Mirrors and Memories

Chapter 1

I didn't even feel it at first, adrenaline blocking out the pain as I desperately tried to fight this man- wait what? What’s happening? I was in this building with couches and other homey items, but it looked too big to be a typical house. Seems like I was fighting something, or someone. I turned around and saw two large men, one more familiar than the other.

The one farther away from me was smaller than the other and looked terrified. I’m not sure why, but I wanted to beat the taller one, hopefully it would rid the smaller one of their terrified look. I looked down, seeing someone at my feet. They looked like someone I was supposed to know, but I didn’t. I had this pit at the bottom of my stomach telling me I'd probably never know. I noticed how my feet went through them, maybe I killed them and I'm going through some form of shock. I tried taking a few steps forward and seeing how I still went through the body; I suspected quirk use.
I tried to grab the taller of the two men, but I phased through them. He didn’t even notice me. For some reason, a part of me wanted to scream, to have someone notice me. My vision blacked out for a moment before I returned to where I was before. I looked back at where my body was supposed to be. It wasn’t there anymore. I felt panic rise in my chest, but I couldn’t do much. I knew now that I couldn’t touch anything, that nobody could hear me. I turned around and saw the two men from earlier looking at each other.

Perhaps they knew each other, maybe they knew who I was. Shouldn’t I know who I was? Am I dead? That would explain the dead body and me phasing through everything. Maybe that body was mine, before I died. I felt a pull on what I'd assume was my soul, given I didn’t have a body anymore. A shock of pain darted up where my spine would be, and I felt like I was being torn in half. I tried to scream, tried to struggle, but the force was too strong for me to even move.

When I let myself open my eyes, a saw another me. Looked like my dead body, but something was missing. Nothing physical, but still something. It was lacking emotion as I stared at it. It pointed up, so I looked up. It was just the ceiling, nothing more than that. I looked back at it to see it was gone. I turned around to look around to look for the other me. It was floating next to the smaller man, looking at him with sad eyes. Maybe I knew who the smaller one was when I was alive. I heard the other me say something, ‘Chizu.’ That could be the smaller man's name. I wasn’t given a lot of time before I felt something grabbing at my legs. It was pulling me down, through the floor and the ground. I couldn’t breathe, not that I needed to. I just felt uncomfortable as I was stuck being pulled down lower and lower.

Maybe I was going to hell, that would the phrase “dragged down to the deepest pits of hell.” I let it drag me down, until it stopped. It was dark, and there wasn’t anyone around that I could hear. As my eyes grew used to the dark, I saw more things around me. There were a lot of clocks, the hands moving too fast for me to tell the time. There were also mirrors, I was tempted to investigate one, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. If I were to see my reflection, would I be satisfied? Disgusted? Horrified? I didn’t move, I wasn’t sure if it was safe.

The floor was covered in water, up to my ankles. Looking around the floor, I could see some wood poking up from the water, mostly barrels, boxes, and broken planks. On some of these there were scraps of moldy food, blood, and other things I knew I wouldn’t want to touch. Nearby me, there was a barrel with a small piece of paper sitting on it. It looked old, centuries if not eons.

Curiosity got the better of me and I picked up the paper, it had some writing on it. It was a little hard to read at first with it being so dark, but eventually I was able to make some of it out. It said that I wasn’t in purgatory, a name was also listed. Horace. It felt familiar, but also cold. I didn’t like that feeling. It was my name, the paper said. I wonder why I felt this way about the name, perhaps it was the person who gave it to me.

Betraying my gut instinct to stay put, I moved forward. It was only a few steps, but it felt like miles. I looked into one of the mirrors surrounding me, seeing where I was before I was dragged down here. Chizu was fighting the other dude. I looked away, but I’m not sure why. It looked interesting, quirks being used, but I felt I should look the other way. I took another step forward.

To my left there was a big mirror, I wonder if the size of the mirror reflected its importance. I took a look, seeing a guy with short black hair, a strand poking out of the top. He looked about 15, high school age. It turned white as soon as I looked for further details, so I looked away. I put my head down, I wasn’t sure what I was to do. My name, Horace, meant Timekeeper, and I can look at time itself. I grabbed onto one of the clocks, stopping the hands from moving. The clocks surrounding me stopped moving as well. Could I view any point in time? The clock in my hand tells minutes, seconds, and hours, so could I find a clock that tells years, days, and months?

