Cal's P.O.V.
Wait what? He wants me as his boyfriend? Bit I'm not worth it. I always end up messing stuff up. I've only had one relationship and I went and ignored her because I wanted to hang out with Luke. What if I end up leaving Luke? I have to tell him this somehow.
"Lukey I really want to but I can't hurt you." I said tearing up.
"You won't hurt me Cal. I know you. You would never do that." He said back matter-of-factly.
"That's just it. You know me. Brody knew me and look what I did to her." I said now full on crying.
"That won't happen again. Mot with me." Luke argued.
"SHE'S DEAD LUKE. SHE KILLED HERSELF BECAUSE OF ME. I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN TO YOU." I full on screamed thru my sobs.
"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS BLAME YOURSELF? IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT." He screamed back red faced.
"She left a note saying that she loved me. When I read it I knew it was my fault because she knew I didn't love her. It should have been me jumping off that balcony." I stated with my wrists starting to itch for the first time in months.
"Then why aren't you dead? What do you have to live for?" Luke said straight faced like he doesn't even care.
"I STAYED FOR YOU. I STAYED FOR MY BEST FRIEND. I STAYED FOR THE GUY I FELL IN LOVE WITH FOUR YEARS AGO.BUT THAT DON'T MATTER NOW. HE DOESN'T WANT ME ANYWAY." I screamed in tears before running off to my room ignoring Luke's protests. I'm not gonna go yet. I'll talk to Ash and Mikey first. They'll understand.
