Breaking Free

Chapter 3- Kate

Chapter 3- Kate

Deep breaths, Kate. Just walk in, it’s not a big deal. Okay, now that I’ve had my at-least-once-a-day panic-filled pep talk I can walk in confidently. Like I said before, I’ve learned to be a good actress and the situation doesn’t change that.

Pushing through the front door, the first thing I notice is the hostess’s wrinkled nose and look of utter disgust. Ha. You wouldn’t look like that if you knew who I really was.

“Can I help you?”

Seriously? That’s the best she can do? She didn’t even try to hide her revulsion. I get it, honey, you don’t want me in your restaurant, but I don’t have any other options.

“Ughhhghhhh…”

Come on think, stupid! Okay, so my game plan might have changed a little bit. It’s hard to walk in confidently when you know you look like you just crawled out of the sewers like some creepy, giant sewer rat.

“Are you okay? You’re not gonna throw up are you? I don’t wanna have to clean that up!”

“Bathroom?”

“Um, yeah, okay. Bathroom’s right around the corner, to your left.” She rushes me off, flailing her arms, like shooing me away is gonna make me move any quicker.

Easy.

I shuffled toward the bathroom holding my stomach with one hand and gripping my backpack with the other. It’s the only thing I brought with me from home and I’d be pretty screwed without it since it’s the only thing I have left and all.

Thank God, the bathroom is clean and not too small. I take a deep breath and lock the door behind me.

First things first, I need to wash off. I grab the small towel out of my bag and wet it down with soap and water. Cleaning off takes some time, but I finally see me through the muck. When my face is done, I strip down and clean the rest of me. I flinch when I catch sight of the thick, angry red scar running up my side, but only pause for a second.  I just have to remember that I made the right decision. I couldn’t do it anymore, especially without Jake. When I’m finally clean, I take a long, hard look at myself in the mirror. I’ve changed, but I’m still me; it just takes a while to find the old Kate. I think it’s the eyes. Before, I guess you could say they looked dead. Jake was the only one that could change that. Now, I was different. I looked tougher, harder. My eyes had a steely edge to them, more determined. I wouldn’t acknowledge the pain I saw in them, I couldn’t.  Anyways, someone would have to be really looking to notice that.

I decided the word for me was meaner. The scar above my eyebrow and the dark circles under my eyes gave me a sharper edge. But I also noticed that my ribs were more prominent than ever before. These were just sacrifices I had to make, who cared about some hunger pains. Jake wasn’t around to protect me anymore and, whatever happened, I would stay strong for him because he deserved it. He deserved so much more than what he got.

I dressed quickly, grabbing my last semi-clean tank top and jean shorts. At least it’s August, who knows what would have happened if I ended up here in the dead of winter. After rinsing my hair and trying to brush through it as best I could with my fingers- maybe I should cut it, short hair would be much easier- I was ready to go. I stuffed all of my belongings into my bag and was taking one last look around when three loud knocks startled me- which was actually pretty easy to do, but it’s still not something you get used to.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE!?” Knock, knock, knock.

Shit.

This is what happens when you take too long and the hostess thinks you should be done throwing up by now. I had been planning to sneak out the back, but now I could see how that wasn’t an option. I should have just gone into a fast food place or something; this was stupid. This is an actual, nice restaurant in a rich area, and with my luck, I probably just walked into some celebrity hot spot with paparazzi swarming outside. Good job, Kate, nice job laying low. Well, better to get it over with fast.