I don't know what to do

3

Right know I'm sitting in school, thinking about everything and how I should handle this upcoming situation the best.
The companies wanted something knew. Not the yearly test, that helps us figuring out who should be part of our world. In the past few years less people signed in. So, we needed something knew. So Fischers grandson, Logan, decided that including a public school would be a great idea. And of course they decided my school is perfect for that idea. That way they have more new people and they get me back. They tried to get me to return for months. They don't know that I have been doing little things from time to time, to help out my sister. They don't know that I come back sometimes to practice my fighting skills, or work on my dance technique, or write songs. I sometimes help knew kids with their acting or walking skills, or teach them the protocol or overall how some things work. They don't know that. I love being there. I miss being there everyday, seeing my friends and work on my dancing, new songs or fighting. Even modeling or acting. I just love working. It's my favorite thing to do. That's why go back all the time. My favorite thing is planning events, that we have all the time, because its important to impress, like my grandmother would say. You know I love doing all of those things and I'm good in them. And everybody in the companies knows and respects that. They respect me, and sometimes are also scared of me. But they still know that they can always come to me, because I will help them. They trust me which i also love. Everybody in the companies knows those things about me, except my own family.
My siblings and I always had a deep connections. They even shaved their had for me when I had cancer. They were there for me and I was there for them. But when I had to move away with my mum, we kinda fell apart. Allie moved to New York, cause she got offers to work there, and at the time it seems right. On hand because it was always her dream and grandma would've killed her if she didn't go, and on the other hand because that was her chance to run away. Nobody knew back then accept me and Justin, but she got pregnant. Sadly not because she was in a happy relationship. No she got raped by one of the football players. They always think they are the coolest. Anyways, she ran away to New York before anyone else could find out. When she came there she found her know husband Alexander. He accepted her and her baby. He helped her threw the pregnancy and all the comments she got, which basically said „How can you keep this baby? You are ruining your entire future! Why aren't you together with Jackson?" etc. They still don't know about the rape or the emotional abuse she had to go threw, while dating Jackson. After that, she went from the most looked at and best to one of the uninterested people in the whole UC's. Which obviously is not liked by my grandmother.
My Brother was extremely good at fighting. He was the best, even better than dad. But at one point he got into drugs. Which was one of the top scenes in the news. Not in the world news. In the UC news. And again, my grandmother hated it. Justin went into rehab a few times and is clean now. He still works for the melicias, which is the fighting company ion our world. He is one of the top teachers there. He went to Irak at one point. I couldn't be more proud of him. He went threw so much and got so successful. But I haven't seen him for four years. We call sometimes, also Allie and i call sometimes. She is very happy in New York with her tiny family. Although her work is off, a lot of the times. So I do it from time to time. (Who am I kidding, I do it most of the times)
After all of that you could thing that I would be my Grandmas favorite. But no, Allie is still her favorite. even after the whole drama. Dad kinda lost her respect when he got mum pregnant and Justin kinda lost it with the whole drug thing. But she still loves him. I on the other hand had never drama or anything. I work as hard as I could. I know the protocol and follow it. I do everything a Jacobsen should do and more, but I was born by their wrong woman, so she hates me.
Everytime we are together I want to jump of a cliff. And I'm not kidding. She treats me like I'm an idiot or like i did the worst possible thing ever. That's also what I'm thinking about right know, because my teacher just told us that the wonderful MRS. Jacobsen comes to this school to visit and look at the school and maybe get some kids that can spend the weekend on the campus to get to know the feeling.
You should know this woman can be very nice. But she wont be to me. She will be to everyone else. And i don't know how to explain that, or anything else. How can I explain who I am , to the people who have been by my side for the last 5 years, and who think they know me. How can I explain any of that to them.