bass's delusional and epic entries

story time 1: the awakening

this story is about the awakening. the time where i snapped into reality, and suddenly became aware of everyone and everything!!! the time that i ascended beyond mortality, and learned the secret of life....

and it started with youtube.

i can't exactly remember what life was like before i started using youtube..... from as early as i can remember, i was always on my sticky and crunchy ipad, scrolling through the apps, and then finally choosing youtube.....

at the time, youtube wasn't full of elsa x spiderman videos yet.... a majority of the content on there was either scene kids doing their hair and makeup.... or airsoft dudes raging. there was also troll memes too.

i watched all of those videos.... but it wasn't until later i would discover a much deeper and enlightening genre.

brony videos.

i remember it like it was yesterday.... i clicked on a video with two ponies on the thumbnail. they were face to face, staring intensely at each other. i remember watching the ad, but not really what it was about... then the video loaded. 5 seconds in, the ponies were walking toward each other, meeting in the middle of the barn that the story took place in.

they both stared at each other intensely, with hatred in their eyes.... then all of a sudden, the rainbow pony tackled the orange pony... pinning her to the wall and locking her in.... then... THEY STARTED FRENCH KISSING!?!?!

i was beyond shocked... i was horrified.... probably even worse than that... yet..... i couldnt stop watching!!!!

i hid under my blanket, hiding the screen and my face as if there was sin written all over the two.

as i got further and further into the video, i would only feel the need to click off the video grow stronger, and stronger. but i didn't. i watched till the end.

i remember the relief i felt once the blaring outro music forced its way into my ears... the rainbow background begging me to like and subscribe. i turned off the tablet, and then got out from underneath the covers.

what... THE FUCK!!!!!!!

i left my tablet in room and walked into the living room. i sat down on the couch and mindlessly stared at the tv screen, which was flashing with images of trucks and random vans that were being sold at a random guy's car dealership.

my mom noticed me... but she also noticed my red face. she asked why i was red, and if i was feeling okay....

i was horrified. i had to try and come up with an excuse... AND FAST!!!!! (in reality i really didn't have to, i could have just answered "yes", but for some reason the excuse option felt required)
i turned to her, and quickly told her that i had a fever.... which ended up coming out as "beaver" because i had a speech impediment.
she obviously didn't buy it, and decided to check my temperature.

normal.

after that, i went back to my room, and then i saw my older brother and my little sister on the bed.... WITH THE IPAD IN HAND!!!!!!!!

i could only watch in horror as they flicked their eyes around the glowing screen, doing whatever children below 4th grade would do on youtube...

i wanted to snatch the ipad out of their hands and shatter it, but it was too late.

my brother made a disgusted face as he browsed the recommended page... which was full of degenerate brony videos. suggestive ones, at that.

i just...
stared....

my brother looked up, very obviously knowing it was me who caused such an atrocity... because i was the last one to use it.

i thought her would tell my mom. i thought he would get my ipad privileges TAKEN AWAY!!!!!

but all he told me was... "you can't watch this stuff, it's bad!"

.......

fucking VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i left my room, feeling victorious..... like a whole new man.....

from that day on, i continued watching degenerate brony videos, full of BAD WORDS and pony ass shaking.... and i did it drinking from a juice pouch and eating lucky charms without milk.

and i don't know how, but after that, i suddenly because more aware of the life around me. suddenly chewing became louder, people suddenly became more annoying.... but then life, also became more beautiful in a way...

sometimes enlightenment doesn't happen until after you've experienced pain and sorrow.

and that, my fellow wolves, is the end of the story..... about the time i had awaken.