Elizabeth Olsen and I

Chapter 1

I have lived all my life being the quote on quote "fat girl", I spent the whole of 3rd term and summer break getting myself into shape. I didn't want anyone to know about it because I know the nasty comments that will follow. 3rd term was the perfect time because everyone is focused on studying for the November/December exams. I also joined a cheer club during the time I was fixing myself up-mentally and physically-, yeah I know very weird for South Africa to have a cheer club but it does. I've been doing good and have met a lot of friends in cheer. Most of them are older. Only Lilith and I are the youngest. Well this year we are turning 15 and in grade 10. (Sophomore year). We all go to different schools.

Which gets us to today. This is the 3rd month into school. I guess a few people have noticed but I doubt they would even say anything because I am the social outcast. But I do have about 4 friends that I trust.

Today is Thursday and we have Phys Ed the last period. I have been thinking about it a lot. It's only so many times I can get a demerit for not wearing a proper sports kit.

The beginning of the day was fine I guess. It's just so sad and pathetic that I always socialize with people that don't even want to be around me.

That's what you get for being too much of a try hard.

Okay first of all shush your ass, and I never even asked you. Damn consy.

Ever since I read 'The Act of Innocence' I've been calling this parasite consy.

I'd watch your mouth if I were you.

Yeah, yeah sorry.

I walked into the school gates feeling rejuvenated. This is the day, the day that I show my friends. I mean the guilt has been eating me up a lot.

"Hey guys." I said as I took a seat by our usual spot.

"Oh hey." "So we were thinking about going to the movies tomorrow after school." One of them said.

"You know I would love to so much, but my parents have some important thing to do in Cape Town and I have to go with them tomorrow after school." I told them. I really want to go but I have hella strict parents and they would never allow me, they are too busy beating me up either way, thus the baggy clothes and some self-harm scars.

The bell rang and we separated going to class. Kiki is my best friend and we go to most of our classes together because we are in the same grade.

-Time skip-

"Dude you really have to stop doing that to yourself," she says as I change into our Phys Ed kit. I just put on a white long sleeve big shirt. Technically it's still part of the kit so hopefully I won't get shouted at.

"Again with these clothes of yours. You need to wear a proper kit next time. Or else I'll suspend you." Mr Khumalo said.

"Yes sir." I reply rolling my eyes

"Okay two laps and stretches then we will go play volleyball." He announced staying on the court to make sure we don't cheat.

I ran one lap side by side with Kiki and half way through the second one I wanted to show her some moves I learnt from cheer.

I looked around to see that most of the people were done.

"Kiki look what I can do." I said getting ready.

I did 3 hands on back flips and one hands off landing a little bit wobbly.

A couple of people clapped and some of them called me a try hard.

"I can't believe you did that," she cheered running to hug me.

"How did you even manage to do it?" she asked.

"I told you remember. I went to cheer camp. Didn't you read my message." I mean I thought she did.

"No, I didn't. Sorry." She apologised hugging me again.

Yeah dipshit of course she didn't. Why would she. She barely ever texts you so what did you expect.

"You can tell me about it while we stretch." She suggested as if she knows what's going on in my mind.

I start telling her about my journey and cheer and she just listens. Which is very comforting and sometimes I don't know if she is ever listening or is daydreaming.

"Could you just shut the fuck up." Couch screamt making me almost cry. Being told to shut up is like a triggering thing for me and not a lot of things do that.

"I-um. Sorry sir." That shut me up quickly.

"Only, I'm the only one allowed to say shut up to myself." I mumbled.

Class went on as usual. Just me trying to push down the fact that I am a little bit hurt.

I talk a lot, and cry, and everyone always tells me to shut up. It hurts, that's why I appreciate it when people actually listen to me, or pretend to.

"I saw your stunts back there who knew." Nathan said coming close to me.

"Oh my gosh baby, I have to talk to you." Naledi said taking her boyfriend by the arm and giving me the stank eye before they walked off.

That was one weird ass thing that just happened.

We walk to class and work, obviously. The day end pretty well now it's time to go back to the shit hole I call home.

I really have given up hope on having a better life. Just 3 more years and I will be gone out of this hell hole.

I get home and start with cooking. I did my school work on the bus so I have none. I change and start with dinner. My parents came home just as I was dishing out.

We sat down at the table and began eating. That's when I realised...

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welcome people. hope you will love this book like I do. 

the first few chapters are going to be like filler chapters.