Random Stuff[idk]

TW: Bad thought (abandoment, sh, suicide, toxic relationships)

you have been warned

please just please why can't i leave already? i want this dreaded life to end. everyone ignores me, nobody fucking loves me, i'm not good for anybody. My friends don't say 'i love you' anymore am i really that worthless? they don't even message me at all to say 'hello em how are you?' or even a simple goodnight. what did i do to just be flat out ignored like this? god my wrists, and legs hurt so badly, why did i do it again i promised myself to not harm myself anymore. everybody must be disappointed in me they will all hate me for doing it, they will leave me behind just like everybody else does. why, why just why does it have to be like this. why did i have to be born? i have no use on this damn world, i am just there to cause problems, make people upset, get abandoned. i always get myself into toxic friendships but yet i still cling to the person who is bad. god i can't even express how i feel because i'm supposed to be the 'happiest kid with a childhood full of joy no trauma at all' i have to pretend every single day to be okay and happy it's so tiring. i sometimes want to hug somebody and cry endlessly, but somebody who will care, listen and actually be there for me for as long as i live. i don't want anybody to leave me to rot like a fruit like they always do. why can't i just be happy. i literally wont hesitate to get a knife to just kill myself right here and now, i'm getting pretty fucking tired of this shitty life.