[fanfiction] - Adam Carlson's POV of the Love Hypothesis

grapevines

"So, interesting piece of information has reached my ears." Holden is - again, I might add - chewing on something while talking to me. This time it's even more offensive, since we're not even in the right environment for eating. Because my lab is a definite no-eating-zone and Holden knows that. Probably the reason he shoved a four-bite-worthy piece of ham sandwich in his mouth before entering. 

The problem is evident: I already know, what he is going to tell me. 

It's fair to assume that I'm not the kind of person who enjoys gossip. Because I really don't. Even in the circumstance I would be able to overhear another one's conversation, something that has - weirdly enough - happened a couple of times already, I turn deaf - because I really, honestly don't care. 

That said, I have to admit this deafness does cure itself in a milisec if the piece of gossip I'd overhear would contain Olive Smiths name. 

Yet, it never has. 

Until yesterday. 

Yesterday, when I - after a long exhausting day full of people looking at me even more funny than they usually do - overheard the most juicy gossip about Olive Smith. 

And me. 

Mentioned in one breath. Her name and mine. 

About us DATING. 

I really had to bite my tongue, when I coincidently eavesdropped on two Ph.D. students. Both absolutely foreign to me - I don't even know their names, yet, they know mine and they talked about me and Olive in a way, that made my hands turn into fists and my jaw started to clench. Biting on my tongue to avoid giving away my sheer presence, I stood there in their hindsight, while they were busy talking about 'that one girl of Dr. Aslans lab' 'the one , who's friends with Malcolm' and who's, in their words 'dating Doctor tyrant'

Which, I assume, would be me, although, while I knew a had a lot of awful nicknames, Doctor Tyrant was a new one (also, those were no students of mine, so why should that be their concern?)

But it was their concern, they did know about Olive and me, although I have no clue why, except I kind of do: I assume, Olive-proclaimed best friend Anh Pham just went right there out the lab through the westside exit after meeting with Olive and me and spread the word to - I strongly assume based on all the even-more-strange-than-usual-looks I gained today - everyone. 

What a friend. 

On Olive's behalf, I get really, really angry and maybe it is showing on my face right now, because Holden - I forgot he's here for a second - looks at me with dawning realization glistening in his eyes. 

"You already heard." His voice is low and full of surprise. I don't act like I didn't know what he is taking about. I don't pretend. Not with Holden. 

"It's her." It leaves me in one rushed burst of breath, deflating my chest, actually deflating my whole appearance. It takes Holden a splitsecond. And maybe, since he's Holden and way smarter, than he acts around others all the time, he would eventually find out by himself, what I meant by that, but right this moment I lose patience and add: 

"The girl from my restroom."

Holden freezes. All movements stop, even the glistening in his eyes, which should be impossible. Then he falls into motion, into words and action. Actually sputters more than he ever did. 

"the - the - expired lenses girl???" He skrieks, that's what he does and I haven't heard that tone from him since we were seventeen and his - 

"Adam!" He all but shouts and I raise my shoulders. In defense, since I think, I kind of know, what's coming. And i'm right. The glistening in Holden's eyes turn to sheer wonder. 

"Oh, Adam. That's great. That's actually - is there a greater word than great?" It's right here, on a silver platter. The opportunity to come clean and tell my best friend the truth. The whole truth, which is me NOT dating Olive Smith. Which is me, only appearing to do so, because SHE wants this delusion to make her friends happy. Which I scolded her for. 

And I am exactly doing the same. 

What a hypocrite I am. 

I turn and look back at my stack of paperwork. Rearranging some files, plopping a pen back into the pen holder. I would probably start swiping away invisible lint too, just to avoid Holden's gaze. 

I WANT to fib. To my very best friend, because I have to best of intentions. 

And it takes me by surprise, something, I haven't anticipated would be possible, but right now, right this second, I feel even more connected, more drawn to Olive than I already did. 

Suddenly I can see her even more clearly. 

And maybe Anh Pham doesn't deserve Olive Smith's  cover-up tactics. 

But Holden does. 

He's my best friend and there is no way how to rationally explain this, but I feel it deep in my bones: He deserves to be lied to. 

"Technically were not really dating." I deflect, still letting my hands wander above surface to find invisible lint. Avoiding Holden's gaze. 

Which is the truth, yet, it's still lying by omission and I know that. 

"But you - you." He still sputters and then, after one very deep inhale, so deep, I can actually hear him sucking in air, he continues: 

"But you will. Ask her for a date?" 

And I'm kind of surprising myself with feeling instantly better, that he had asked the one question, I could actually answer honestly. 

"I guess, I do."