I'm Dreaming of a Bald Christmas

I'm Dreaming of a Bald Christmas - What is the world coming to?

What is the world coming to?

Across the two hundred years or so that my alter ego had spent in this mythical Ice Pole world, there was one important lesson he learnt, one should never become complacent and take the gift of immortal life for granted, which was a harsh and bitter lesson that took him every last one of those amazing years at the Ice Pole to discover. His epiphany came in the form of a rude awakening, experienced in this passing year when after only a few moments with the doctor his world was turned upside down, making it the most traumatic year of what he had mistakenly believed was a forever life. After which a period of confusion followed that quite, frankly, left him with a mountain to climb, he became so bamboozled, that he found himself unsure how many days there were left for him and the elves to prepare for Christmas, neither did he know if there was even enough time to decorate the tree or time for Mrs Clause to cook those steaming hot mince pies or to bake and ice the Christmas cake, not to mention the roast turkey and those delicious sizzling pigs in blankets. So, finding himself totally, confused he had no choice but to step back and take an enforced break, whilst pondering over the big question.

Does Christmas truly matter if you have a monstrous alien feasting inside your head, which is growing larger by the day, and is growing so fast that it is about to explode and turn your already befuddled brain into something that resembles brawn stew?

There is no such thing as the norm when contracting big C, cancer is invariably a life-changing shock, but for him, it came as more of a disappointment than a shock, because when taking on this gig, he was given the impression it was gonna last forever. In truth, he was not told a lie, for someone else other than him, would be holding the reins of those amazing flying reindeer as they conjured up their magic. This was an unpleasant prospect to contemplate, for he had found it impossible not to fall in love with the reindeer, who over time had become his surrogate children. It is most likely that you already know each of the little beauty's names, having learnt them off by heart from a famous rhyme, that you would have sung time after time in the nursery but here is a little more about their amazing characters.

For no other reason than her name was the first to come into my head, I will begin with Dasher who is the wizard of speed who uses her magic wisely, to get the best out of her sisters.

Then we have the little darling Cupid who loves to kiss and cuddle her sisters, and her cheeky little brother who always teases her by running away, turning her affection into a game of kiss chase, that he rarely wins.

If you are looking for a reindeer with ambition, then look no further than Dancer, who is especially fond of jiggling her bottom to Salsa music and just loves to dance. She has a secret wish to appear in a Strictly Christmas Special, but sadly she is still anxiously awaiting an invitation from the Beeb.

You will always notice that someone, who stands out in a crowd, and in the Ice Pole's stable that's Donner, you cannot keep this girl down she is always the life and soul of the party, and she is more likely to dance a jig on a table than perform a Salsa.

Mirror-mirror on the wall, who is the loveliest of them all, well you do not need a magic mirror to work that out, you must have already guessed that it is Prancer. And there is no doubt, she spends all her nights dreaming about being invited to the Christmas Ball by Prince Charming.

When things do not go to plan and you find yourself running late and in need of some extra speed, you need to look no further, Blitzen is the one to call, she is as fast as lightning and at a push could outpace a space rocket.

When things are getting difficult and you need an ambassador, I can assure you there are none more capable than Vixen, she is the most enchanting. It is wise to tread carefully when in her company, for if you step on her hoof, she is likely to get fiery. But for some reason, she never drops her guard, so her true self will remain a mystery.

Having favourites, is a luxury Santa cannot afford, but nonetheless, one cannot help but adore Comet, she is all sweetness and light, and honestly, reindeers do not come any nicer she is simply the most wonderful company and will sit and listen patiently until the Northern Lights go out.

There is no leader of the reindeer pack for they are naturally democratic but Olive the one who does not stand out in the pack is not just another reindeer, she is the nearest thing her siblings have to a mother and make no mistake what she says goes.

And last, but not least, there's young Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer who is the youngest of them all and the latest to arrive from Reindeer School, and although by far the clumsiest, with the use of his bright shiny nose, which works better than a satnav, he has become the guiding light of Santa's sleigh.