You Are My Shelter

Chapter 21

He did his best to leave the house like a civilized person, but as soon as the door fell close behind him and he left the front yard behind, Kenma started to run.

It was the first time that he ran to school without Kuroo dragging him along; the pounding desire of getting distance between himself and his parents was motivation enough for his legs to carry him faster.

Kuro. It was the only thing on his mind, the only thing he longed for while everything else was nothing but a jumbled mess.

At some point, Kenma stopped running. His breath shaking uncontrollably, he tightly wrapped his arms around his torso.

How did he dare to hope that everything would be fine just because the misunderstanding between him and Kuroo was solved? How could he ever be so stupid to expect the things his parents told him for the last seventeen years would simply be forgotten just because... Kenma didn't even know why he expected this to be the case.

The first tear fought its way over his cheek, leaving a burning trace of shame. He should have been prepared. He could have predicted all of this and braced himself. But instead he had chosen to stay oblivious and ignored all of the obvious signs, indulging in the illusion of a perfect world.

At least he had those last seven months with Kuroo. This was better than nothing, right?

The words of his parents echoed in his mind. The whole first year of high school no one would have thought something wrong about you. You and Tetsurou, you met like all other friends do too, you didn't touch each other all the time or did those other embarrassing things. But now, all's back to how it used to be.

If he had just paid more attention to the situation, to what his parents would think and how they would react when he and Kuroo finally cleared things up between each other back in January. He wouldn't be in this situation now. He wouldn't have to marry Shirobi right after his graduation.

The thought made his head spin. The words sounded so surreal, so wrong. His parents just couldn't be serious with this. This wasn't how things should go these days. But even if he refused, it would just make his parents look bad in so many ways. Kenma couldn't destroy everything they had worked for all those years.

Maybe he could somehow make it work with Shirobi. It was just a stupid contract, anyway, right? It didn't hold much meaning. Just dumb words written on paper, he could do this. He had to.

Looking at it objectively, Kenma knew that it was the best option for every person involved; his parents, Kuroo and also himself. Marrying Shirobi was the right decision to help everyone. It was.

When Kenma entered the schoolyard, he had calmed himself down enough to gain back the control over his breathing. Without hesitation his feet carried him to the gymnasium, the sounds of balls hitting the ground already echoing loudly.

Unnoticed by his team, he walked through the doors, bowing apologetically to the coaches to excuse his late arrival, and disappeared into the changing rooms before the others could see him.

There were two sides in him, rivaling each other. One wanted to stay between these lockers and not ever be found again, but the other was longing for comfort, to just bury his face in Kuroo's shirt and let him deal with all the stuff happening.

But then, guilt started to creep up inside of his chest, squeezing it tightly and threatening to complicate his breathing again. This isn't Kuro's place to take care of things—especially not the ones that would backfire as soon as one tried to approach them. No, this was Kenma's problem, and he could deal with it—he didn't have much of a choice.