OUR ABERRANT MARRIAGE

chapter 9

Priya's pov:

The vibrations of my mobile made me open my eyes...there was no sign of sleepiness even when I didn't slept a minute whole night.

I was trying my best to fall into deep slumber but as if the whole earth is against me,I just couldn't sleep.
All my thoughts were revolving around him and how I'll reveal all this to ma.
And even after thinking alot I just couldn't come to a conclusion amd that's really driving me mad.
He wants to marry me in other 18 days to be approximately.

After waking up, I'll go and say this to nanna...whatever the ruckus causes I'll be responsible, I thought.
Putting all my weight on my left arm I raised a little from bed to look at the time,the digital clock on bedside table displaying.
It was 5'O clock.

Sighing I kept wondering when I'll get my most awaited sleep and I really slipped into deep slumber inbetween the chaos running in my mind.
.
.
.
Huh!!! I muttered in uninterested way as I felt someone poking my shoulders badly.

But the intial poking progressed to shaking so I couldn't help but squint open my eyes to see my Ma who was glaring at me angrily.

"Do you have any idea how much you've slept today?? It's already 12" she whisper yelled angrily.

She thought I slept early but I didn't...I was late , very very late.

But not wanting to explain all to Ma , I just sat up on the bed rubbing the sleepiness off my eyes I whined internally because I still want to sleep.
But then I remembered about the confession I need to make so I rished inside washroom,to freshen up for the day.
I think I can call it the Dday of my life because I am uncertain of the reactions if my parents.

After standing beneath the shower,hot water touching my skin made me less tense cooling my nerves.
I put on a cotton kurti with puffed sleeves along with matching trouser put on some moisturiser then rushing downstairs to the living room.

The scene was quite expected...Nanna was watching TV while wearing his thick glasses and ma was asking to switch the channel from that scary news to a serial so she could understand something too, but asusual he acted like he didn't hear a thing.

I smiled as I felt like hard times have passed and we have returned to our routine, but I knew better than getting lost in this little happiness.

I took a deep breath as I made my presence aware to them.
I have got to do this... I reminded myself

"Ahem Nanna, I want to say something but before that please promise me you will listen to me carefully and yes,you won't be mad at me." I said as I don't want my ever loving Nanna to shout at me and break my heart and also I really don't want to see any disappointment in him for me.

"When have I showed you my anger beta...come site here and tell me , are you in a problem. Its ok beta we will try to solve that ok. Now don't be afraid" he said as he patted the space between him and Ma.

I hesitantly walked there took my seat as I said
"Nanna I...I want to marry..." before I could complete the sentence Ma interrupted my speech saying
"Have you been watching those korean dramas that you are getting such crazy thoughts. You should study at this age" she reprimanded me little hardly.

"Ma let me speak. I know I still have a lot to study and I haven't settled in my life but I have to do this if I don't want to regret in the near future.
I know you are concerned about me... I understand, I really do. But the thing is I know the crisis we are going through and I want to help you guys somehow." I said with much difficulty.

Seriously all my life I've avoided any serious conversations, I like to keep my thoughts myself becaus I feel once they are out ,the people can read me like an open book and I'll be judged by them accordingly. They can call me a distant humanbeing or even socially awkward or even antisocial but that's how I'm.
Once my thoughts are out I'll be vulnerable, which I do not wanna be.
What would my Ma think about me...