Gathering Roses

13.

Flashback

"Cassidy, don't be ridiculous. There's no way you're ready to raise a baby. Give it to the state. They have programs for issues like that. You need to focus on your career, not someone else's kid. Be reasonable!" Cass' mom lectured her over the phone as Cass fed little Emmy a bottle. The transition to formula feeding had not gone well. Cass had just finally gotten Emmy to accept the bottle without fussing. She brushed her hair back from her face. Cass was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. The funeral last week had been awful. Maya's parents were devastated, then outraged about Emmy, then infuriated that Maya had left their 'flesh and blood' to Cass, then threatened to sue for custody. Their lawyer, thankfully, had advised against it. Emmy was only two months old and Maya hadn't contacted her parents in over a year. Cass had lost several nights of sleep—already fractured by Emmy's cries— worrying that they would act on their threats before they relented, put their noses high in the air, and drove home.

Cass' own parents had come down for the funeral as well, if only to barrage Cass about her life. They couldn't understand why Cass wasn't moving home, why she wasn't quitting her job, or why she was determined to raise Emmy. Her mom had called several times to "chat", but just ended up giving her unwanted opinions to Cass who really didn't have time or patience to deal with them.

"Mm," she responded noncommittally, adjusting her grip on the bottle. She knew that responding was futile—her mother would just gripe about her two disappointing children and then end the rant session with the usual "I love you" and "can't wait to see you soon". Even from 200 miles away, Cass could sense her mother's frustration. "I thought I had gone through a rough patch when Joey left and didn't come back. Now you're leaving me, too." Her mother's voice cracked and slight sniffles came through the phone.

"Mom, I told you. Until you accept that this is what I am choosing to do, I am not coming home. Emmy needs me and I need her. If you can't understand that, I'm sorry, but I guess this is how it's gonna be. Say hi to Dad for me." Cass hung up the phone before her mom could respond. She ignored the shrill rings as her mother called back and brought Emmy to her shoulder to burp her. It was time for them to move on. Cass would say her final goodbyes to Jed and Maya, then pack up her and Emmy's things and move to Lincoln where a daycare center needed a worker and a young single mom needed a fresh start.

          ~     ~     ~     ~

Emmy's cries woke Cass the next morning. Cass kept her eyes closed, remembering her and Tuck's chat last night. She couldn't believe how good she'd slept despite the events of the past few days and she didn't have the heart to deny that it was because of him. He made her feel safe and protected and Emmy adored him, which didn't hurt. "I'm up, I'm up." She groaned, stretching in Frank and Tina's well-furnished guest room and left her bed to pick Emmy up out of the Pack-n-Play Tina had thoughtfully provided the night before. She couldn't help but smile. Tucker really did have amazing parents. A twinge of sadness shot through her as she comforted Emmy, rubbing her eyes right alongside her. Emmy's hair stuck out at all-odd angles, and Cass couldn't help but laugh.

"C'mon, honey, let's go." She led Emmy to the bathroom, brushed her own hair and then Emmy's, and made her way down the stairs.

Eggs and bacon sizzled on the stove, Tina humming as she flipped pancakes on the griddle.

"Morning, girls." Her smile warmed the whole room and Cass immediately felt at ease. Emmy pushed to get out of Cass' grasp and toddled over to the older woman, squeezing her legs in a big hug. Tina laughed and picked up the small girl, pointing out the cooking pancakes. Emmy's wide blue eyes watched Tina's face in awe, looking at the griddle and then back at Tina's face. Cass felt guilty for the first time for keeping Emmy away from her own grandmother. The guilt was short-lived, though, because Cass couldn't imagine her mother bonding with Emmy like Tina was now. A noise caught Cass' attention at the bottom of the staircase. Her eyes lifted to Tuck's descending form, her stomach flipping at the sight of him in sweats and a plain white T-shirt, ruffling his hair to match Emmy's style. They must have the same hairstylist, Cass mused. Her humor stalled when their eyes met, and she couldn't help but notice how he observed her in her pajamas. She blushed and moved to help Emmy sit on a chair.

"Morning, Tucker. 'Bout time you came down." Tina teased, and he smiled, eyes flitting to Cass. She smiled and said her own greeting.

Tina filled a plate, cut everything into bite-size pieces, and placed it in front of Emmy, who dug in.

"Cass, you're next. What do you want? I'm not taking no for an answer." Cass smiled. "I can get my own, Tina—" Tina shook her head vigorously and started dishing up way more than Cass could eat.

"Okay, okay!" Cass laughed, moving to take the plate from Tina. "This one is for Tuck." She passed him the plate, their fingers brushing. He smiled at her, set the plate down, and moved to pour two cups of coffee. Cass' heart flipped as he handed one to her.

Tina placed her plate in front of her and patted her on the back.

"Eat." She instructed sternly, then smiled.

"Mama! Ketchup!" Emmy ordered, and Cass chuckled. Some things never change. Tina got the ketchup from the fridge and went to put it on Emmy's eggs, but she threw her arms up and scrunched her face.

"No! Tuck do it." She cried, surprising everyone. Cass couldn't help but feel slightly offended. After all, she'd been all Emmy had for her whole life. Cass realized that this meant when life went back to normal it would be difficult for Emmy to break these bonds. And for her, too, she admitted as she watched Tucker gallantly squirt ketchup on Emmy's eggs. She smiled sweetly up at him, and Tina laughed. 

"That girl has you on a string, Tucker." He grinned, then looked at Cass. 

"Yep, she does." He gave her a wink, and Cass wondered if he meant her. Then she scolded herself. After the meeting with the police he would move on, and she refused to be left pining after him.

"Cass." Tina's low voice startled her out of her reverie. "I'll keep an eye on Emmy today. Don't worry about a thing." Cass felt a weight leave her shoulders and she hugged Tina.

"Ok, thank you. You don't know how much that means to me." She whispered, and Tina gave her a squeeze before letting go.

"Cass, we should leave in 10 minutes or so. The station opens soon and it might be a good idea to get there before the place goes nuts." Tuck said, and she nodded.

"I'll go get out of these pajamas, then." She said.

"I don't know, I kinda like that look." Tuck teased, making Cass laugh as he wiggled his eyebrows at her. Tina looked back and forth between the two of them, a smile playing on her lips. Cass made her way upstairs, still smiling. She knew she should be nervous for her meeting at the police station, but being with Tuck and his family put her at ease. She somehow knew that as long as he was with her, everything would be just fine.