The Road Trip

• Fifteen •

We were cutting it close.

I'll be there I promise. Only ten minutes away, I texted Colin.

Luke was weaving in and out of traffic, not caring if he got into an accident in his most prized possession because he said a police escort to Colin's graduation would be even faster.

I'd insisted we hike down to the river bank to see the falls from below, and Luke relented after I kept pushing him, promising him we had enough time. I hadn't counted on the traffic.

I hopped into the back and pulled a dress out of my suitcase. My and Luke's eyes caught each other in the rearview mirror when I took my shirt off, and Luke reached up and turned it down like he hadn't just seen me naked less than twenty-four hours ago. I pulled the dress over my head, slipped my heels on, and settled back in the front seat.

Luke pulled up to the front of our high school with seven minutes to spare.

I got out of the car and turned around.

"I'll get your luggage to you tomorrow," Luke said, waving at me to go.

I hesitated. He hesitated. I turned slightly and turned back.

"Unless you want to meet me tonight," he added. "We'll be at Welliver's. That bar downtown."

I blinked. I wasn't going to that, but I could feel myself wanting to be wherever Luke was. Even if it was my high school reunion, and the last place in the world I wanted to be, I'd go there just to be with him.

"Thanks for everything," I choked out.

Luke nodded at me and smiled. "Now go, Bean. Before you miss it."

I took a deep breath, forcing myself to break eye contact, and turned around.

Do not look back, I said to myself as I pulled open the door and shut him out behind me. If I had, I would've cried.

I checked my phone. I had six minutes. I picked up my pace and turned down the senior hallway. I found my old blue locker and leaned back against it, taking in the empty corridor to the left and right.

I surprised myself when I realized I felt happy. Happy to have lived up to this moment because life is only a series a moments, and I could choose to live like it was always my last. I wouldn't relive my teenage years if I could, no matter the regrets, because they'd all brought me to the present point in time.

Memories came flooding back. Things I'd forgotten.

I looked to my right and remembered when Paige and I sat on that bench on the last day of school of sophomore year, writing in each other's yearbook. She was moving the next week, and I was convinced we wouldn't stay friends—that she would find cooler friends in L.A., that our communication would slowly dissipate. She totally did find cooler friends.

I turned around and tried the locker. It opened with a clink. It was completely empty and smelled like dirty metal. When it was mine, I had a picture of me and Paige from our last high school dance in tenth grade (we'd gone together) hung on the inside of the door and a white board for important school reminders below it—things like math quiz Tuesday and homework extra credit due next week for biology. The things I'd written there didn't matter at all anymore. At the time, they had seemed so important—like my life would be uprooted if I didn't get an A on the next assignment. And now I realized that shit didn't matter at all.

I looked to my left and remembered when Avery kicked my textbook in the hallway after I dropped it and she happened to be walking by. I had been so mad that I hadn't said anything, that I didn't stand up for myself, that I told her off later. But now I just laughed at how trivial it was.