Hearts of Black

Chapter 22: The Eerie Calm

"I am so fucking stupid!"

Adele had been walking for what seemed like forever. She was cold, having left her jacket on the floor of Max's room. Her feet hurt because flip flops were a dumb choice for a midnight stroll, and she was starving, her baby deciding that now was a good time for food. Her stomach grumbled, and she paused next to a street sign to catch her breath.

She had left Max's house with no plan but to get away from him. Why she had thought she needed to leave that moment was beyond her yet, there she was, no more than a mile or two down the road from his house, not a light or sign of human life to be found. Emotionally drained, she slumped against the sign and tried her hardest not to cry again. Every few moments had seemed like a reason to cry. She felt hollow inside. She was nothing without him, and he would be nothing with her around. Her selfish desires for happiness were barely enough to keep her going. She wanted to die, cast herself into the ditch and waste away. She needed him in her life. She couldn't raise her baby without him around; she didn't know how to. She didn't know what to do, and as her face flushed with shame, she didn't know how she was going to find the strength to crawl back to him.

Sitting on the cold ground was enough to make her shiver, and she looked back the way she had come. At this literal crossroads, she had only a few options. Face the deep dark unknown that lay on the path forward, or turn back to the endless pit of despair that threatened to devour the only thing that had shown her true love in this world. Left or right weren't options. One would lead her back into the arms of her estranged lover, and although Earrin would welcome her into her home, Adele couldn't stomach the thought of explaining her recklessness to yet another member of the Max fan club. The other, like the path home, was devoid of hope. That path would lead to her doom or great risk to her child. She might find sanctuary but being entirely at the whim of fate to see her through.

Home. Earrin. Fate. Max. Her choices stood before her, and for the life of her, she didn't know what to choose. No option felt right. No path held a light at the end of its tunnel. All she could see, hope for, and expect was pain. With her heart and soul broken, she buried her head in her hands and wept.

Jasmine didn't know what to do. Her first instinct was to wake Max and let him go after Adele. He would bring her back; he could always turn them away from self-destruction. But Jasmine didn't want that. She had heard everything that Adele said and knew her to be right. Adele was Max's worst enemy. His sympathy towards her had blinded him to reason, and he had paid for his philanthropy with blood. She couldn't put him in that position again. With Adele gone, Jasmine would have Max all to herself. They could be a couple again, unburdened by Adele's problems.

Max wouldn't be the same, however. Jasmine was keen enough to understand that. As much as she didn't like it, Adele made Max happy- not like Jasmine did, but happy, nonetheless. Could she really deny him that? She loved him, more than anything, and if he knew that she had let Adele go off into the night by herself, would he ever forgive her? Jasmine doubted it. Whatever hold Adele had over him, it was potent, and no amount of groveling and submission would make up for the loss he would feel, or the anger he would have, or the blame he would rightfully put on her.

He was snoring, curled up next to her, his warmth inviting her to stay with him, snuggled up, safe and secure. But their friend was in crisis, and despite all of her reservations, Jasmine had to do something. She didn't know how she was going to do it, but she needed to bring Adele back to him.

Jasmine slowly worked her way out of the bed, carefully moving as to not disturb Max. She grabbed his robe, threw it over her shoulders, and tied it tight. It was cold outside; she could tell by the water crystals forming on the edges of his bedroom window. She stumbled around the room, looking for her shoes and his keys. She knew he would be pissed off that she drove his car, but her need was great, and having two people exposed to the elements made the thought of some bodywork to his car inconsequential. She crept down the stairs and out into the brisk night. It had gotten colder since Adele had left, it seemed, as Jasmine could see her breath.