Could I change that time too? Could I go into the future, or was I limited to the present and past? I walked for what felt like hours, but with the clock still in my hand, I couldn’t tell the time I started, or where I was now. My legs were starting to go numb from walking, was this my punishment for something I'd done in life, something I couldn’t remember?

I found a suitable place to sit, a barrel a little higher than the others, which allowed my feet to be out of the water covering the floor. While I physically rested, I looked around again. I couldn’t tell if it had gotten brighter, or if my eyes had grown used to the tiny light supplied down here. I looked down at myself, seeing that I was wearing a long white robe, going down to right above my ankles. It was long sleeved; the sleeves covered my hands.

Part of me was thankful for that, I wouldn’t be able to see myself. I stayed sitting for a good while. I had let go of the clock hands, letting them turn rapidly while I sat. I felt my hair growing, by the time I had got up it touched the water covered floor.

I ignored my hair and held the clock hand in place again as I started to move. I spotted the clock type I was looking for, so I grabbed it. It read 2380-12-25 I turned it back to 2315-10-23. I wanted to go back to the mirror that showed Chizu, that being the only name I recognized. I called it out into the void of liminal space, and the mirror came to me. It went up from the floor in front of me.

Looking in the mirror, I could see Chizu had won the fight. He wasn’t moving, though that could be because I was still holding the clock hands still. I turned the clock over, looking for a switch to change how fast time progressed. Sure enough, there was one. It was a multiplier, and it was set to x15. I changed it to x1 and let the clock hands go. Chizu started moving in the mirror, and I now just noticed that he was covered in blood. Hopefully, it wasn’t his, that would mean they got hurt.

I was looking around for other names to try, when I noticed the doors had names on them. Maybe this was a dorm building. One name stuck out to me, besides my own. Ryo Shimizu. I grabbed onto Chizu's mirror a pulled it to the side, then called that name out, hoping I was pronouncing it right. I saw it as it was peeking out of the floor, bright light flooding everything. I stomped it back down quickly, mostly because it hurt my eyes to look at.

So, I had seen it earlier, at the start of my ‘journey’. I kept the name in the back of my mind for later, as I'd need to check that out. For now, I’d analyze those clocks. The one showing year-month-day (which I will now refer to as YMD) doesn’t move on its own, it only moves to what I set it to, and changes when a day goes by on the other clock. There is a button on the time clock that stops it, this way I don’t have to manually hold the clock hands.

I remembered my name, what if I called out that? Would I be able to see my own life? What would change if I knew? I ask a lot of questions yet get extraordinarily few answers. I called my own name out, not expecting anything to come because of my current ‘pushing daises’ state. To my surprise, a mirror appeared from the ground, showing where the other me was. Maybe the other me had my memories since it looked so damn sad. I took out the YMD clock and changed it to 2300-4-1. I’m not sure how I knew, but that was my birthday. I saw baby me, freshly alive. Man, I wasn’t a cute baby.

I took the next hours, days, maybe even weeks, standing there and watching my life, right up until it ended. No wonder the other me was so sad. Chizu was my best friend, and Ryo- I barely knew him. It was back to 2315 on the YMD clock. I put both clocks down on a barrel, then ripped the bottom of my robe. I used the ripped fabric to make a clock carrier, pulled it around my body and put the clocks in. This solved the problem I had with my hands being full.

Much to my dismay, the robe regenerated, leaving no evidence of any rips. Guess this means I could take infinite amounts of fabric from it. I wanted to see something while I was here, maybe now I can prove this. I was already dead, so there was no harm in trying. “Kaeru Sekai”. I felt every emotion I had been bottling up, flooding- no. More than that. Like a tsunami of sorts. I felt tired. I felt fear. I felt anger. I felt nothing. I felt everything.

