Hope of a Happy Ending

Expectation vs. Reality

I feel like I am in this some sort of twisted dream. My life is some sort of twisted dream. I don't want to be what happened to me, yet sadly I am. On this recent personality test it asked the question what is a better decision; One you can take back? or one that is full throttle? At that time I said take back, but now I realize that the ones you can't take back are usually the best decisions you can make. You may choose the wrong way but it's better than being in limbo. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Mirrors and windows. There will always be more mirrors than windows no matter what anyone else says. I know this sounds pathetic, but for these past few years all that has kept me going are those little moments and those little memories. I have found out why you need to remember things. Besides the obvious it is to have even the slightest hope of a happy ending. It reminds you of those moments when you believe in it with all of your heart because you're happier than you ever thought was possible. So if temporary happiness is real, then why can't permanent be? It's people's last hope,their last resort, and it's mine too. They might kill you because things change and the people you are looking at are not the same people in you're memories but neither are you. I hate how you are expected to act like it's you against the world, while acting like you don't even feel it. And in reality, you act calm on the outside, while on the inside, sometimes you feel so lonely that you are surprised you haven't crumbled just yet.