What if I told you?

Chapter 1

A/n warning: cutting and depression is mentioned through the book... not quite sure how I am going to do this... Trying to change the pov each chapter but somehow just retell the story... Idk. - ppl_throw_rocks

Sara's pov

"Don't do it Sara, I can't imagine a life without you. I don't want you gone. I-I know that this entire world is full of horrible people and that you think that this is what you deserve. I know you think this is the only escape. This isn't the way to escape this."

That's what he says as I drag the blade across my wrist. Greg is my only friend, everyone else hates me. Greg is the reason why I haven't killed myself yet. He is the only thing that has been able to convince me not to push the knife down a little farther, to end it all. It would be so easy, to stop everything, my parent's abuse, the constant bullying, and the constant fear of myself. Life is a complete and utter hell. Every time I try to stop myself, I break down. I just end up hurting myself more. It's easier to do this. It's like all my demons come out in the blood.

He grabs my hand and stops me.
"How could you!?" I scream at him.
"I'm only trying to help you. I can't stand it when you do that to yourself. You mean everything to me and I don't want to loose you."
I'm shocked, I don't know what to say. He doesn't know that I love him. That he is the thing that is keeping me alive. I need him more than anything and yet, here he is telling me he needs me.

I instantly drop the blade. I start hating myself for upsetting him. Seeing him upset is literally the worst thing to me. It's because I know what it's like to constantly wonder what happiness is. To wonder if it is a real thing or if it is just a myth.

My voice drops and becomes soft.
"I'm sorry, I don't want this. I just feel like I haft to have it."

I want to add I love you, but I don't. I never do, it could end so horribly. Besides, how could he ever love that is as depressed and insecure as I am.