The mirror came up, way too slowly. It was dark, nothing showing. I remembered that he had died, and that I had killed him. He was 23, so he would’ve been born 2292. I turned the YMD clock to 2310, since his studies started when he was 18. The mirror gained color, life, and energy once again. I sat in the water and watched this man struggle. It was mildly enjoyable, but my question lay unanswered. Until he turned 22. He had been tiptoeing atrociously around the answer for far too long, he didn’t realize it was right in front of him. Literally, like it was on his main computer, what the hell dude. It showed the timeline, and each line stood for a being, a person, a soul.

His line ended with mine intercepting it. No wonder he was reluctant to give me an answer. He wanted to change his fate, not knowing that telling me could’ve saved his life. Fate has a weird way of tying loose ends, I guess that’s why I am here.

I turned the time back to 2315. God, how long was I to stay here? Surely someone should’ve noticed my disappearance, if not my death, right? I pulled Chizu’s mirror towards me and looked at it. He was going to school; he didn’t look too concerned about the death, or the lack of me. I kept on watching, seeing how nobody had noticed. The other me was looking at me the entire time, it still looked sad.

If I existed in that world, shouldn’t there be indications of my existence? Someone had walked up to Chizu and asked about me, but Chizu didn’t know who they were talking about. Their name was Nyx, I had worked with them in my support course studies. I called out their name, and their mirror came to me. I watched them look for me, follow any clues to my existence. They asked for other people's help, but no one knew me. Nyx’s quirk was a quirk invulnerability, so maybe my quirk caused everyone to forget, but because of Nyx's quirk they didn’t forget.

That was a possibility, but it could also be that some people were in denial. I was thankful for the one person who remembered me. I don’t think I could have handled it, knowing that no one cared, no one remembered. I knew now that it was possible my quirk was to blame, thanks to Nyx. I’d have to thank them repeatedly if I ever got out of here. I guess this means I must get to work on getting out of here. I wonder how many people have been here, how many have tried to escape. I hope they were able to get out. That would give me so much hope.

For now, let's keep an eye on Kaeru and Nyx. They might be more important than anyone else, their mirrors are huge compared to Chizu’s or Ryo’s. So, the sizes do matter. I stopped the clocks, I wanted to sleep and if I let time go, I'd miss something. I think I slept for what felt like weeks. When I awoke, I allowed time to continue. I watched the mirror images, learning more about this universe, and thinking about other universes. I could go to Kaeru’s old house and steal his laptop if I got out. He would still have legal possession over his house since no one's found the body yet. And they never will.

It's only been about a week since he died, so I should be able to get the computer, or even just the flash drives he kept his studies on. I almost felt bad for him, I killed him after something so small. Small to most, I guess it was pretty big to me given I did kill him for the information. Wait, my line on the chart never ended, it went off the screen. Meaning I was probably still alive. No, I was definitely dead. I probably would just come back for 2 minutes at most.

Kaeru was tracing his fingers over the lines again, like he didn’t believe his outcome. I looked at my line, the one that intercepts him. It had a hole in it, but it continued as normal after that. Huh, I guess that means I'd come back to life at least. Nyx was talking to someone, a man. He was dressed in a doctor's coat, and still had his lanyard on. So, the man was a doctor. I caught his name on his lanyard, Judah. I didn’t call out the name, instead I waited until the conversation was over. Nyx told him about my disappearance, and how no one knew who I was. He looked like he knew something, but either didn’t know how to say it or didn’t know if he wanted to say it.

They continued talking, and Judah agreed to help Nyx find me. I’m glad he agreed, even though he never did voice his thoughts. I wish him only good things. Meanwhile with Kaeru, I found the name of someone he worked with.
“Owari Hito” That name sounded familiar, I'm not sure why. The mirror came, like the others. This one was relatively big, almost as big as Ryo’s. I placed it face down in my lap while I continued watching the other two. I didn’t want to look at Owari’s mirror yet, mostly because he was still talking to Kaeru in the other mirror.

The conversation ended quickly, Kaeru said something that made Owari upset so he walked off before an argument started. I picked up Owari’s mirror and looked in it, seeing him enter a room with a laser machine attached to the wall by the door. There was a glass viewing area, with a door leading there through the room. Poor design choice if you ask me, if it were for a live specimen, they could easily open that door and harm the viewer.

