Psychopathic (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 40

The sound of a page being flipped filled Ari's quiet room.

It wasn't usual for him to stay at home and read since he preferred to do it elsewhere, but the thought of going out now caused him debilitating horror. The reason for that was because of what happened with Cassie. It felt like the moment he steps out someone would know his secret and his mother would go ballistic over it.

Another reason, a more worrisome reason, was because of one more secret he kept.

A secret he wished he could bury before it buried him.

Ari was not an impulsive person, not usually, but strangely when he needed to think about his actions and words more than ever was when he decided to forgo his caution alongside his rationality. Then again, how could he not?

It was so stupid of him, but how could he not?

There's no way for anyone to control their feelings, and no matter how much he tried to rationalize how it was okay for him to be happy, he knew it wasn't right. Everything was against him. It wasn't surprising, life was never generous to him. It never gave him what he wanted, he accepted that.

And now that it has given him his long-awaited mate, it laughed sadistically in his face.

It wasn't enough that he was born an omega and forced to hide it just because his mother, the only person he could rely on to survive, didn't like it – loathed it in fact. It was also not enough that he had to live in a way that was harsh for him. His body was weaker than betas, and he had to keep up with others and deal with the stress of the possibility of an incoming heat at any given moment.

It was an endless source of fear, a constant worry over wondering if it was a heat or not.

He was always looking for places to escape and thinking of excuses to make up for his sudden absences.

It helped that people thought he was just sickly, a bit on the weak frail side, and sometimes he guessed right and actually made it home instead of locking himself in a random room or stall to inject himself with the meds his mother brought him until his heat subsided.

However, sometimes, making it home wasn't always the best thing.

His mother would glare down at him, and if he sobbed and cried for some help, she'd make sure to aid him in the roughest most painful way possible. Ari almost developed a fear of needles because of her which is why he stopped asking anymore and swallowed his cries opting to just suffer in silence rather than irritate her further.

"You're disgusting." She would unfeelingly say as she watched him writhe from the pain on his bed wishing for just a tiny source of comfort. Then she would walk up to his bed and press his head harshly into the pillow, sometimes smothering him, and amplifying his pain. She didn't care about how it hurt him. "Keep it down, would you? I am sick of it happening all the time."

And then he would cry because it was all he could do.

And then he'd pretend to forget about it and she would, too. Because the moment it ends was the moment he was supposed to be her beta son.

And then he would cry about it silently again because that was all he could do.

That endless cycle of suffering he is enduring wasn't enough. It might have not broken him, but meeting Constantine did, and instead of falling apart to pieces, Ari found himself spilling towards him without any restrain.

He flipped a page in a moment of distraction and flinched when he felt a familiar sting.

"Not again." He groaned to himself watching his thumb bleed. A papercut was something he often dealt with, but it was the first time he looked at it with a fascination that made him want to sob at his discoveries about himself.

There wasn't much blood, he could have just wiped it away and let his healing mend it in a matter of seconds. Disconcertingly, however, he found that the uncomfortable smell of blood brought him comfort. This abruptly snapped his attention away from his book and he couldn't help but look at his healing thumb in bafflement.

He was sad that the smell was ebbing away, and his sadness and yearning for it would have scared him but he was already too far gone to seriously worry about it.

Maybe it was the familiarity of the smell, or maybe it was because whenever he smelled it he was helped, loved, and valued.

Plus, various parts of his body came into contact with blood. It was smeared on his face and neck, dirtied his hands, and even dripped down his thigh. Ari used to feel squeamish about it, especially when he had to wash it off of him whenever it came into contact with his skin. It felt disgusting.

But every time it was painted on his body, it was a remainder and a reminder of a gentle loving touch he craved.

A disturbing ghost of it, a proof that it had happened.

Ari gingerly placed his book on his desk and buried his face in his hands. The rhythm of his heart had changed the moment he caught a whiff of his own blood, and he couldn't deny anymore the excited stutter he felt in his chest because of the idea of Constantine being near.

An idea that was only evoked because he was conditioned to think of him in the presence of that metallic rusty smell.

Funnily enough, there was no blood present when he last saw Constantine.

The spot where he took Cassie to was also the spot Constantine would enter the town from. It was in the general area of every time Ari coincided with him, and now he found himself going back to it just to read pretending like he didn't do it hoping to see him again.

And he did see him again.

And as always, whenever he's there, Ari was kissed against a surface and told sweet words. Words that didn't help him think clearly about anything, and kisses that made him pull for more.

Maybe that's why when Constantine told him he was there to talk to someone, Ari ignored the implications his words had. It might also be why when Constantine asked where that someone lived, Ari took him by the hand without much thought eager for the smallest of touches and offered to take him there.

After all, everyone knew everyone in a town.

And Ari knew exactly where Heather's father lived.

When they reached the house, Heather could be seen skipping her way to the front door in a cheerleading outfit before she went in, completely unaware that moments later her life would change.

A fleeting thought of how wrong this was crossed Ari's mind, but he found himself linking his fingers with Constantine's instead.

"I want to see you again." Those were the fatal words that he said to Constantine, and he might have gotten a kiss on the cheek and an address that would probably change in a few weeks before their interlocked hands separated. Then he watched as Constantine left him to walk towards the door knocking on it.

And Ari did nothing to stop it. Funnily enough, blood might have been present this time, too, and it was on Ari's hand as much as it was on Constantine's. This time, it cannot be washed away.

It was his choice to do it.

It was his choice to lead him there.

And he was given the choice to go back into making similar horrible choices if he so wished.

Ari smiled softly. What's one more secret?