Lost In Your Past

Mabel

"Hazel!" I screamed, "Hazel! Hazel where are you?!" Then I saw it. The gun. The blood splatter. My twin sister's lifeless body.

This was 10 years ago and it was all I could think about while heading to the high school reunion.

"Nova if you could stop crying it would be wonderful, I am not in the mood honey."

"Mommy I don't wanna go!"

I sighed and pulled into the school. God I haven't been here in forever.. since Hazel died. Since my fucking sister died. My 18 year old fucking twin sister. And now I'm going to a reunion with my 4 year old daughter who looks exactly like her.. I mean me.

As I dragged Nova into the building, I saw all of Hazel and I's old friends. Oddly, it was really comforting to see people who experienced everything that I did. All the trauma that Hazel's suicide left on me.

"Mabel! Oh my god you haven't changed!" Charlotte screamed, knocking over Flynn in the process of running towards me.

"Charlie chill you're going to kill the infamous Flynn."

"You bitch I'm properly famous now! I have a best selling novel!" Flynn angrily chimed in. 

Like clockwork, Nova started crying on cue because nobody was actively paying her any attention. But this was no regular crying, this was full on sprawled out on the floor.

"Fuck. Flynn can you help me? Nova likes you."

Flynn nods in return and helps me pick up the now boneless child, "Oh no! Her bones are gone!"

Cue the giggles. Everything is suddenly okay now that she's not being ignored. Not like I'm going over every single memory I've ever made in this place. All the memories Hazel and I made together before.. before that. Before I got knocked up by fucking Simon! Stupid fucking Simon. Stupid Simon.. stupid hockey player. Not like I don't love Nova with my whole heart, but I really wish that wasn't how she was conceived or born. Not like I wouldn't do it again though.

"Mable! It's been five minutes and you haven't moved!"

"Fuck Charlie I'm sorry. I was thinking of, well you know."

"It's okay, we all do." Charlie responded, so calmly it almost made me not realize Simon was creeping up behind Flynn and Nova.

"Simon! Fuck off from my daughter!" I screamed. I didn't mean to scream, but it felt good.

"Our daughter. Our daughter you slut. Fucked all the hockey players right after your precious sister died."