Our Friendly Big-Dicked Web Slinger

Black Cat (Felicia Hardy)

As the understaffed and underfunded museum’s lone security guard stops looking around and continues on his way, a Cheshire grin spreads across the face of the gorgeous, white-haired femme fatale attached to the ceiling right above him. She waits until he’s turned the corner, and then she waits a minute more before finally disengaging from her hiding spot, dropping down onto the floor without making a single ounce of noise, landing easily on her feet.
 
But then… a cat always does land on their feet, don’t they? Straightening up, Felicia Hardy, otherwise known as Black Cat, a world-renowned cat burglar, looks back and forth once more, making sure no one is coming. Once she’s ascertained that no human eyes are about to lay upon her gorgeous, sleek figure, the beautiful woman begins moving forward down the hall.
 
Even though there’s no one there, Felicia is all too happy to put a bit of an extra sway in her step. She may have overridden the connection between the cameras and the monitor bank back in the museum’s security office, but that didn’t mean they weren’t still recording. Someone, someday, would likely be watching the footage back, taking in the sight of Black Cat herself stealing from their modest museum. She had to look her best.
 
Inwardly chuckling, Black Cat’s eyes focus on the prize, the centerpiece of this place. This whole thing was a bit… below her usual standards, if she was being honest. The museum was not exactly famous or filled with the sort of artwork and jewelry that would usually catch her fancy. This was not some rich man’s private collection, nor a vault holding the world’s valuables.
 
It was just a museum, one with modest pieces, the kind that local elementary schools would go on field trips to, because they couldn’t afford the more expensive, more famous places. She wouldn’t normally case a joint like this, to say the least, but the price tag this time around was just too much to resist. As was the mystery surrounding her client.
 
She knew nothing about them, this person who had hired her for this job. Well, that wasn’t entirely true, now was it? Coming to a stop before the pedestal containing her prize, Black Cat smiles. She knew that they wanted this. It was apparently a one-of-a-kind statue, though from the sound of things, that didn’t make it more valuable. Still, upon receiving the job, she’d done her own research, and the femme fatale could confidently say that she was staring at a Fertility Idol of Sleipnir right now.
 
What her client wanted with it, she knew not… but Felicia thought she just might try to find out. Oh sure, the price tag, which numbered in the millions for this job, was certainly eye-catching and attention-grabbing, but she couldn’t help but think she was being played, somehow. There was something more to this, and if the client was willing to pay millions for what seemed like an obscure Fertility Idol, how much more would they or anyone else be willing to pay once she uncovered the secrets of the thing?
 
Without a second thought, the cat burglar reaches out and grabs the small statue, wrapping her fingers around it and lifting it off its pedestal as she opens the bag at her side to slip it in. Only, she freezes up in the midst of doing so, as an alarm of all things sound. Whipping her head about, Black Cat sees security built into the pedestal beneath the idol that looks a LOT more sophisticated than the rest of the museum. Only in hindsight does she realize that the pedestal itself looks out of place, like it’s not built into the floor, but actually transported to stand there, far nicer looking then the rest of the modest museum.
 
Still, her surprise lasts all of a second before she begins to recalculate things. Based on the sophistication of the alarm, the cops’ response time will likely be greatly shortened. She has… three minutes to make her escape. Not a problem. Stuffing the Fertility Idol into her bag as originally planned, Black Cat throws all thought of caution or looking ‘sexy’ to the wind as she races out of the museum’s main room.

She just passes by the portly museum guard as he comes huffing and puffing towards the alarm, but a simple leg sweep from the white-haired cat burglar sees him taken down without issue. Then, she’s headed down the hall, only to take a hard right as she avoids the paths towards both the front and back doors, instead making her way up the stairs.
 
Taking the stairs two and three at a time, and sometimes even leaping from railing to railing with the strength of her leg muscles and her arms to pull her up, Black Cat makes her way to the roof of the museum in no time. The place is only two stories high… which made entering from the fourth floor of the opposite building the best thing to do. Her grappling hook is still tied off there, and as the police sirens blare in the distance, the white-haired woman races to it, unhooking the device and then pressing a button that pulls the rope back towards its original destination.
 
She makes it to the still-open window of the four-story hotel next to the museum within moments, just as the police are pulling to a stop right outside the scene of the crime. She knows they didn’t see her… but that’s not her main problem anymore, because just as she’s fixing up her grappling hook and turning to close the window, someone else enters through it as well. Someone that Black Cat is imminently familiar with.
 
“What are you doing, Black Cat?”
 
He sounds exasperated with her. To be fair, she’s given him plenty of reason to be. The on-again, off-again nature of Felicia’s villainy and heroism has been enough to turn her own head more than once. She can only imagine how it’s been for him, and while a part of her feels sorry for that… a larger part does not.
 
Straightening up, the white-haired cat burglar smiles easily, her hands on her hips and her bust pushed forward massive swathes of cleavage exposed.
 
“And along came the Spider… you weren’t supposed to be around tonight, Peter.”
 
He stiffens slightly at her using his real name, but in the end, simply returns the favor as he steps further into the hotel room, the open window still letting in the sounds of sirens and the like behind him, as the police began to sweep the museum. If they were at all competent, they’d probably check the hotel next… IF they were at all competent, that was. Still, she wasn’t usually the type to play the odds like that…
 
“Is that so, Felicia? I guess you had bad intel. This is New York, I’m always around.”
 
She scowls at that, frowning most severely. It did indeed seem like her intel was bad. He was supposed to be off doing something for SHIELD, but here he was now, confronting her at the end of what had otherwise been a fairly successful job. Not even the surprise alarm (which she REALLY should have seen coming) had tripped her up all that much. But Spider-Man? Spider-Man was a problem, one she’d have to solve one way or another.
 
“… Why don’t you get out there and catch some real criminals, huh Peter? Purse-snatchers, rapists, muggers… I’m sure there’s plenty to be found tonight. Lil’ ole me? What have I done to warrant a beat down?”