Philinda: I'm not going anywhere

Im not going anywhere-Part 1

Phil wondered the halls of the silent base, his head pounding to the point of making him nauseous. The battle with the In Humans was mostly over, his team was at peace for once or so he thought. Now things were crumbling once more and he knew it came with being director, things were never easy Phil knew this but just one second, he just wanted one damn second not having to worry. He passed the lab seeing Fitz in tears as he sulked with head in hands, it's where he stayed. Never moving out of that lab, he was determined to crack open that dreaded stone and rescue Jemma. They needed their happy ending already. Phil couldn't go in and interrupt, he couldn't say or do anything to help Fitz through this and he wasn't even sure he would know how. Mack could have have helped him through this or even Bobbi but Mack moved to a different base not wanting any part of Coulson's team and Bobbi and Hunter went off to find a better life for themselves. Allowing Phil to keep them on a tab when they were needed. Not to mention Skye's state these days, she managed to find a path to the after life. Allowing inhumans to go back home after they were placed on the index. Things were hard for her to manage but she seemed to be doing it. The incident with both her parents hit her all in a week and she was more of an empty shell recently, trying to be more positive and helping when trying to form her team but falling behind. Phil was there for her but he wasn't what she needed. He wasn't what any of them needed to get through this place they were in. He swallowed the lump in his throat walking slowly to his office, this base stayed a piercing silent, it wasn't just the calming quiet either like Phil desperately hoped it would be. No, this was the hesitant quiet that made you stay on your toes, the kind of quiet only darkness and evil slept in. Tragedy and a deep history hung in this silence and followed Phil everywhere these days. He opened the door with his one hand shutting it quickly, "dear god why?" Phil exhaled once he knew he was alone, his voice breaking with words. Phil dropped into his chair and put his head against his desk. Rubbing his hands over his face he reached out for the phone and dialed that number he had memorized so quickly. He could reread it backwards or forwards and at any time. He had dialed that same number on this same phone almost every day now, it was usually the same thing. He would wait for the ring once and then press the end call button even quicker. He Pictured a happy and relaxed Melinda May on the other end, maybe on a beach with a martini beside her or in the deep mountains finding herself through yoga and hiking. Whatever it was he couldn't allow himself to call and interrupt it, no matter how much he needed that women right now. The whole Tahiti thing and the carving, Skye and her dad, being new director and running from the 'real shield' it was all so much and Phil never allowed himself to stop a moment to catch up with himself,When Melinda was right here in his reach and willing to listen he never took advantage of that. And now it was all hitting him at the same time along with the recent worries but his understanding cavalry was off having the time of her life. It was much needed too, he knew that, that's why he always hung up. But right at the moment the headache and sadness was filling ever space and he couldn't reach up to end the call. It was one ring, two, three- "Hello?" A vibrant and upbeat women answered but Phil remained quiet for a second. "Andrew?" She spoke softly and he could tell she was happy, smiling more than likely. "I'm by pool now and looking pretty hot so I'd rather you come find me" she said through a few laughs immediately making Phil smile. "Oh i bet. So you're having a good time id imagine?" Phil spoke up finally, not allowing himself to let that crack of sadness in his voice. "Phil? " she asked she laughed lightly once more. "Andrew got lost somewhere around the resort so I figured it was him" she said, "of course he did" he smiled. "But yeah I am surprisingly, I didn't know a time I freely went without my gun Or drank a sangria in the sun" she laughed out and gave a happy sigh. Phil recognized the genuine happiness in her voice and it was enough to calm him. It let his mind remember the days at the academy when Melinda was whole and unbroken. He swallowed and nodded, "how are things there?" She asked curiously on the opposite end. "Oh yeah fine. A little slow but that's a good thing I guess. But I'll let you go Melinda" he lied not wanting to bother the women. "Oh yes it is. Well I'll be back soon so keep everyone together just a little longer" she giggled. "No promises, hopefully you find Andrew and put that orange bikini to use, still a little bitter I didn't come" he said looking at the corner of the desk with the visions engravings. "Maybe next time" she said before they hung up. Phil kept the phone to his ear hoping the sound of Melinda voice would linger a little longer, put the clawing in his chest to rest for just another moment but it didn't, she was gone.