Safe~Vampire

Stuck in a rut

Recently things have been so bitter and treacherous for a number of reasons..

~my best friend betrayed me and called me emo and said "just go cut your wrists some more I don't give a single fuck about you"
~my grades keep dropping down,here is my grades below ..
-D
-F
-D
-D
-C
yeah THAT bad..
~and to top it all off...my boyfriend dumped me to go date my fake ex best friend..I'm SO done with boys..
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Yeah I said it..I'm gay,so what?There's nothing wrong with it and if anybody has a problem with it they can go fuck their homophobic selves.
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Too bad I still have to deal with school..it's currently November and I have months left until I finally get to get out of that hell hole...ugh
My life is completely hopeless at the moment and nothing can ease my pain.
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It's bad enough that I'm an ugly,fat,and stupid ass bitch..
I know that it's true..hell,I've been called it my whole life..even by my family.
I've been bullied forever and going to a new school won't help it.

At least this school will have more people like me..vampires,werewolves,etc.
But what they don't have there is people that are like the REAL me..worthless,freak,outcast.

Why does my life have to suck this much?
Whatever..it's hopeless anyway and I'm too deep in the water to stop drowning now..

I need somebody to save me from myself and everything else but nobody would help a freak like me anyway..
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But it's always been this way..I have always been the freak or the outcast girl,even in my own fucking family..I never get my own way and nothing in my life is fair and now I'm all alone.

No friends,no boyfriend,just me and my dad.
My mom died when I was just 3 and sadly I can barely even remember her..
She was blonde,intelligent,and beautiful...so,unlike me..
She was studying to become a lawyer but then she died in a terrible accident.

I remember the questions that I asked my dad and they all ended in the same exact answer.
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"Dad,where's mommy?"
"She went out for a long trip..she won't be back for a long time"
When I was 3 I had no idea why he cried after that..but now I do.

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That long time had turned into forever..
If my mom was still alive then my life wouldn't be this bad..:'(

I would be alone,I wouldn't be stuck in a fucking rut,and I wouldn't have to have this drowning feeling where nobody can or would even try to save me..