les journal - poetry

5

May 16, 2015 - 6:35

Journal

It's the way we left things unsaid, saying were on a break, not actually breaking up. I tried so damn hard to talk to you, wanting to work out baby, to work us out. Baby you walked away from me, heart broken I was. Thinking that everything you said was a lie, that your love for me wasn't permanent. Goddamn it you walked away from me, I don't understand why you couldn't tell me what was going on in your life, I was apart of it. I wanted to be there so bad baby, I wanted you so bad.

Every thing was so good the day before, I thought maybe that were going to be okay, going to last with no problem. God I fell for your goofy self.

Two weeks ago you were contacting me, saying that you missed me, that you wanted to work out again, to try with us. You said that you were sorry, for leaving me like that. I of course started to talk to you again maybe seeing were we would go, maybe back together. I told you how I felt, how you hurt me, you saying that you won't do that ever again. Your promise our lasted 5 days, nigga you promised! You hurt me again because I was actually opening up to you, to somebody that hurt me.

May 16, 2015 I don't know why I'm thinking about you so much. I miss your goofy, stupid, loveable self. I didn't care that you smoked so much, did stuff that nobody your age does, I didn't care you were in a gang. Those things didn't defined you and still doesn't, I cared about you well being, I was never going to control you baby. I was happy with the way you were, but you didn't think you were good for me, that I need someone better than you, that would love me more. Man I never complain about you, I did have some doubts but I still stayed, because I loved you enough to.

I know you were scared of commitment, being my boyfriend, and maybe that got in you head and started to play with your mind. I understand but you don't come back to me saying that you have family trouble, and just leaving me again. Like damn nigga, couldn't you give me a reason why.