True Destiny

1. Introduction

It is hard to live without my father, 5 years today. I didn't see him since. Mum always being busy in her 24 hour shift, where she works in a private office and me suffering from depression. I wake up at night and scream in my pillow, the next thing, our house maid rushing into my room and hugging me tight until I fall asleep again. It happens to me whenever I think of the past, which is everyday.

Our house maid, Emilia is my only hope. She is like my mother. I love her more than anyone else, since she Is always with me, everywhere and anywhere, everyday. I finished secondary school 6 years ago with a certificate, different than anyone else stating I got the best results in my Leaving Cert. I got into a college studying medicine to become someone better in life. To get a good job and good money, to take good care of my future, and my family. To benefit from what I am learning now and to use it later in life. From the day my dad left my mum, I go through depression really bad and my life is falling apart. At least I have really good friends that always cheer me up, they are not just best friends, but all I could ever have. We treat each other like a close family and I love spending all my time with them. But Emilia is just the best person that could ever be around me.

I have been diagnosed cancer at the age of 16. At this age Emilia was the person that always sat down in the hospital with me in the waiting room and beside my bed when I got really ill that I landed in the hospital. I had one operation on my left lung. I took many chemo-theraphy chemicals and was relieved when I got through the pain. The cancer was cut out successfully, but the fear of dying was killing me. Of course, mam spend some time with me in the hospital after the operation, but had to go back to work because of some important project going on in her office work.

-"I'm sorry darling, I would stay longer with you but unfortunately my boss wants me back before afternoon. I love you" she always used to say.

- It's ok mam, the nurses will keep me busy. I love you too.

I said back in my bright smile even though I knew that I will probably spend the rest of the day just sitting on the bed doing nothing. I wish she could stay longer beside me holding my hand tightly as she always does. She is a loving mother but spends too much time in her 'important' work. To be honest, she is doing this for us; to have money and good future for us. Someone has to take care of us including Emilia.

Mam pays her money to do jobs around in the house and she even lets her sleep in the guest room next to my door. But I feel as if Emilia is doing this not for money, but for the love in our caring house. We both love each other like a mother and daughter.

This year is my graduation year in college, where I get to wear this funky-nerdy suit at the end of the year and receive my certificate. But there is still half a year, probably more than 180 days left still, to the end of my college year, which is taking ages. But most importantly, I love what I do In college, and definitely using my knowledge somewhere in a hospital, in a beautiful country, where I will marry a wealthy man, and live happily ever after. If I reach my target and find a man. The true love of my life.

I have been dating a gentleman for 3 months but broke up soon after my diagnosis. He couldn't stand changes in my emotions and my depression. He tried all he could, to make me feel happy with him, but gave up. I don't think he even loved me. I wasn't sad when we broke up, just felt sorry for him being this type of person that brakes up with girls in hard life situations. To be honest, I didn't want him to stay in a relationship with me, for being constantly ill. I still talk to him sometimes on social media. He went to Germany two weeks ago, after getting a scholarship for the German language. He loves this language and I think he might even stay there and not come back. I have spoken to him lately, and he found a job as a German-English translator. The money is flowing. I got back to myself fast after the breakup because I knew there were other things to worry about. He used to visit me at home sometimes to see if I am feeling well. He knows he did wrong and apolagised to me so many times. I guaranteed him that our relationship would not work out.

I am older now but I still go to the hospital once a time, for a check if everything is ok. I am feeling very well from the end of all the chemo onwards, and I got my hair grown back. Emilia even says my hair will be longer than hers soon if I don't cut it. But it is not even long, like a bit further than my elbows. My hormones are too high and my body has too much tissues developing. This causes visable hair all over my body. I cant do anything about it, even tablets don't help but this is just a little problem of mine.

Only Emilia and my mother know most about my health problems. I don't tell much to my friends, its not like I don't want them to know, but I don't want them to suffer with me. They are very caring friends and would stay up all night crying with me.

   - Annie! - Emilia comes running into my door. - Hunny are you alright? You were crying again. Its okay pet, its okay- She said in a relaxing, calming down voice.

Was I sleeping? was I daydreaming? who knows. But all of the thoughts about my father came back. Its like a horror movie scene, pausing for a minute and then going from the start, again and again. Emilia was hugging me tightly with care in her soft, pale arms. After five minutes she kissed my forehead warmly and asked if I would like to eat something as lunch will be ready soon. I got out of her arms and sat up beside her on my bed. I smiled and went downstairs with her to the kitchen.

   -I will help you with lunch Mialla- I said in a happy voice.

   -Oh no Annie, I should be making lunch not you- She said politely

   - Emilia, we are a family and I should help with things, just like you help me when I am sad.

She smiled to me with her beaming smile as I began to gather up some green vegetables. She found a medium sized pot and poured water, 3/4 of the pot. She took it out of the sink and then all of a sudden she slipped. I caught the last moment of her collapsing on the ground, water splashing in the direction of the kitchen. In a shock I ran up to her trying to get her up hastily. There I ended up slipping and falling on top of her. We both laughed hysterically. I sat up beside her and stood up rapidly.

   - I'm sorry Annie, so sorry. - she said in a dismal voice.- I will clean it all up.

   - Emilia, don't worry about it! It was an accident that could happen to anyone. It was funny when we both fell. Are you okay?

   - I'm soo sorry. And yea I'm alright.

   - Just don't flood the house- I said in  a joke form but it seems as if she took it in seriously.

I went to get the mop while she sank towels with water. Through the rest of the day, I could see she walked around the house, unhappy after what had happened. I hugged her guaranteeing her that there is nothing to worry about.