion that I'm like a successor or a reincarnation of my father somewhat like that but I still don't wanna focus on it. My father is a God, the God of Freedom or so called The Wind God."