Why am I actually thinking about that? It's not like Kaeru would approve of that type of testing. Not unless it was necessary, and I believe this would be far from that rhetoric. Owari walked into the viewing room, closing the door to this room and not the other door. Weird dude. He lit a cigarette and started taking drags from it. I looked up at Nyx’s mirror, the two were getting close to finding me, I'd have to be quick on my studies. I knew a lot now, more than I should.

Judah seems to know a lot about this whole universe thing, even more so the multiverse. I’ll leave him alone though; I didn’t need to know everything yet. Besides, if I do get out of here, I’d have my hands full with getting Kaeru’s laptop. That would be taking up a lot of my time, which is more precious than anything else at this point. I could get Chizu to help if I paid him, but he might not even remember me. God dammit, I've been trying to avoid that topic and yet I still walked straight into it. I hate my nonexistents while still existing at the same time. Why did everyone have to forget me? I wasn’t particularly important, I was probably only here to aid plot development of other people, such as Nyx and maybe even Ryo. They seemed very important.
What was my point of existence if it was only to serve others? I’m dead now, why can’t I rest? I’m so tired of everything, I don’t see the point of my continued existence. Why am I alive? Is it actually to aid plot development? Thinking about this like a game, this seems like the most likely case to me. I’m dead to allow two other people to have importance, I made friends with Chizu to introduce him to villainy for money, I’ve defended Ryo for no real reason. All this doesn’t seem like something someone outside the plot loop would do.

This means theres a good chance I'd be stuck being plot development for the rest of my life. Part of me hated this idea, the prospect of my actions caused by some outside force. The other wanted to give into the force, let it do as it pleased to make it happy. Maybe then I could have my own life. Have a life in which I was in full control of, no outside forces controlling my actions. The thought was nice, atleast I could have my own thoughts.

I should get some sleep; it would help with getting rid of these thoughts. I stopped the clocks and laid down in the water. I was starting to get used to the water, it no longer felt annoying for me to move in. Sleeping in it was a little annoying at first, especially with how much hair I had grown while here.

It got in my face whenever the water moved, which it did often. I gave up trying to get it off my face and slept. I woke up what felt like weeks later, though again I knew there would be no way to tell how long I'd slept. I sat up and pushed my hair off my face. I clicked the button on the time clock and couldn’t help but realize that a lot of this was starting to become repetitive.
So, I continued. Continued watching, noting things and learning. I learned that not a lot of people ever had an impact, that most people live their lives in unknowing service to the story line, the plot. Like pons on a chessboard. Most have little value, but if they can get to the other side they’ll be swapped for a queen. But that doesn’t compare to a king. And right now, I have two in front of me. In a normal game of chess, this would mean I'd won.

One king, a green haired boy, fatherless, bullied for being quirk less all throughout his life until he got into UA.
The other, A black haired boy, tragic story with a quirk to pair.
If I never get out of here, I'd take immense pride in watching their stories thoroughly. Whether they fight, fuck, or pair up as a hero team, it would be amazing. Extraordinary. Maybe they’d be villains.

Everything hurt, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the mirrors for even a moment. So much, too much was going on all at once but still, I had to know what was going to happen next. It was like a TV show, or a game that you had gotten addicted to. That analogy might be a little too accurate to this world, but it fits.

At least now, where I am now, I can’t affect the world any more than I already have. Now, I get to watch. Oh god, I’d have to go back- I don’t want to. I am comfortable where I am now. That was a lie. I was in so much pain, but anything was better than being up there with them when I could just sit here and watch everything instead.

Can’t I stay here? To change fate in such a way- It defies the plot, the story. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. I was torn between two things again- To defy the plot or go with it? I don’t know which one is worse.

I didn’t want routine, stop time, sleep, wake up, resume time, watch, repeat.
I didn’t want to affect the plot.
I didn’t want to exist.

This liminal space, this world, it didn’t need me. But wouldn’t my nonexistence affect the plot too? I don’t know want I want anymore; I'd give into almost anything in this state. This is why people say ignorance is bliss. God forbid I go against the story but fuck it at the same time. Maybe I'd like the plot twist my nonexistence would bring. No one would know that it was my fault things did or didn’t happen.

No one would know I fucked up the world.

