Buddie Break-Up

"The Past"

Eddies Point Of View:

It's been 2 months and I miss him. His adoring smile. His laugh. His Body. His Touch. His sleepy face and cuddles every morning before work. He was my life. My other half. My lover. Now he's moved on for some other girl, I'm not sure if she's a rebound or a forever lover. I've got to move on but I can't help but think about him. I need him. He was and is my happiness. We are made for each other.

Me and Buck were together for 1 year and a half. It ended and I am the reason for it. Here's what happened 2 months ago:

It was a normal day, I wake up next to Buck and we do the usual morning business. It had been a stressful week for both of us and we hadn't really been intimate in a while. We were either too tired or just not in the mood. This was slowly pushing us apart before we even had the argument. There was an accident at work that day that resulted in me going to the hospital. We were heading back towards the fire station when we passed a street fight. We got out the truck to break it up when someone ran up behind me and shoved a knife into my side and pulled it back out. Buck had witnessed the man stab me, his lover. I had dropped down to my knees at this point. I could see the sadness and enragement overcoming Buck. He ran towards the man and punched him, knocking him out stone cold. I had never seen him so angry in his life. He began shouting at him as he was laid on the floor. Bobby intervened dragging him away as Hen and Chimney began to work on me. His anger turned to sadness. Bobby calmed him down telling him that he can't work on me as they already have enough to worry about. Bobby walked away and dispatched the police to our current location. Buck had decided to ignore Bobby's request and walked over anyways. He told me he loved me and that everything was going to be alright. He kissed me on the head and held my hand the whole way to the hospital. I could see him holding his tears back trying to stay strong for me but I knew he was worried sick. I was immediately stitched up and luckily it wasn't too serious, but I was told to take time off of work in order to heal. Buck stayed by my side the whole time. That was until the day after. My parents had turned up to the hospital unexpectedly. They brought me gifts and a get well soon balloon that Buck had took off them to place with the rest of the gifts. My pops asked who Buck was. Buck looked at me confused. I avoided eye contact with him and told them he's just a friend. They thank him for looking after me and leave. Buck was distraught, I could see in his face that he was disheartened by the fact I hadn't told them we were dating after all that time. "He's just a friend?" Buck repeated confused and upset. I told him I'm sorry when he cuts me off telling me that it's not enough for him. He asked why I hadn't told them yet, trying to reason with me. I explained that if I told them I would lose them forever and I wasn't ready to do that. I knew in that moment that I had messed it up. Buck looked at me trying to be civil but wanted to shout at me so bad. "I could have lost people when I told them about us, in fact I did. But it didn't stop me because you are the most important person in my life. And as long as I have you, Eddie, I don't need anyone else. Obviously we don't think the same way" He said. I could see the sad look in him that also looked like betrayal. He began to cry "I can't do this". Those were the last words he said to me before he walked out the hospital room, a proposal ring falling out of his pocket on the way out. I forced myself to get up and grab it, resulting in a few stitches breaking and me passing out. For the rest of my hospital stay I held onto the proposal ring as a good luck charm, in hopes he would come back to me. He didn't. My hospital stay was like a living hell. I was broken and hopeless. 

The final words he said to me that day and his face when he said it is what keeps me up at night. I can't stop thinking about how badly I messed things up. A week after all that I had called my parents and told them I'm Gay and Buck was actually dating me when they came to visit. We haven't talked since. Both Buck and My Parents want nothing to do with me. At this point is there a point in trying. I have lost the most important people in my life. The reasons I got up every morning. Are now gone. I want him. I need him. We haven't really talked since then, other than at work. His stuff is still at my place. The engagement ring is still in my bedside table draw. I've got to get him back. I make myself a coffee knowing that I've got to break the silence between us. I send him a text, short but sweet. It reads 'Hey, I'm sorry about how things ended. Anyways I've still got some things of yours at my place. We can't just avoid each other. Is there any chance of us being friends again?'. I know he's probably going to say no but it's worth a shot I guess. I turn on the TV and lay down in hopes I get a good nights sleep.

Buck's Point Of View:

The sound of my phone pinging was what woke me up. I pick it up and the brightness blinds me. I see that Eddie had sent me a message. I worry at what it might be. He hasn't been at work in a while and things didn't end all that well for us, I don't know how he is but I kind of don't care at least that's what I tell myself and my girlfriend. I read the message, 'Hey, I'm sorry about how things ended. Anyways I've still got some things of yours at my place. We can't just avoid each other. Is there any chance of us being friends again?' I sit there wondering the same. I tell myself I don't miss him but I know deep down somewhere that I do. I wonder how he's doing after the whole incident. I decide to reply 'Uhm. I could come down tomorrow and pick up my things. I'd love to be friends but I fear it won't be the same as it was, you shattered my heart. I don't want that to happen again.' I write as I hover my thumb over the send button, when my girlfriend sits up and looks at me. "Who's that?"

"It's no one. We just had a fall out not long ago" I reply nervously.

"That text seems like it was more than just a fall out. How long have you been separated?" She shouts.

I know I can't lie to her. "2 months" I reply knowing this could be it.

"2 months! So what. Am I just a rebound!" She shouts louder as she begins to grab her stuff.

"No, I really do love you. Ok, I haven't talked to him in ages. I'm not interested in him anymore." I reply tying to sooth her.

"Well. I don't think that's the truth" She storms off. Slamming my door behind her. "We're done!" she shouts.

I sit there and begin to cry. I look back at my phone to the message I still haven't sent. I delete the message. 'Honestly, I would have loved to stay as friends but, I just don't think it would work. Can't we just forget about each other and please leave me alone.' I angrily reply. I go to sleep knowing the full regret of sending that message.