Wicked in Love

Chapter 11 - because

Dedicated to @foodmademedoit ❤️

Cameron

A week earlier...

The two quick impatient raps on my office door has me smiling in front of my computer screen. I lean back against my chair and pretend not to hear it.

I close a file, open another, and reach for a folder where I kept paperwork from my last project. Tax season is coming, and it's a bitch to get everything in order.

She lets out an impatient sigh. "Cameron Jeremiah Saint Laurent."

I struggle to keep my focus on the screen. She lets out a growl. I know what's coming next and smile in anticipation. I let out a grunt as she climbs on my lap. She holds my face with both her hands, leans forward so that she is all I can see.

"Hi," Kara says.

I go crazy when she says this. "Hello."

"I'm bored. Come play with me."

"I'm working."

She flattens her palms on the sides of my cheeks and presses so that my mouth turns into an O.

"Okay, now say that again."

I do, and she laughs.

"How come you can never look ugly no matter what face you make?"

I kiss her. One quick taste of her lips. I want more, but she props her elbows on my shoulders and winds her fingers in my hair.

"I want a veggie burger."

I want more of her and she tells me all she wants is a veggie burger.

"You want me to stop working so we can get you a veggie burger."

She smiles, a little shyly this time. "And a drink."

"And a drink. Anything else?"

"We can get you some too."

I laugh. "Well, thank you."

But she doesn't move. Instead, she plays with my hair, looks at me in a way that only she can.

And it hits me right away. This is a dream. I know because she hasn't looked at me like that in a long, long time.

She looks at me with eyes that hold everything I long for without knowing I long for them.

Some days it feels like I'm living my life in a war zone, and the only peace I ever have is when she looks at me that way. Just in that way of hers.

This woman holds my whole world in her hands. And I'd give up my whole world so she can have hers. Even if it meant without me in it.

In her sleep, she tells me she loves me. I know I have a twisted way of looking at it. Others have told me they love me. But Kara loves me in a different way. She loves me in a way I don't understand. She loves me in a way that no one has before. But I take it. I take it because I feel like I'm going to die without it.

Life is fucking cruel. Because even in this dream, I know she doesn't feel that way for me anymore. But I keep going with it. I don't want this dream to end.

"Cam."

"Hm?"

"I love the way you look at me."

"How am I looking at you?"

"I don't know. I just know no one has looked at me this way before."

"Tell me, Kara."

She looks at me for many moments without saying anything. "It feels like... you'll never leave me. That you'll stay with me for the rest of my life and for the rest of yours. And that you want that too."

But something is wrong. She looks far away from me now. I reach for her but she is out of my reach. I can't stop it. I can't fucking stop it.

"Kara. Don't go. Don't go without me."

There's a storm gathering around me. I don't want her to be around when it comes, but even knowing that it's hard to let her go. I feel like I'm breaking myself into pieces. It hurts.

"Cam, talk to me."

Suddenly I see Kara. She's at the bottom of the stairs, lying unconscious. In my hands I see blood and a small gun. I scream, but my voice is gone.

Raven crouches in front of me. She looks younger than I remember her. Her eyes look mad.

"You did it for mommy, Cameron."

I deny it.

But she keeps repeating, "You did it for mommy."

I woke up.

A/N: Please make me smile and click the star at the bottom of your screen!

I cried writing this. When I write a sad chapter, it's normal for me to feel miserable and sad or feel like crying, same as what my character is feeling, but I rarely cry. This one hits different.

Originally, I was just going to write a happy dream for Cameron, but I couldn't stop Raven from appearing. The chapter felt incomplete without her, so I gave in and added her. Maybe that's why I cried. It was such a happy moment between Kara and Cameron, and it had been too long since I wrote them like this, and it felt so good. And I ruined his dream. He was so happy with Kara there. Shit. I'm so sorry, Cam. I will make it up to you someday.

Also, there is a continuation of this chapter that I have written already, but it's so far from done. I feel like it might take me a few days to write it, so I thought I'd give you this now. Because tbh? I wanted to share this with you as soon as I can, wondering if you'll feel the same way I did.

Happy weekend, loves! Any plans? I like spending time alone--sometimes a little too much, I think. I'm happier doing things by myself or spending a lazy day off with my man. But this weekend, I might go out with friends. I hope you enjoy yours.

Question: Do you enjoy doing things alone or do you prefer spending time with others?

Follow me on Instagram @isabelleronin for sneak peeks.