ethereal

friendless loser

billie

"i'm billie by the way," i mention to her as we walk side-by-side to our next class. "rue," she replies boredly, slipping a pair of sunglasses on. "odd name," she questions.

"i could say the same to you."

she smirks in response. we climb a set of stairs and continue walking to legal studies.
"so, a morning smoker? haven't met one of them before," i subtly try to begin a conversation. "i smoked one blunt. i'm barely even high," she replies. i scoff.

"your eyes say otherwise,"

she smiles lightly, genuinely. she has a pretty smile. "i like your style. it's unique," she gives me a small smile in return. "not much of a talker?"

"sorry, i'm tired as fuck to be honest."

"i can tell ms. eye bags." she lets out a loud laugh. "you're gorgeous," i blurt out stupidly. rue freezes, not knowing how to respond. eventually, she speaks quietly

"thank you. so are you."

a smile creeps onto my lips as i hide my blush.

"where'd you come from? you're new right?" she prompts a conversation. "i was homeschooled most of my life, but my mom decided i can do my last two years at a real school. she kinda just wanted me to make friends i think. i'm kinda friendless," i reply. she snickers so i push her playfully. "shut up, i don't see any of your friends around."

"well consider me your first friend."

—

legal studies was boring as fuck so rue put her headphones in and fell asleep at the desk next to me. as she slept, i noticed her sleeves riding up her arm. her arm was painted with scars, some old, some fresh, as well as bandaids. my heart broke on the spot. the teacher approaches us, so i quickly pull her sleeve up to hide the scars for her.

the teacher, ms wiseman, removes a headphone from rue's ear. "c'mon sweetie, it's the first day," she says kindly. "i don't want you getting into any more trouble this year rue. please keep your head up for me?" rue nods, obviously exhausted, and i feel awful for her. i barely know her and i can already tell she's struggling.

after the teacher leaves, i turn to say something to rue, but she looks worryingly pale. "have you eaten anything today rue?" i question. she scoffs and rolls her eyes. "you sound like my mother."

"well, you look really pale, i'm just worried about you."

"don't be, i'm fine."

she goes back to typing on her laptop like we're supposed to be doing. i was just trying to help her? why did she refuse it straight away? i remember the rumours i heard about her when i got here in the morning.

"rue tried to kill herself last year. she's insane, she didn't come to school because she got admitted into some insane ward."

"she's always been crazy, let's be honest."

"she's a psycho, i don't know why she came back."

i was unsure who rue was when i heard these rumours, but now i feel bad for automatically believing them. i wonder if they're true.