Craving Purity- Rewritten

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Levi' POV:

As soon as I close the door to my apartment, I sink to the floor and hold my knees to my chest. Despite it still being quite early in the day, my apartment is dark. Between the clutter and the dark curtains, there is very little light flowing into my apartment, and it makes me feel sick.

I have so much to think about and take in. I've been through quite a bit in my life, and to be honest, them being demons is not as terrifying or shocking as it probably should be. They proved it to be very true and I don't know why I'm not more afraid, but it's too much to think about right now.

The big issue for me is the fact that they're saying I'm their soulmate. Yes, I find them both attractive, but being with a man, two for that matter, makes anxiety pool in my gut. I'm not sure why I agreed to a date with the two; they could do whatever they want to me and I'd be powerless.

Despite Greyson driving me home and letting me go without following me or digging for my address, I still don't trust them. I don't trust easily, and two demons telling me they're meant to be with me for my life is not the most comforting thing. Maybe for someone who wants to be in a relationship, but I'm still unsure.

When I was sitting in Lexi's room, after he gave me a new pair of pants, I asked if I could look through his photo album. He felt so guilty for scaring me, despite me saying that it wasn't his fault that I'm so jumpy. I regret having looked at that album because it made me want to stay at that damn mansion.

Even though they're demons, the group at that mansion seems so loving and they seem like a real family. After my parents died, I didn't try to find a family. I figured, being an older kid in the foster care system, if a family wanted me, I'd make it work. When my foster father treated me like his son and then completely destroyed my trust when he assaulted me, I decided family life just wasn't for me.

I'm jealous of Elijah and Greyson; I wish I wasn't so messed up so I could take a risk and trust them. The family they have, the pictures in that album showing how happy they are... It made me so jealous and upset. I want that. I want a family who loves me and where everyone gets along and loves each other even if they fight sometimes.

I think that's why I said yes to the date; seeing how they treat each other as a family, maybe a part of me wants to take a risk. Maybe Greyson was telling the truth and he and Elijah really do want to help me.

Maybe they won't give up on me when they realize how much is wrong with me.

I need to do laundry if I'm going on this date. Even though I'm unsure about this whole situation, I don't want to wear greasy clothes. Plus, I work tomorrow morning so I should wear clean clothes anyway. I keep checking my phone, wondering if Greyson is going to text me. I shouldn't want this kind of attention, from a literal demon much less, but everything feels so jumbled and fuzzy right now.

Maybe I should text Elijah and tell him that I'm sorry for being so on edge today. I can tell he wants to impress me and I think he's still pretty hurt that I accused him of trying to take advantage of me. Now that I know he felt a weird soulmate connection to me, I can see why he was so protective. He still should have controlled himself a bit though.

Elijah's sad expression pops back into my head and I sigh and click on his contact.

Me: Hi, this is Levi. I just wanted to apologize for being so cold toward you this morning.

There, now I don't look mean and he has no reason to use his scary demon powers on me. Not that I really know what those are besides the fangs and the wings, but I do not want to press and find out. They may have promised me no harm, but they're still demons. Well, and men.