I can’t just not exist, its damn near impossible. Many have tried, I've watched them. I’ve seen them waste away in the labs, get addicted to substances, and eventually die, never finding an answer.

It would take years to even begin thinking about feasible nonexistence. I don’t think it could get much more nonexistent than my situation right now. And I still had someone coming to get me. Two people, technically, but does that matter?

Nothing matters anymore, fate or something like it, has already made it plan. It’ll give you the rope to hang yourself with, but the moment you try, it’ll be taken away. I hope I still have this metaphorical rope, though it's unlikely at this point. It's pointless without plot, yet that’s what I strive to go against. I’d have to break the rope and throw it away, metaphorically anyways.

But that would hurt, so much I may forget why I was doing it and go back. So let whatever's controlling the outcome of life chart its course and follow it. That’s the easy option and it's looking rather appealing right now. I couldn’t really decide on what to do, my brain felt numb at this point from lack of sleep and other things. But I didn’t want to go into a cycle again, that seemed boring and unexciting. I don’t know why, but routine seemed bad. Something I didn’t want or need for that matter.

Taking my mind from that, I push myself up onto my feet. I stretched out, feeling my bones crack from me slouching over and laying in the water. The water hadn’t made me wet at all, interestingly enough. Was it even water? The pains from earlier had ebbed away by now, allowing my mind to wander from topic to topic. It was a bit relaxing to just think about anything else to be honest.

I really wished that it was a little brighter in here, my eyes kind of hurt from staring at the bright mirrors for so long, but I guess that it was my fault for that. I wanted to leave, and I knew I would, I just had to wait a little longer. Nyx and Judah would be here soon, that was definite. As if on cue, they burst through the ‘roof’ of this place, giving light from the hole. Judah crashed through the mirror above me, and on top of me. He landed with his stomach on mine, we both groaned from the sudden impact.

“Nyx! I’ll catch you, just jump!” Judah jumped to his feet as he said this, moving into where I was when I crawled to the side. Judah did exactly what he said he would, catching Nyx with little trouble. They were placed on the floor beside me, standing while I was still sitting on my knees. They looked down at me for a moment, taken aback by the change in appearance. “Have you seen yourself recently? You look like a completely different person!” Nyx held out their hand to me, and once I took it, they pulled me to my feet. I grabbed onto them for support, given I hadn’t actually tried to stand and move for a while aside from the one time I tried to stretch.

“No, I haven’t. I’ve been stuck here for God knows how long. Time moves differently here, faster.” I felt my legs shake from the effort and the weight.
“How do you know?” Judah didn’t say this in disbelief, but in curiosity. ” Clocks, they tell the time I'm viewing; however, they were moving much faster when I first got here, telling the more accurate time to this place.” I attempted to move away from Nyx, almost falling on my ass. They caught me before I did, so I just held them instead.

“Moving on from what I can assume is going to turn into nerd talk, is there a way out of here aside from the hole in the ceiling we made?” Nyx appeared to have grown a radar for ‘nerd talk.’ “Not one I currently know of, but you two have been outside this space for a while, right? If you need to sit down for a moment, please do so. There are some barrels to sit on if you're not comfortable sitting in the water.”

The two people looked at each other for a moment, before Nyx hauled me over their shoulders and started looking around. “Look for a door, Owari said there might be one. If not, we always have me to experiment with. I didn’t bring the nullifier with me.” Judah said as he walked forward. They worked around the space looking for an opening. Nyx wasn’t slowed down by me at all, still going just as fast as normal, if not faster. I can’t imagine weighing any more than 90 pounds. Nyx was a gym rat too, so that would help with carrying me.

On the other hand, Judah looked like a twig. I’d be surprised if he could carry anything over what I currently weigh. I could see my hair touching the water and dragging in it. Damn, I needed a haircut badly. It was back to its original color, an amber brown color, meaning I'd have to color it too. I wondered if I should keep it long or cut it short. I almost missed what Nyx was saying as I indulged in my thoughts.

“We found the exit, are you ready to go back?” They had shaken me a little to make sure I was listening to them.
“Hm? Oh, yeah. Sorry I'm a little dazed right now.”

They walked through a door, it was bigger than the ones ua had, but definitely lighter. And do they went…..