Fish Out Of Water

Tumbling Into Light

Jas was tumbling over her own feet, telling us that this was the day we would all be free. It had to be, right? 

It had been two months, and the cameras had been on us for those two months, recording every single second of what happened. 

And in a few months, I would be watching it on TV. You know, if they ever came for us. I tried to take deep breaths, and remember that it would all be okay, but I knew that it might not be. What if they make them all choose to leave one of us on the island? What if, what if, what if? All the worst scenarios ran through my head, but I tried to breathe, and stared out at the sea, hoping to see something, anything. 

Not like that time around when we had gotten here, when those people came and then ran without helping us. 

No, this time would have to be better. I'm not sure what I would do otherwise. 

Jas has already had a breakdown, as have I. Claire ran off,  and Blake and Penn turned into assholes. Everyone had been ruined in some way except Mav, and I couldn't handle anything happening to him. So they needed to come… today. 

"You can't sit here forever," Blake said, coming up behind me, his bags in his hands. He tossed them down on the sand next to everyone else's and smiled at me. I glared back. "Go eat some breakfast, I'll yell if anyone comes." I nodded and got up, walking over to the cabin I shared with Mav. I think we were the only two that hadn't changed cabins multiple times. As I walked, I admired the island, the white of the sand, the emerald of the trees, the beautiful sapphire of the sea, all rich and pure. The island was a nice place for a vacation.

One that you would consent to, of course. 

I reached the cabin and slid inside. Mav was sitting on his bed, eating strawberries in a bowl. I sat next to him, popping on in my mouth. "So… you ready to leave?" I asked. He smiled. 

"I'm not sure if we're going to leave, not yet anyway," he replied. I nodded and ate another strawberry. 

"You wanna get an apartment with me and possibly Claire, when we get home?" I asked, because I kind of sort of needed Mav in my life. He looked up in surprise, and paused for a moment. 

Then his face broke into a huge grin. "I thought you'd never ask," he said, and I laughed and hugged him. 

Suddenly, breaking the still air, there was a scream of anger from outside. We jumped off the bed, running towards the beach, where I saw Jas, falling onto her knees and screaming like a wild animal. I tried to block it out, but I saw the sapphire water, and Mark and Blake riding away on a motorboat. I fell down next to Jas, trembling. 

I still felt lingering hope, though. The hope Mark would come back for each and everyone one of us, and make it all better. 

The rest of the day was silent. No one spoke, and we all marched together to that night, in one cabin. Penn curled up in one bed and ignored us, and the rest of us huddled together to wait for the morning, which dawned gray and rainy the next day. 

A motorboat came, again. I convinced Jas to get on without us, pushing her on as the sky got darker. This was the first time I had gotten close to Mark in quite some time, and so I spit in his face, then ran back. 

There were four of us now, and I couldn't breathe. The night was cold, because the days were getting colder, and the sky was a black I had never seen before. I sat on the beach, waiting for dawn to just come already, when Claire sat beside me. 

"Penn swears he's getting on the next boat," she said, almost crying. 

"C, I'm not letting him. YOU are getting on it," I told her. "I will fight him if it comes down to it," I said, and meant it. Claire needed to get home. 

So when morning came, and the motorboat had just arrived, I snuck Claire on. 

Penn wasn't even awake. 

He was mad, too. I came into the cabin that afternoon while Mav was swimming, and he turned livid eyes onto me. 

"You are a bitch. You made me cheat on my girlfriend, who meant something to me, and you ruined my life. You left me alone, and I do hate you, just like I said, and now I mean it, Lucy," he told me. 

This time, though, it didn't hurt. Not like all those years ago. 

Red flashed before my eyes, and suddenly, I found him funny. Because with the red, came all those suspicious moments, all the weird looking at his phone and the lie about his sister and the way he went with me and Jas and then I thought, once a cheater, always a cheater. 

So then I said to Penn, "I made you cheat on your girlfriend? Which one?" and his eyes went black. 

I realized then they weren't pretty, just angry. He smashed his fist into the wall beside my head, and I wasn't scared, because I was off. I didn't feel. 

He leaned in close. "Fuck off, or I will-" 

"You'll what?" Mav asked, standing in the doorway. Penn looked up, got up, and brushed past me. I watched him go with a raised eyebrow. 

I turned to Mav, and all my emotions turned back on. I felt rage, and I wanted to run at him, to punch him and hurt him and ruin him, because the same thing he took from me was something he would probably took from all girls, and he didn't even care, and I hated him for it. Mav held me back as I went to run out the door. 

"He's going next," Mav told me, and I went limp. 

And the next morning Penn did go. 

I hoped I would never see him again. 

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I sat on the beach, laying with Mav and listening to the waves. Then I clambered up and ran into the water to swim, and he came with me. "Can you believe we were here all this time, and we never went in the water?" I said. 

"We?" Mav laughed, and I realized that he might've swam in that ocean, but I always just referred to us as a collective unit. But I liked it that way. I began the thought, but didn't want to think it, so Mav thought it for me, because he does that, and said "Remember that girl I told you about, Rose? The one I had a crush on?" 

"Yeah…" I replied. 

"Well, we, like me and you, we're different then that. We're like this thing I read once, 'I fell in love slowly, then all at once'," he said, and I felt like kissing him, and I did, waist deep in saltwater, with the sky and the sun and I felt sparks all around me, building up and then I exploded into a ball of light. 

Which, you may not know this, (I hope you don't as I like to reserve it for Mav and I), but it's the best feeling ever. 

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The next day, Mav and I convinced Mark (we bullied him) into letting us on the motorboat at the same time, and he consented. 

I was finally going… well, I wasn't sure where, because my parents sure weren't getting me back after this, but I was going home, which I already kind of had with Mav, but I wanted a home with an apartment all the way down in Manhattan in New York City, with my money from the TV show (taking out my parent's share, as I was giving it to them by consent) I had enough money for anything I wanted for a very long time. So I relaxed, curling up next to Mav on the boat, and letting the wind rush through my hair. 

"Mark?" I said, and he turned to face me. 

"Yeah?" he asked gruffly. 

"Did you have our parent's consent to send us?" I asked, just to make sure. 

"Yup," he said, and Mav squeezed my shoulder, and I buried my face in his neck, feeling more betrayed then when I had just assumed it.