"Remember me?" law x reader fic

Chapter 2; What's this feeling?

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⚠️TW; MENTION OF S3LF H4RM⚠️
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Entry #2- Trust

Trust is a funny thing.  You can have all your trust into one person then all of a sudden, poof, it's gone.  And after so many times of this, you stop trusting everyone and you mean everyone. 

… 

The day is cold and getting dark.  Despite the time being early, the nightfall comes raging in early.  It's well around 4:30, after walking for  half an hour you made it to your destination,  Shakky's fine n' dine.  It was one of your favorite spots to get some work done, even if you only come once in a while. Making your way in, the warmness of the diner hits you immediately.  You make your way to the corner booth table and take a seat, as soon as you sit down the waitress comes and introduces herself.  Funny thing is you've seen her at school and knew who she was already.  

"Hello! My name is Nami and I'll be  your waitress today. ''She hands you a menu and gives you a sweet smile.  "Take your time to order and I'll be right back!" She leaves you to look at the menu.  You glance at it even though you already knew what you wanted.  Nami seemed like a sweet girl but you knew she had a special skill to her.  

While watching her take care of another customer's order, she "accidentally"  bumps into a man.  You watch her apologize sincerely and walk away quickly with a brand new wallet and a cheeky smile.  She seems like an innocent defenseless girl but in reality she's much more than that.  Each time you've been here you always see these acts of hers and never get caught.  You honestly admired her a bit, pulling off a stunt like that and getting away each time.  That takes some serious skill.  

"Hello again! Are you ready to order?" Nami sweetly asks, you didn't even realize she came back despite watching her.  Wow.  You quickly order and she goes writing it down in her notes.  "Okay! That'll be a 5-10 min wait" she hums

"That's fine thank you..!" You said softly, she gives you another warm smile and walks away.  Even the smallest big of talking drains you out so much, you feel exhausted mentally and needed a reset from everything.  You slip on your headphones and blast your favorite song.   You sit there listening for a bit relaxing your mind, then finally pulling out a sketch pad and starts drawing.  You continue this even once your food gets here, Nami sees you focused and drops your food off still giving you a smile you won't even see.  

After finally stopping because of a cramping hand, you finished your sketch.  You look at your work and smile.  Drawing was something that also took you to a different place just like who music did.  You've been drawing for years now and have been selling your work too.  You've saved up quite a bit now from your commissions and you were proud.  

Once you send the finished sketch to your client you at last finally get to your food.  You ordered some waffles with some sides of eggs and hash browns.  You loved breakfast. It was a comfort meal to you.  Even if it was cold you ate it as if it was a five star meal.  Nami comes back and takes your finished plates while she also gives you your check. The total was around 10 dollars.  You paid and left a great tip of 30 dollars.  You knew it wasn't necessary to pay that much but you felt generous.  By the time you left it was 5:10, the walk home was dreadful, the winter made it extremely cold and your hands started losing their colors to the lack of warmth. 

 As you reached your house you made sure to check the driveway to see if anyone was home yet.  No cars, no people.  Good.  You make it inside quickly and head to your room, locking the door behind you.  You knew your mom wasn't going to be home till quite a bit so you decided to take a hot shower to regain your warmth.  You grab your clothes and a towel and make your way to your bathroom.  In your bathroom was a giant mirror that faced the shower. While you stripped your clothes, you got a glance and your body, that glance turned into an inspection, your stomach pouch hanging out, stretch marks all around your stomach and thighs, your back rolls leaking from your bra.  This was you.  This body was the one you've scarred, hated,and hurt for so long.  You could always apologize but that would make no difference if relapse was all you knew. You'd wish you didn't do these things to your body, all the scars from self harm, the pimples on your face, the hair that grows on your legs.  Disgusted with what you saw I'm the mirror, you took your towel and covered what showed the things you hated about yourself. Hiding was all you could do, it was the only thing you knew how to do.  Finally you went into the shower and cried, cried until you had no more tears left to shed.