"That Girl"

I'm that girl.

The girl that smiles when she wants to frown.

That girl who laughs when she wants to cry.

The girl whose head is up high when she wants it down.

The girl that keeps herself together when she wants to fall apart.

The girl that has it hard and no one else knows.

The girl that will love all hearts but have hers broken.

That girl that has only discovered a good friendship within the last two years.

The girl that laughs hardest at her own jokes when no one else does.

The girl that has very low standards in what she wants in a lover because she had her heart broken by her previous boyfriend.

The girl that will never leave your side when you need her.

The girl that will go out of her way to cheer you up when you feel like shit.

She is the kind of girl that believes in love even after everything that has happened to her.

The girl that hides a thousand different feelings behind one smile.

The girl that was pushed around by their mother because of something that happened to her.

The girl that has bottled up all the pain and suffering she has gone through in the last few months and just cried because the pressure was getting to be too much.

The girl that listens to the exact same song over and over again because she is worried about being judged by others.

The girl that felt she had to be the rock for everyone she knew, taking on tasks that a 14 year old shouldn't have to worry about.

The girl that was the rock for everyone but then after, they all said that no one was there for them and that she should have been more considerate.

The girl that couldn't hold in the tears at school because she was "easy to bully".

The girl that felt confident and pretty only to be told to shut up constantly and that she was ugly.

The girl that had an opinion only to be told that she was only 14 and a girl, and that girls her age shouldn't have an opinion on that subject.

The girl that put her hand up to answer a math question only to be called a nerd and then be called Einstein while literally failing math.

The girl that couldn't be left alone by the disturbing thoughts in her head.

The girl that wishes she could tell someone everything without being judged at all.

The girl that wished she was free to date whoever she wanted without her parents hating her lover.

The girl that broke her former boyfriends heart one night because of something she said, not knowing it would hurt him like it did.

The girl that was told that she had to love her partner before herself by her ex and that she wasn't the important part of the relationship.

The girl that has gone through too much trauma and stress within the last 4 years.

The girl that wished she could re-live her life without all the toxic shit she went through.

The girl that wishes she could just delete everyone's memories and wipe her from all of them.

The girl that wishes she hadn't been so out going and should have just become a mute girl.

The girl that had to go to therapy because of some shit that happened 2 years ago.

The girl that has such serious issues that people take it all as a joke and constantly mock her for "speaking out about the truth that obviously didn't happen".

The girl that gets told to "kill yourself" by two girls in class that keep calling her a racist.

The girl that is afraid to speak up about all this stuff because of being judged.

The girl that had to leave her mother while she was screaming and crying, not because of her, but because she was in too much pain to talk let alone walk around.

The girl that had her mother get driven to hospital in an ambulance while her sister was meant to look after their mum alone.

The girl that wonders on a daily basis weather her boyfriend loves her as much as she loves him.

The girl that doesn't ever want to be alone with her mum because she is scared about what would happen and her mums mood at the time.

The girl that wished her dad was always there so that her mum would always be in a happy mood to her and her sister.

The girl that wishes that her dad would make the time to come see her instead of hanging with his new girlfriend.

The girl that wishes she could fit in with all the popular girls at school.

The girl that wishes she could just have a normal life.

The girl that is constantly told in a daily basis that she acts like a two year old.

The girl that has literally held a knife to her chest in contemplation of taking her life.

The girl who wishes her dad wouldn't be such an ass and maybe make an effort to be apart oh her life.

The girl that wishes her life could be normal for once.

The girl that wants to have a good relationship with her step dad, but tries to not get attached in case he ruins her family again.

The girl that hides behind a mask of happiness and laughter in fear of being called weak. But if you take that mask off, she's just a broken child that has gone through the type of shit that an adult would have a fit over saying that they want to die and then they would quite literally kill themselves. But that girl has a lot riding on her. Not knowing what the future holds for her.